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@Ellehcim

Ever felt Lonely? Same.

There are days I feel that I am fighting alone. No one checks up on me. Whenever I asked for help, I always feel their reluctance to assist. It feels both embarrassing and disappointing. I regret asking, so I just do hit *"Unsend"* or *"Delete Message".*

**Have you experienced that, too?** Like thinking lots of times before sending a message to someone, then you'll regret it after, because you'd think, *"Why did I expect? I know he/she doesn't care."* It sucks. I know I am not a person who likes being around people. I prefer being alone, and yes, I also am not fond of frequent interactions, as those drain me quickly. However, when I ask for help, I make sure that I am aware that I have been of help to that person previously. *I don't like feeling indebted, or to appear like I am taking advantage of them.* So, I always help others as much as I can. It is just saddening to know that when it's I who asks for help, they're showing no interest, or of they do, it's obviously forced. They are making it show. And whenever I realize this never-ending process, I can't help but feel miserable. I always feel that I don't deserve their help, maybe. Or they just really don't want me to be their friend. Because I am a boring person who does not like fun stuff, or whatever. I think a lot like that. And lastly, I really take it to heart, and remind myself to never ask for their help again. When time comes that they need help again, I end up helping them again. *I must be stupid. No, I indeed am*. But I don't wanna think of it that way. I'd like to think that I know God sees whatever I do, and whatever I experience in return. With this mindset, I feel better. God is the *"realest"* bestfriend there is, my family is second to the list. **My mother has always been with me in everything.** Whenever I think of it, it's she who worries the most when I got sick. It's she who looked for remedies, and cooked me healthy meals. It's she who never got tired of checking up on me. It's she who would scold me for getting annoyed at her constant worries, but still worry again afterwards. *She never runs out of love and thoughtfulness, even I fail to be a good daughter oftentimes. She is not perfect, but her love is. Her love never failed.* **Father rarely talks, but he works hard.** He always takes action without complaining. He does not care about himself, as long as he could bring food to the table. Now that he is not working anymore, he is still a wonderful help in the house. He is so understanding and patient. I can't know how he feels all the time, because he is not expressive *(I guess, I inherited that trait Lol)*, even he's facing difficulties. I am glad that he's more open now than before, especially when he got to know God more. *He is an example of selflessness to me. I am always proud of him.* I am not kidding, I am getting a bit emotional again. Let me just change my position so they won't see me crying like a dumb woman while typing something. It does not help that my brother is playing a parent's love related song while washing the dishes right now. Have you heard of the Filipino song by **SB19**, ***"MAPA"*** ? It's actually a shortened combination of ****Ma****ma and ****Pa****pa. In our language, *(Filipino)*, Mapa literally means "Map." It's beautifully represented how our **parents are our Map, that gave direction to our lives.** I believe that even if you aren't a Filipino, you'll love this masterpiece. I've also watched some reaction videos of non-Filipino Youtubers, and I saw how they also got emotional. This song has a beautiful meaning. I hope you'll give it a listen, and tell me what you think of it. https://youtu.be/lrw3d1PYk1s *I wonder how I could give back all of my parents' sacrifices for me. Well, I know I never will.* No money could compensate all these years they raised us, all their blood, sweat, and tears that they had just to take care of us and give us a good life. We aren't a rich family, but we are plenty in love. I wonder how many times they secretly cried due to the difficulties in the way. **I won't exchange my mama and papa for anything in this world.** To me, they are more precious than anything, that's for sure. ****We have different people we treasure.**** **To me, it's my family. To you, it may be a real friend, or a pet, or anyone else. There is no specific category, actually. We all respect that.** Whoever they are in your life, I hope we'll get to show them our love and gratitude as much as we can. *Time is both sweet and cruel. We don't know how long we are gonna be together, so I hope we'll all find ways to make every moment count, and not add anymore regrets.* **Do not be like me.** Just yesterday, I made mom cry because of my immature rants. I have opened about how I felt controlled by her sometimes. I had this misinterpretation that she always tells me what to do in some specific things, that I feel like I have no control in my life already. However, her words yesterday made me realize how she was doing everything out of love. I mean, what could she benefit from scolding me because I did not heat the water I should use for bath yesterday? Nothing. She was mad because she was worried, and she does not want me to get sick again. ***Mom really does not gain anything*** *from reminding us to take vitamins everyday, or telling us about not abusing phone use all the time, and her constant nagging for us to organize ourselves.* In fact, she even gets stressed. When I start to think this way, I realize that I must have thought about myself all this time, not thinking of her side. I promise, that from now on, I will try to be more understanding and not cause much drama anymore. Whenever I hurt her, I also hurt myself, and it's actually doubled. Whenever I made her cry, I feel like a despicable person who is not grateful. So, I'll do my best to not do it again. I hope I will always remember it, if ever I won't understand her in the future. ***I hope that this would be a reminder to everyone who reads this. Let us do our best to not hurt our parents and be more understanding. After all, it's being matured and selfless, and it prevents us from having regrets in the end. Let's hope that the last time we made our parents cry will really be the last, and we'll just always aim for their happiness from now on. They are not getting any younger, should we give them more heartbreaks? This is also for us, because I am telling you, it is not good to live in regrets.*** ***One day, even if we don't like it, we'll just look back and evaluate ourselves, did I love mom and dad enough? Did I show them the appreciation they deserve? I hope the answer will be YES.***

Oh well, it's not Mothers' or Fathers' or Parents' day right now. I still wrote this because I realized these things on the past two weeks of encountering some hard times. My family's the one who showed the most genuine love, and I am always grateful. Some friends of mine that I expected to at least greet me on my birthday did not actually message me. I have my family, I have read.cash, I have God. After all, I am not really alone. From nkw on, I will try to pay more attention to people who sincerely likes me, than those who do not. Until next time beloved darlings. Thanks for reading. ❤️

❄️ Read Next: ****Blog: When August End**** https://read.cash/@Ellehcim/blog-when-august-ends-d72c6310 **Break Time!** https://read.cash/@Ellehcim/break-time-317c6221 ****Dear Diary, All is Well.**** https://read.cash/@Ellehcim/dear-diary-all-is-well-56896a6f ****Reflections**** https://read.cash/@Ellehcim/reflections-2e0b0d90 ****I Need A Vacation**** https://read.cash/@Ellehcim/i-need-a-vacation-12492dd3 ****Adulting 101: Insights of a 21 Year Old**** https://read.cash/@Ellehcim/adulting-101-insights-of-a-21-year-old-833b0e2b ❄️ ***Fourteen*** Series https://read.cash/@Ellehcim/dear-diary-all-is-well-df9d4c25#fourteen-series ****Fourteen | 11:12**** https://read.cash/@Ellehcim/fourteen-1112-5abbea66 ****Fourteen | 08:02**** https://read.cash/@Ellehcim/fourteen-0802-0a6fea1e ****Fourteen | 07:03**** https://read.cash/@Ellehcim/fourteen-0703-e298711e ****Fourteen | 04:15**** https://read.cash/@Ellehcim/fourteen-0415-de873753 **Fourteen | 01:17** https://read.cash/@Ellehcim/fourteen-01-17-1b0b74d4 **I am excited to see your name on my sponsor block. Thank you in advance!** **Be a writer in this amazing platform right NOW! Register** **HERE** **❤️ and let me know so I could guide you through.** https://read.cash/r/Ellehcim **Let's hang out on** **noise.cash****! I also go by the name username. Want some assistance? Don't forget to tell me. I am more than willing to.** https://noise.cash/u/Ellehcim #Club1BCH To God be the Glory.

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