There will always a limitation of being bad and even goodness.

In this life, I had so many things obscured from myself. Some happened because of oblivious things I carelessly executed. I also had so many regrets from the past, even blaming myself and all the possible things I could discern upon me. It's not my lost phone now, it's all the lost paradise in my life. Nothing stays permanent indeed, some will always come and go by the time. The regrets I had never heard or seen by anyone, who I am to share those things? I don’t know but somehow it will just be an image of the past I said. It’s a manner of blot and discomfort, surrounded me with some irritation of thinking why the hell I accomplished? what was in my head my I let the thing inside me cut me off.

I decided not to have the phone a little bit, might be timed to rest my eyes and hands. What if one week of not holding a phone? Just my laptop because what the laptop could do, the phone also had. Just that the internet because I lost my hotspot and lucky I am staying night sleep in my auntie’s house they had an internet connection. Well, I could feel that I am more comfortable in their home. I sometimes don't understand myself. If I sleep in someone else's home I can't sleep like I was drunk or tired. My sense is just active, might be homesickness or whatsoever.

They were asking me why not I could install my own Wi-Fi. There will always be a negative and positive reviews. I was the only one who will use it, for now, my father didn't know what the internet was, nor did my mother. So yeah in my metaverse life, my life is really private for even if I just stand my phone steady in some place, if my parents will only be around they never tried to look and hold it. They were afraid to do so haha.

If I will seat my own internet Wi-Fi, the thing is that what if I will off outside. There was no use for I also need a mobile data, so the bill will double and the other one will just be there at home no one using. Well, I had a neighbor, they had Wi-Fi though, and never shared their password to me back then so why I shall give mine too haha.

That’s so much of an introduction.

I once recalled again all the things that happened to me from the past. Those regrets and adversity.

Those happened because I was so careless.

Sometimes I can't control my anger, that’s the thing that reminds me I was really a careless guy. Back then, I didn't know but I didn't see faces or names when I was angry. Provoked for good reasoning. I was a terror guy not thinking carefully about what I said or moved. Well, I really esteemed those people back then who could control their tempers. There was a time when I think I was desperate to control it. I bravely ask someone whom I know he could, but things happened the opposite way.

He said he doesn't know, what I want from him is not what he wanted to happen. He asked me where I could get the courage and braveness to talk to them in a manner where they never talked back.

I thought that it was a bad part of me, the eyes drill look and sharp minding words that will threaten them not to bring back an argument. He was so silent and I thought never tire of being good, but I was wrong. He mentioned that being good is a tiring job, being nice all the time is somehow tiring in the sense that he could feel that he looked like a fool.

Yeah if you think a good and nice behavior person because he never speaks or never says something could stay good inside? Never was, some people are just afraid of others when they show they were not good, some were thinking that they will be harmed if they never do good to you. That’s the difference because we thought that a good person will stay good all the time, some just don’t know how to be angry, and are afraid of what will happen when they are.

There is always a boundary when it comes to everything, from being good and being a bad guy.

When I was pissed and supposed that all around was a mess, thinking that all I could do is keep silent but at the end of the day, people still prompted and gave me the thing I really hated, the time where I could feel the limits.

That somehow the thing, we all had the limits. There is always a limitation of being good and not, there will always be good inside the picture of bad and bad in the portraits where you think it's all goddess left.

Sometimes I could say I was careless and in another manner, I could say not it's my limits that cut to the vein. Thanks for reading...