'It's been seven years"
... Jenny I guess your father already left us🥺. He is dead!
It was cold and it was also a rainy dawn to all of us, when my mother wake me up with a very devastating news. Hearing her saying that father is already dead, makes my heart shuttered. My world got broken into a tiny pieces and the news makes me out of my senses. The word DEATH keeps on echoing in my ear, and that's the only word I can specifically hear the whole time.
I got shocked, and I went blank! My surroundings suddenly get filled with darkness, and my heart stumbled upon realising that it wasn't just a bad dream, but it was the painful reality. My father already left us! He was dead, and we can no longer see him anymore! I wanna run to him but my body is not moving, as my brain went dead as well.
I can see my mother crying in front of me, but I hear no words from her. She was saying something but I can't understand her, for awhile I was deaf . My heart dies and I suddenly become emotionless for a moment. My heart and my mind can't accept the fact, and tear's were not dropping.
I make my mother scared and worried about me, but I didn't mean it. I just don't know what am I going to do. I don't know how am going to face the reality. I wasn't ready yet. I wasn't ready yet to lose my father.
Furthermore I suddenly felt some shake in my body, and finally I went back to my senses. My mother was crying and begging me to say something and stay with her as she needed me the most. From there I released all the emotions that I keep holding inside. I got hysterical. I punch the wall, I asked my mother to wake me up with that bad dream as I can't take it, but she just cried and shook her head. I fell down. My body trembled and I cry so hard asking why it happened? How it happened, but all I hear was cry.
I immediately run through him and tried to wake him up, but he didn't respond me anymore. He was already cold and lifeless. I grab my purse and I asked my siblings to help me bring our father to the nearest hospital as I don't wanna give him up. I can't.... I can't let him go.
Time of death 1:50 AM August 17. I'm sorry miss your father didn't make it! He got cardiac arrest and it's too late to bring him back.
I get so sad and devastated. I fell in to the ground as I can't accept it. I can't, I really really can't. It's too early for us to lost him. With my broken heart I hugged my father so tight for the last time and told him I love him.
I went out from the room and walked away to escape from the pain, but it keeps on hunting me.
Why? Why did he leave us so early? Why does human needs to die? Why there is death? Why do we have to be broken hearted again? We already lose one member, so why do we have to lose another one?
My heart was filled with questions but there's no answer to find.
My father is gone and it's been seven years since the last time I saw him with us, but his memory remains in my heart. He might not be around anymore, but he will always be remembered.
It took me years, 3 year's to be exact before I accepted the facts that my father was already gone. I find it hard to stay in our home and that's why I prefer to work abroad and leave the country to get healed. I actually regretted it after. I shouldn't left, as my mother is also mourning from her lose, but honestly I am weaker than her. Each day that I stayed at home, I felt suffocated. In every corner I can saw my father. It was hard for me, as I am literally a tatay's (Dady's) girl. He was the only person who totally understands me at home. He was the only person who gets proud with every achievements I have, he was the only person who never broke my heart. But I lose him.
Losing our love ones is painful. The pain is unbearable. So if ever you still have both of your parents, please cherish them. Care for them, show your love, treat them, make them happy and proud. Their life span is getting smaller while we we're growing, spend more time with them.
Thank you for reading ❤️..
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