It is not even five in the afternoon, yet it is so dark already. Maybe it's because of the thick clouds that surrounded the sky. There is also a mild rain that has been pouring for twenty minutes now. What is the weather in your place right now?
I just finished brushing my teeth and gargling a warm salt-water solution. You see, even just a piece of a chocolate cookie caused my gum to ache again. My left neck still has that swollen lump, and it is painful to touch. I have discovered that it is connected to my gum that have swollen without me noticing. I only noticed it when it started becoming painful and burdensome.
Warm salt-water solution relieves the pain afterwards. I also rely on a cold compress and the Salonpas pain patch to relieve the aching sensation. What I am thinking about, is for how long it's gonna last.
I thought I am already done with the colds and cough. My sense of taste and smell are gradually coming back already, and the two-week quarantine is finishing this Saturday. Then this lump entered the story. My anxiety radar has caught something worth worrying and staying up late for again. Nice, thank you so much.
I felt that it has been a bit tough, even it's a vacation. Turns out, I still have some stuff to worry about. It sucks. It's annoying. It seems like it has no end. I want to sleep without any worries for once. They don't stop pestering me. I am getting sick of it.
I missed yesterday to write nor read articles. My load subscription is about to run out soon, I gotta reload before it is fully consumed. There is nothing remarkable to watch from Youtube, aside from the Chinese dramas I recently discovered. I am currently switching between two Chinese dramas. When I get bored from the first one, I'll go to the other one. The third Chinese drama is my favorite, but there is no episode uploaded until now. I have to wait until September nine. Whew.
It's the time of the month again. I am starting to feel empty again. I am acknowledging it as early as possible so I can take steps to fully prevent it. I have noticed myself doing that unproductive scrolling session again. I switch from one social media to another and try to watch, see, and scroll, just to find something interesting. It takes me hours to do that, and it also steals me of chances to become productive. I do that mindless scrolling spree (as I call it) so I could feel something. Maybe I had to see some beautiful Korean Artists to be inspired to exercise again. Maybe I should watch some dramas to be happy and have something to look forward to again. And other nonsensical reasons you may find funny. That's a situation I am in right now, and writing like this, is my first step towards restarting again, and straightening up what's going in the wrong direction.
I should be in some online earning platforms, at least. Or sleeping instead of tiring my eyes with phone exposure, or just accomplishing more laundry as long as I have the chance, but no. Right now, I am that lethargic girl who ignores her worries and fears by filling her mind with contents from social media. It is a damaging habit, and I am calling it out right now, because this is the last time I am letting myself indulge to it.
My eyes are already tired from watching dramas all day long. It must also be the reason I slept earlier last night.
I also took for granted something again. My spiritual health. Prayer time is significantly shorter that time doing unnecessary things. It makes me feel guilty. I know that prayer is my source of strength and will power, but it's stupid that I don't practice it.
The first thing that came into mind was to eat some good chips by the time I gain back my sense of taste and smell. You know, scrolling these past few days always showed me various videos of people enjoying yummy-looking potato chips. I badly wanna eat them again and enjoy my favorite flavors, especially barbecue and sour onion flavors. I also badly wanna eat some ice cream again, my favorite strawberry-flavored one with some rice crisps as coating.
Then I slap my face mentally. How could I think of salty and sweet foods immediately? They are the cause of my sicknesses! Why the heck am I thinking of them again? Goodness. This is how dumb people can get. They always stay with those that hurts them. They know that they will be in danger, but they still stay with ones that they are not supposed to be with. Wow, hugot, Elle. Ang korni.
Anyway, am I wrong though? What's prohibited is what we want more.. That's how stupid we can be.
Anyway, why did I suddenly talk about foods? Oh, it's because I saw some food-related ad again just a few minutes ago. It was a delicious, cheezy pizza accompanied by an iced tea. Wonderful combination. Okay, I will stop here. For real.
I let out a weird yawn just now, and my throat hurt a bit. When will this lump go away, it is to burdensome. I suddenly want to just close my eyes right now,.and take advantage of the time my eyes finally reminded me to rest. My siesta time is not a sleep time today. I used it to play with the kitten, and watch dramas. See? So unroductive.
I hope swelling goes away soon. I hope we are all healthy and virus-free. I hope mom gets back home safe and sound (she had an appointment this four o'clock.) I hope I could get a good sleep tonight. I pray that God will grant me peace of mind always reminding me that He is in control. Even I personally can't find a way to believe at times, I'll still say, everything will be okay. All is well.
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Same goes with me, sometimes I am bored so I browse through Instagram to find my muse, but still not inspired.