I Am A Guy, But I Want To Become A Mother, Not Father.

Would you believe me when I say that there was a man who wanted to be a mother, not a father? Sometimes it's not about the gender anymore. That's the position of some who wished just to become a loving mother instead. A man who becomes a mother, actually that's not new stories for we heard enough, we watched many stories of guys who become a mother, the part of life where they don't care about the gender, they don't look for a label just that they wanted to give everything to their children.

Happy mothers day to all, whether you might be a birth mother of your child or not. Those who had no child yet did the course of motherhood. Those brother and sister people had the picture and gave the version of being a woman of the family. A day to remember everything, a day to enjoy and relax. They all deserved the love and care for their day and every day.

Enough with the introduction of the rationale.

When I was young, I wrote an essay in school titled "I WANT TO BECOME MOTHER, NOT FATHER." I was still learning English at that time, and I know that I made a mistake in my title, which should be "I WANT JUST BE LIKE MY MOTHER, NOT MY FATHER." In genitalia and science, I won't be a mum; I am a guy, so it must be a father. The sad thing is that my teacher back then didn't correct my mistakes; they focused much on a bright student, not a lousy guy like me. The title is all about, and I won't be a mother, yet I will be a father soon.

But that's made me write an idea for today; there will always be a guy who wants to be a mother. Gender is just a label to some, and whatever happens, they are happy to be like that no matter what. There was a gay who wanted to be a mother at one point. An older brother who once sacrificed his love for somebody to be a mother of his sibling after their mother passed away. And some great fathers chose not to look for another woman after their wives just went out within their family lives—many stories and a lot of summarised to tell.

If the time comes, I will have my own family, and their mother happened to be gone (for instance). I will accept that I shall be a mother and father full-heartedly. I shall focus on my child future and watch them grows. That's what made me feel comfortable, by the way.

I WANT TO BECOME A MOTHER, NOT A FATHER.

Becoming a mother must be a turning job for sure; all the effort and time becomes just a little sacrifice in the face of someone. It might be an exhausting job that leads to physical and mental tiredness. They are like powerful heroes inside the home. They are the army that weaponised; some mother mouth somehow associated with shut-gun or Armalite especially those talking too much, right?.

I also thought I got jealous of another mother; who doesn't?. a child's mind is powerful when they feel powerless. A young boy will always look for adventure, thinking, what if she wasn't my mother? Will the life of my playmate become mine? As the wishes turn to lesser things. Then what if I lived without her? That's a moment in my life trying to be beloved. Then it all comes into reality: I leave her, and I must live independently. That was college, and things began to mess up.

I remember the first day when I must stay in the college room afternoon, and the sun began to rise. I think I missed someone; the room and bed beside were filled with nothing but the luggage that had never yet opened. I began to miss her, particularly that dinner time next; I don't know but eating alone at the dorm that time is weird; it is like you are complete in a single bite of the food my mother prepared as she knew I would land to the next chapter of semi-independent. That night was full of something strange, and my body was still climatising the environment. Then here is the idea of going home. That's happened to me, darkness and night. There was an idea of going home inside of me.

I think I saw nothing that connects to every mother anywhere. Someone, a stranger became our mother in school as we ate in her restaurant; she had the embracing energy of a mother like she saw that we were longing for our mother. She even called us her 'child,' which makes the connection and the respect come to her. In the afternoon and at dinner, she will provide food for us and even give us things for free.

That's not one scene I think I saw that connection. Even my friend's mother gives the same. The fact thing is that all my mates are we are all mama's boy, that might connect us in any distances. Two of my gang also don't like what our father looks at and gives us.

I wanted to become my mother, to break the chain that I encountered as a younger me. I don't want to become like him; he was like my grandfather. And I promised myself that my son wouldn't have the same thing as I saw in his paw.

That's why I loved my mother and those mothers who gave me the love of being their children. Soon as I became one, a father indeed, yet I wanted to have the heart of a mother. Isn't that beautiful that a father with a heart of a mother?

Thanks for reading

*This is written the second time; the first material is just gone and not saved. LoL, thanks to God for guiding me to the light and not damaging the laptop. LOL