Many of us have been through some form of pain over the course of our lives, to experience it is normal. It is how we choose to respond that can make us into a better version of ourselves. It is natural for the pain to stick with us, but it does not mean we have to let it linger.
Went through a breakup? Don’t be the reason it didn’t work out. Breakups happen, whether they are long term relationships or short-lived flings. The reason behind a breakup rarely matters when the story comes to an end. Breakups are a part of life and they always will be. Recognizing this we have to find ways to get past the pain and move on. If you have a goal in mind or are working towards something, use the difficulties you experienced in your past as motivation to succeed. Don’t allow yourself to play victim to an experience that has passed, instead use it as fuel for your future endeavors. Addressing pain in your past will give you clarity moving forward and help you achieve feats you never imagined possible.
Wounds are inevitable. They will happen and the only consolation we have is that they’ll eventually heal. The problem is that some people don’t let those wounds heal. Instead, they choose to let them fester. They allow their past pain to infiltrate their present and eventually become a part of who they are. You see, the problem with allowing your past to define you is that it changes how you see yourself. It deprives you of the good things in life. And before you know it, your past hurts have turned into poisons that prevent you from moving into the future with a clear mind and a full heart. The bottom line is that wounds are not permanent; they’re temporary. All you have to do is focus on your healing and the rest will fall into place. However, if you allow those wounds to become permanent fixtures in your life, then you’ll lose sight of your healing, which might lead to more pain in the future. So instead of holding on to your past pains, release them today and focus on reinventing yourself for your brighter future.
There is no manual to how we are supposed to deal with ourselves when we are hurt because pain is something we all experience differently but at some point in our lives, we’ve all felt it.
When you’re suffering from pain, it can be debilitating and hard to move forward. When I was younger, I made a lot of mistakes and it cost me dearly in my formative years. But when I look back on that time of my life, I can say I learned the most valuable lesson of all: I needed to live in the present moment. Life is so short that we can never know when our last day will come. It’s important to treasure every moment and live in the now because you never know when you’ll be drawing your last breath. Our lives are like a ripple in a pond. The water ripples out from where we step and hits the shoreline changing the landscape forever but then what happens? The ripple disappears and there is no evidence that it ever existed.
Does the ripple cease to exist? Of course not because it is always rippling even if you can’t see or touch it. Each day we make a ripple in the pond and by living each day to its fullest, we have created a better ripple for tomorrow. Life is about living a good life and creating better days for tomorrow. So don’t allow pain from your past make you suffer today or for tomorrow.
Our brain is hardwired to protect us from pain of our past. The result is we either become too careful or too reckless about the present and the future. We miss out on many opportunities in life by letting the pain control our actions.
The most effective way to heal deeply rooted pain is to neutralize the emotional intensity, then recognize the patterns and finally, reconcile with reality and accept it as a part of our story. You know that pain you feel sometimes? You can see it on people's faces sometimes. A certain kind of pain that you can't even put into words, but you know you feel it. We all do. We've all felt that pain.
Here's how to heal:
It's like a metaphor.
The pain is the ocean and your feelings are the waves that rise and fall upon the surface of the ocean. Waves rise and fall, but deep down in the ocean, there's a stillness.
Write a poem
I mean, don't if you can't (I can't), but if you can, this would be a great time to do it because poetry will heal you within the way no other thing will.
Talk to a therapist.
This is very important. Go talk to one of these people, either in person or over the phone or email or whatever. If you're not old enough to drive or ride a bike or whatever, get your parents to take you or get them to help you set up an appointment so that you can go talk to someone who can help you figure out what the deal with all this is and decide what you want to do next. You don't need to do anything right away, which is good because this is a pretty big deal and you probably need time to think about what you want to do with it–but also don't take forever because therapy will help right away.
Figure out what your triggers are and do something about them so you can always turn them off.