September 9, 2021
Being scared is part of being alive. Accept it. Walk through it - Robin S. Sharma
There are times that we are crippled with fear. There are times that we just stop because fear is eating our whole being. There are also times that we step back and separate ourselves from others because of fear. We overthink things that create chaos in our own minds. And we shut off people for a while to get away from all those thoughts that are running in our minds.
And from all of that, I'm the type who shut off people, I'm the type who wanted to be alone for some time to get away, not to run but to adjust on my own phase. To take everything away from my mind until such time that all the panic that was created in my mind was gone already. That's the only time that I'll start moving facing my fear.
What made me write this topic? Because of one email that made me panic. This email reply:
They could have replied with the result but why do they have to reply with that kind of message. And I've been waiting for 4 hours already since I got that email and still no call from them. I even sent a text message to the numbers that they gave but the reply that I got was to email them again. Do they know that with that reply they are making the person who will receive it scared or even panic? And what's worst is that they are making the person wait with the thoughts of what if?
It is hard to think positively in this kind of situation, especially if you have symptoms. Yes, I am scared, and I'm not going to deny it. And I'm trying my very best to fight it off. I didn't realize that waiting for such a result will give me so much headache, will make me weak but I know this will make me stronger too. I just need to have more faith that everything will be alright.
And just like the quote says, being scared is part of being alive, so I guess what I'm feeling right now is really normal. I just need to be patient and wait without clouding my head with too many negative thoughts. I'm not really a negative person, as much as possible I try to think positively in every situation I am in but this time it's different especially when you are alone and you don't want your family to worry about you.
Sorry for all the blabbing, I just need to get this off my chest. I didn't think this would bother me that much since my antigen test is negative and yet it still affects me. But I think I have the right to be scared when 8 of my relatives are already infected and you are still waiting for the result.
I really want this to be over and to think it's only day 3 of 14 days. Honestly, I want to write a decent article that is not connected with what I'm going through right now but I'm having a hard time so I just share it with you guys, and please bare with me. I know I can walk through it and I know I can write a decent topic soon.
Thanks for reading and I hope you'll have patience with me during this time of my life.
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Praying that you are safe po, kahit pa positive ka sa covid, still you will overcome it, matapang ka po I know that and you have a positive outlook sa life kaya kayang kaya yan.