Assessing myself and my development as an adult is part of my revision when it comes to revisiting my plans. My mind set and decision making greatly affects my plans. If execution of plans didn't work out for me, I change the plans and my attitude towards it. I also choose my reaction, I do not react negatively because words are strong. Be careful what you say to yourself.

While doing the revision earlier, I realize I had changed a lot. There are lots to share about what changes I made to and for myself but let me start specifically with these assessments.

Before

I am Pessimistic

Since I am over thinking every night and when I say every night, it is diligently every night. I always have this spot in the night that my mind automatically think regardless I am busy or not. This is because it becomes a habit for me to think. I have this scenarios in my mind that I have plan a to z to a certain situation in my life. I am thinking in advance the problem that might occur in between. Because of that, it develops an emotion that even before I execute a plan, I feel scared already. I already have this expectation and expectation always turns out bad. It is wrong. My mindset is wrong before. I should have known it before. I was like that for a decade. Too much time is wasted.

Making Decision when I am Happy or Mad

Before , when I am happy, I am overly happy. Together with that happiness is a promise. I promise that I will give my mother extra money for our necessities or I will help a relatives with financial assistance. It is easy for me to say those promises, even without assessing if I have extra money for it. The results, promises are broken. Not only that, my mother will feel bad and relatives are hoping. It brings damages to relationships. My intentions are good, but I failed to make it right.

When I am mad, I see dark everywhere. I hate everyone that wants to talk to me. I remember all the problems. I remember all the bad things that happened to me. I will say I am the worst. I am the worst of all the worst. See, I'm bringing myself down. I do it for decades. Again, words are strong. Be careful what you say to yourself.

Evey words that coming out of my mouth and brain are ugly. In that way I turned ugly. My decisions became bad, because I am mad. I become demotivated. I tear out my notes, that contains my plans. I already declared it will never happen. It's the end of me.

Because of that I decided not to take any plans. It delays my development because I hate everything. I don't move for anything. I am impulsive and aggressive with my decisions. Bad attitude I have there.

Full of Pride

I am disgusted about this attitude. I do not make peace when I have misunderstanding with someone. Even if they are close to me, I'll wait for them to initiately talk. Even if they initiate Ill make them wait until I'm ready. It makes the relationship worst. It affects the communication as well. This is totally wrong.

Closed Minded

There were lots of opportunities in my table before. Imagine if I tried 3 out of 10, for sure, I will not be a Person I am. Maybe I become the best version of myself if I gave myself a courage. To be exact, I turned down lots of offers about work and opportunities because I know I will not understand it. I feel it is out of my league, always out of my knowledge. Excelling, I don't know that. I am a lazy frog and a coward dog. Because of that, I like to call myself, Closed minded. I am not proud. I just want to have a stress free life so I stayed in my comfort zone. I thought it was the right decision.

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The Now Self

As I wrote above, I was pessimistic, full of pride, closed minded and I loved to decide when I'm angry or overly happy. Those are my bad points. I still have bad points aside from those but those things mentioned are the things I truly cross out of my attitude. I am not completely getting rid of it, but when my system remembers the feeling, I convert it immediately. I remember what kind of attitude I want to become and I tell it to myself.

I am now Optimistic Version 2.0

I became optimistic. I applied it to myself. Moreover, continuous learning about myself, learning about others experiences and decisions, reading books, watching movies and lots of everything comprises to my change of attitude, I become Optimistic Version 2.0.

Here's what I do.

When it comes to plan and revisiting it, I do not think about the result. Before, because of overthinking, lots of result are already showing in my mind. It is filled with good and bad results. I attracts the bad ones and that happens. It always happens like that. This turns out to me to feel down and I don't know what to do after.

Now, I only think of a positive results. I jot down positive results. I claim it. If it don't turns out then I move on. I again revised, execute and positive results. I do not over think. I still over think though, but I schedule it. When I am in the schedule, I don't feel like doing it anymore , so as a result, I failed to over think.

I always remember the 1000 trying time of Thomas Edison to develop the Light Bulb. It is a must.

Pride No More?

Of course, I still have pride, but this pride is about self respect. Having pride is feeling good about myself and worthy to deserves the good results. I take pride of my hard work. I take pride because I who started the goal, think of the plan, try it to work and received my results.

However, when it comes to pride with my relations to people around me, I tone down. I am less talk at present, I prefer to listen. When I feel bad with some people, I do not talk about it. I'll love to let the emotions go. My family knows when I am sad or mad, they don't talk to me. That is because it is the way I show to them. It is my way of coping with emotions. I do not talk to people because I might say something that I will not get back. Instead if hurting someone, I allow myself to get hurt alone and deal with it. It will pass. I wait for it to pass. I learned the lesson the hard way and that is not the path I want to take now.

New Decision Making Techniques

I develop a new decision making techniques at present. I have rules before I come up with a decision.

• First, before decision making, I need to have a complete sleep.

• Second, I should be full of food. I mean, not hungry at all because when I am hungry I am irritated.

• Third, I should be in a balance emotion. Not really that happy nor sad. I am not sure if you get it, but I should be fine, okay mode. Regular and normal mood.

• Fourth, I already have listed some consequences to that decision but not to extent of absorbing them.

• Fifth, I pray for Courage. Courage to accept the results and move on.

Being Open Minded

I have a wide arrays of reason to be open minded. With all the learnings I allow myself to learn, with all the people who guided me, with all the life experiences happened to me, I already made myself understand what is happening around me.

I do not judge people now. When someone says something bad to others, like "she looks like a whore", I will look on that person and answer "maybe she hasn't found the right makeup for her".

When someone is explaining her side and there is an emotion building up inside me because he or she done something bad to me, I stop. I stop for feeling that way. I count 1 to ten before responding to this person. I put myself in their position by imagining it. Then I tone down. I talk to them like a real adult. I want them to learn from me, because I have been learning to adjust myself for long now. It is up to them if they apply it.

When it comes to opportunities, there are opportunities that I set aside because I don't have time. I have my priorities. I reschedule. I write down the opportunities and I visit it during Saturday. I try that opportunities, but I know if it is for me. I know if I can time to study. I know if I am more that interested because it is easy for me to understand it. If I feel eager, I jump into that opportunity right away. I do not say No to OPPORTUNITIES, I just schedule it.

I become open for myself. Being open minded gave me an additional task to improve myself, my plans, and what I want to become. These are the additional task I made for myself.

• I make a manifestation. I listed all positive manifestation in an edited text picture. I made it as my phone screen saver. This is for me to always read it. I alarm at 3 in the morning just to say it, as it says that the Universe is listening to everything we think and say between 3 am to 5am in the morning.

• I listen to podcast. There are lots in YouTube. When I am taking a bath, instead of music, I listen to podcast. I absorb the words in the podcast. As the saying, choose the words you say to yourself for what ever it is, it is your becoming.

• When I feel toxic and stress, I drink water. I drink water and water and i feel bloated that I don't remember I am stress at all. But I learned, green tea is much better, so I have supply at the office.

• When there is an attack of negative, I instantly play Christmas old songs regardless of the season. I sing along. Or, I clap my hands. I clap my hands to shoo away the negative energy. It works for me.

Even with those assessment and development, I still have lots to learn and I'm still open for it. There is always room for improvement in all aspect of my life. I just give myself a chance. When I made a mistake, charge to experience but I don't let bitterness get in. Regrets? I feel it, but I dont let myself drown from it. Now, I believe that I had changed for the better and still changing to be an inspiration to some people. Let me start to be an inspiration with this post.

Hi guys, I finished this article for two hours because there are lots of distraction getting in the way. Because of my willingness to share something that might benefit you too, I finished it for you. Feedbacks are appreciated. Thanks in advance for absorbing!!

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