January 12,2022 blog #121 no.10

... continuation..

Mom: how was your school?

Me: it's fine mom, nothing special.

Mom: how was grade? Your done with your third grading exam but you haven't show to us your report card.

Me: ahhhh, our teacher haven't give us our grades, so maybe next week, I will show it to you Once they give us our report card😅.

Mom: okay, that's good. Continue to have a good grades as my boss is willing to sponsor you for your college.

Me: okay mom.

Deep inside, I was guilty. Every night I always cry in silence, because I was worried that I might can't graduate . It was really hard for me because I failed in my major subject, it is also shameful because I was in the first section and yet I have a failed grade. Since I was being rank to that section my parents expectation was high, they are expecting that my grades are okay and I'm maintaining it.

But how can I show my report card to my parents if I have a failed grade? How can I let my parents know that I am not sure if I belong to those who will graduate?

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The school year has started. This time I don't feel any excitement anymore, instead I am worried. I'm scared that I might be in the same classroom with my previous classmates when I'm in second year,I don't want to be their classmate anymore.

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I was still belong in the second section just like in my previous year. But at this time I found out that the mean girls from my previous year wasn't in the list, and that brings some relief to me. Finally I can have a peaceful year, as there are no more bullies in my section (my thoughts).

And as I expected, I don't experience bullying inside our classroom, I even get ten friends but some of them are my silent competitor's.

One time we get a new English teacher, he says that he came from a private school and just transferred to our school as he wants to teach in public schools. He tells us that he has a big expectations from us specially on his subject. So every time that he came to our classroom, we are not allowed to speak our mother tongue, as we should only talk in English( his a little strick).

Literally I am not good in English, even until now, my English and grammar still poor 😅. So one time he gives us quizzes, just a very quick quizzed. He give us 10 questions and we should only answer it for 20 minutes as for him the questions are just easy. And since my grammar isn't good, some of my answers was mark as wrong. Because he was an English teacher, for him wrong grammar, is wrong, as he won't tolerate it. So basically I get the lowest score, because of my wrong grammars 😫, and because of it, he was disappointed at me and ask me to stand as my punishment. He even told me that I don't deserve to be at the second section because I am stu***. His words mark's in my heart and it even echoes in my ears. Luckily I have already friends to comfort me that time. They tell me that I shouldn't let it affects me, instead I should study more. And that's what I did.

The school year ended very smooth for me.

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When I entered fourth year, everything has changed . The pressure was on demand, as all of my new classmates was a real smart. My friends from my previous year was all in the second section and I was the only one who's out from our group. And because I don't like to be at the first section, I tried to ask my class adviser if I can move to the second section as I really don't see myself being fit to the first section. And for me to do that she told me that I should talk the second section adviser if she can let me in.

So I immediately talk the second section adviser if she can let me in. Unfortunately she told me that her section is already full and if I really don't like to be at the first section, I can move to the last section 😅.

So at the end I don't have any choice, but to stay in my section. The pressure is really high, my classmates are all intelligent and I was forced to study hard 😂😫. And because of that I lose my friends again.

We are already at our third semester when our music teacher suddenly look for a choir members for our school. He requires all his students to audition as he will choose his members from us. And since I like music, I did the audition. Unexpectedly our music teacher choose me lol. I was really happy with that, and every time that we have gathering at our school we do practice some songs to sing for that event.

But then I don't know that my science and music teacher was on a real war, I mean they hate each other 😅.

One time our science teacher came late to our class, she used to come early but that time she was 15 minutes late. When she came, she suddenly ask who's the choir members in our class. And since we don't know the reason of her question, all the members rise their hand's including me. She says that we have to quit singing or else she will fails us.

We let our music teacher know about the warning that we get from our science teacher, and we are going to stop practising. He tells us that we shouldn't get any worry as we are not practicing during her class, he tells us that our science teacher has no right to stop us because it is also part of our studies for our music subject. Because of it we continue being a choir members. We don't know that our science teacher was really serious with her warning.

When we receive our report card after our third grading exam, we get startled with the grade's that we have in our science subject. All of the choir members gets the same grade's, and it was a real fail grade. It brings some stress to me, i was worried about my parents reaction. For sure they will get disappointed. I also cry as I also failes to reach their expectations and it's really stressing me.

Together with my fellow choir members, we discuss about our failed grade to our science teacher as we possibly can't graduate if she continue to fail us. Our science teacher told us that we can only have a good grades if we will stop singing. It actually sounds childish but we followed her. We immediately quit to our choir group and just focus to our studies. Our science teacher give us a passing grade when she found out that we really did quit in singing.

Eventually, I graduated from that School. Although my parents get disappointed with the grades that I get, they still forgive me.

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This is the end of my story.

Thank you for reading.

The lead image was originally my own photo.