Does Planning Get Marriage at 30 Yrs-Old a Near-Failure Plan?

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Written by
2 years ago

Little thing do you know, and everyone has a plan. I don't believe in people who say I don't still have dreams; at the end of the day, when they say "I don't have a plan," there is something in their head consideration. I am single, but it does not reflect mine. I also want to enter into marriage soon, but when? Still in the process of planning.

It's 4th day of our running, I don't know, but my running buddy is much more motivated. One of the things I can't change about my fitness partner is her mouth. I always told her to keep silent, for I was embarrassed about what she was doing, especially when people were looking. She just laughed at me and continued her words; I made my walking faster so she shall stop.

She was my source of what was happening in my place, a natural face of Marites. Mind that I am not attacking her; I shall thank her for the daily dose of information in our place, lol.

Then I remembered her older brother, and I was in their home when they were planning his marriage. I asked her if June 2023 was the tentative date, and she said she didn't know, but it's not 2023 but 2022 at least. She says that her brother wasn't open to them, especially financially, like before. It seems like a sign that he was thoroughly planning for the marriage.

I nod and somehow understand her brother.

That's happened when married. Indeed we will be building our own family, and the flow of money won't forever be friendly, mind that our older siblings will end up with such thing, but we must consider their positions. Building his own is something.

Then I remembered one of my virtual friends whom I had never met. He talks about his plan and marriage. He told me that his relative had been arranging his wedding, I was shocked to hear the news, and I asked why.

He tells me that he was 30 years old, and if he agreed with that proposal, he would end up alone in his entire life. I don't know what to reply to him, but I also asked if it is really in their traditions. But he replies that he wasn't that good-looking man and finding a partner indeed becomes a problem for him.

Why are these stories connected? They were two in their thirties, which had a lot of pressure in getting into marriage. Filipino traditions where this age is the age of the process, people will question their capacity to build their children and more like a curse of people who will be in their mid-thirty to be obliged to have kids.

This is quite stressful, though. That's why I understand somehow the man who managed to choose to match someone even he doesn't love and the one that wanted this to be done as soon as possible. They want their own family as a matter of time.

That leads me to think, how about me? Am I will also one of those bachelors? When I am 23 and people my age and friends in the same brackets already have children, some are married and building their own; others are trying. When was my plan?

I will be honest that I am not looking yet, but I also want to build mine someday and become a father of at least two. But I am a bit worried actually, for things always happen precisely.

They said that thirty is a rushing age where men get pressured. Is that real? I think it was, for the reality of people I saw personally, this is the problem they face where they were over think more.

Most people also dreamed and wished that on the 30th, they would get marrieds so things would get smooth, but it feels like it wasn't for everyone. At 30 years old, not everyone thrives as we wish; the career or plan is still progressing at 30 years old. Does it have something?

This is such a sudden thought that is coming into my head, not to overthink or anything. Yet it's abused that the age of 30 is a pressure era most bachelors face.

Is it the fact that we planned wrong as we waited for 30? I wanted to open this as a discussion, and honestly, I am looking for some opinions.

Or maybe some of my readers face the same encounters with others or themselves?

Does planning to marry at 30+ is failure?

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Written by
2 years ago

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As long as comfortable ka na go. -The career or plan is still progressing at 30 years old- yes. May nabasa din ako dito na yong mga friends daw nya may family nya, sya inuna nya career money, kaso wala pang anak at asawa, gave up his childhood gf.

Sabi nya sana nagpakasal na sila noon para may inaalagan na sya mga babies ngayon. Yong money darating at kikitain, yong tao na para sayo, let go o keep forever. Kanya kanya naman tayo ng story. Malay mo db, start buidling your financial prowess too, support ka nila, namin pala and cheer.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

After 4 years, 30 na ako. Noon, I feel pressured talaga kasi may mga kaklase din ako like in the age of 23 na may family na, but now, I just realized that we don't have to be pressured myself to get married kasi hindi biro ang pag-aasawa, kailangan yan paghandaan. Gaya ni Cherry, mas takot ako pag wala din akong ipon hehe.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Parang andami ko pang gustong gawin before I lanf 30. I think it is just a norm na pag 30 ka na, dapat mag asawa ka na. We need to break that though kasi life is not meant to be rushed.

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2 years ago

I'll agree if it is a woman since they would be having difficulty in pregnancy or will be having complications when giving birth at 30s. For men, it just depends I guess.

All I can say is that marry when you are financially and emotionally ready. Also, if you are that committed to your partner.

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2 years ago

Hmmm. Ako I don't feel pressured. Mas kinakabahan pa ako kung 30 na ako tapos wala pa akong ipon, hehe.

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2 years ago

Haha totoo nga mas nakakatakot yan whahaha.

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2 years ago

Pinoy kasi talaga ang oa sa marrying age hahah eh sa iba nga pag nag 30 ka dyan palang start na maghahanap/makakilala ka like kahit 35 kana or 40 mag asawa normal lang sakanila

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2 years ago

Yeah exactly maybe dahil din sa filipino norms no?

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2 years ago

Oo, tsaka standard talaga ng pnoy matagal na panahon na haha

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2 years ago

It is better to marry late than to marry the wrong peraon and regret it when you can't back out anymore. I'm 27 and most of my peers and my friends are getting married and building their families. Some even have kids in elementary school. Everytime I attend a friend's wedding, some oldies would ask me "what about you? when are you getting married too?", but that doesn't affect me and I don't feel pressured at all. Why should I when I don't feel like doing it. If you're not ready for marriage then don't push yourself into it. It's not too late to get married when you're in your 40s either.

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User's avatar sc
2 years ago

Yiee this is actually nice hehe.

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2 years ago

Not planning at all is a failure.
I got married at the age of 27, and never experienced the pressure of being married. I always say to some of the folks that I encounter that they work in their timing both your partner as well. Mahirap ikasal na walang bahay, walang stable na trabaho and all.

I think what pushed me to decide to get married ay dahil time na talaga namin to get wed, tapos na ang pinapaaral na kapatid ni wife and the responsibility of the bread winner isn't carried on her shoulder anymore. Yung engagement process at yung pag pre prepare for almost a year helped both families to get ready sa gulo na papasukin namin.

So yeah, I enjoy mo lang Eu, and do not rush things darating ang time for you on that. Masaya at mahirap ang buhay na may asawa pero overall pipiliin ko parin ikasal sa same person over and over again and this is why I grind hard.

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2 years ago

Napa wonder lang ako hehe, but yeah still best thing that I do open this and look for others perspectives.

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2 years ago

There's a reason why people say "Life Starts At 30!" It's never too late. Enjoy muna natin ang 20s natin, di na natin 'to mababalik.

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2 years ago

Yiee this is real, just do what we love muna.

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2 years ago

Wala naman kaso yung kasal kasal na yan kahit anong edad mo na. Ako nga walang balak kasi ayaw kong mag-alaga ng bata haha. Pero kasi kapag nag-age ka na ng ganon, ikaw lang rin ang mahihirapan kasi may chance na may illness ka na kapag gusto mo makita yung anak mong tumanda hehe. Si Mama nga 28 yata siya nung kinasal hehe

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2 years ago

There's nothing wrong for being single at the age of 30 and even older. There are some who are okay with it but there are also some who will make it a big deal as if they are you.

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2 years ago

Wag ka ngang mapressure Eunoia ang mahalaga di ka baog hahahah. Yung iba nagpapakasal kahit nasa mid 40s na, nagkakaanak pa rin naman. Basta wag ka magmadali at baka pagsisihan mo pa ang magiging asawa mo hahahah.

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2 years ago

I'm kind of 50-50 with the question since marriage is a serious matter and both have to really prepare. I find marriage at 30 as an ideal time kasi it's not too early nor too late. But if a couple thinks they're very ready and sure, why not right? It depends upon the situation I think.

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2 years ago

Tatay ko nga kinasal noong 33 siya, for me balak ko maghanap kapag 30 na ako want ko muna ienjoy ang buhay HAHA

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2 years ago

You are still young, and I think that marriage is not something we need to rush. Everything happens on the right time. As of now, relationship should be what you are building since you are almost in the midst of 20s

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2 years ago

Manong, malay mo yung oara sayo natraffic pa. Darating kanrin dyan, sabi nila enjoyin muna ang buhay ng walang oamilya kasi once meron na mas magiging busy kana talaga

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2 years ago

In our country and culture, the age of marriage was mostly under 20 in the past, but that has changed now. People do not want to get married before they mature and gain economic independence. Now the majority prefer to get married over the age of 30, which is an age range that I also find correct.

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2 years ago