Frozen

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Avatar for Ellehcim
3 years ago

Twenty minutes before 10:00. Clock is ticking, time continues running, and I hope my brain goes with it, too. Unfortunately though, it's not. While the hands of the clock have completed lots of laps already, my brain somehow froze.

An attempt to a free-writing to discipline my mind and train it to think of new ideas to write. Well, actually I am not running out of ideas. In fact, lots and countless ideas come by my mind every second, and these overwhelming flow of thoughts makes it harder for me to stick to a topic I'd be more comfortable to write about in a specific day.

How am I? I am still wide awake at this hour, honestly. I apologize to my system that I'd sleep later that my "strict" 10 pm sleep time. (Strict, my foot). First of all, I should publish something today, even it would be late. I don't want to regret of not posting when I know I can still squeeze some brain cells of mine. That's unproductive.

I am still elated about my 1BCH achievement yesterday. And I want to thank everyone who congratulated me. I am still not able to reply to some comments, but I'll make sure I do, when I have free time. Seriously, it's still seemed like yesterday when I am just one of those readers that got inspired by others' BCH success stories. Now, I got one to talk about. So, of course you can, too! Look at this potato, she made it. Just make sure to work as hard, or even harder than her, so you'll achieve your own goals sooner. Trust me, hardwork really makes a difference. I am rooting for you.

What am I doing? Writing this one. And thinking, again, of my insecurities. I can't still get rid of them all, but I am telling you I always try to. I still get a bit sad and unsatisfied whenever I look myself at the mirror. There are still times I wished I have what other person has. I still do feel these things from time to time. It's difficult, indeed. Trying to embrace myself when the other part of me is still hard on myself. It is hard but I know I am always trying. Why did I open up about this?

It is so easy to encourage others to love themselves. Or tell them to be confident. But when I do it to myself, for some reason, I struggle. I doubt. I don't feel as okay as I want. I think it's normal. Is it? I don't know, actually.

I heaved a sigh just know because the tingling bit of pain I feel is due to my own fault as well. My greatest enemy is myself. I must defeat it. Like I've said lots of times, I always try hard to overcome. I always try.

What happened today? Still the same old, a normal day at work. However, one of my workmates had an errand to go to this morning, so I went to the bank for her. It is to withdraw some petty cash replenishment. Something like that. Queue to the bank was long, and I had to wait for more than one hour. Not that inconvenient because there are at least chairs to sit on, and a tent that will cover us from heat of the sun in the middle of the day. Yeah, I was late for lunch because of this bank transaction.

Time was still worthwhile though, as I got to use the waiting time to catch up with roughly, thirty to fifty articles, I think. I managed to sweep off subscription notifications for articles they posted this day, until two two days ago. Now, the ones left in my notifs are articles from three days ago, or those recently posted tonight. Considering the large number of writers I am subscribed too, I guess this was a lot. I will power through binge-reading and interacting as much as I can when I get time.

A random sharing again. It is my first time ever experiencing inability to tip articles. I just shrugged it off because maybe it was just caused by slow internet earlier. Here's how it looks, though:

Does someone know why this happens?

What do I expect tomorrow? A Friday, one of my favorite days of the week. I just prepared clothes to wear for tomorrow, and did some facial care routine, before writing this. I heard that in our location here, a strict community quarantine is to be effected tomorrow. So I expect another troublesome commuting because of lack of public transportation and stuff. I also expect a rainy day again, so I will surely bring my jacket (the new one I bought specifically, hehe).

I will give myself some break tomorrow and not tire my eyes that much. I will try to lighten my work, as I can always do the rest next week. There are job tasks that are not urgent and I am not forced to finish them anyway. I will just relax myself tomorrow.

What now? Ten minutes after 10 in the evening, and I already feel my eyes getting heavy. Mom just turned all the lights off and I switched my phone to night mode, so my eyes won't struggle with brightness. I will do some exercise before sleeping, in an attempt to get rid of some of these unwanted waist fat. I hate it when I get it. It may not sound good, but I don't really like when I'd have belly fat, though I have it in reality. I am not just comfortable with it. And it is one of my petty insecurities.

Someone take Youtube from me! Oh, well, I don't own Youtube in anyway, but man! When I open this app in my phone, I can't stop myself from watching! The homepage displays suggested videos that I watch. I start from one random clip, until I am directed to an endless black hole of stuff to watch, especially Kpop. I still watch these recommended video like a stupid, anyway. Urgh! Bad habits!

I can hear some kittens of the neighbor crying out this time of the night, and I wonder where their mother is? They are probably hungry for cying nonstop like that. Hopefully, someome would tend to them precious feline babies. The ones in our house are now really silent, surely sleeping.

I did not see Whitey today, intentionally. I am sorry, Whitey, my body is not feeling it today. I am happy I get to see this stray dog walk and even run a but from time to time. That's a remarkable achievement. Good night and sweet dreams, Whitey.

I don't want to wake up early tomorrow. What's new, though? I always am like this. One more day, and it's gonna be weekend.. Just a bit more, Elle. Just a bit more.

Wait, look at this:

Top tippers list. Ta-Da!

From here, goodnight and pray everyone! Until next time.

Love,

Elle ✨

  • Lead Image from Unsplash

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$ 10.84 from @TheRandomRewarder
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Avatar for Ellehcim
3 years ago

Comments

Hahahaha. Hindi ko pa din nacclear ang notifcations ko ngayon pero kahit papano may naoopen naman na ako. 😁

$ 0.01
3 years ago

Sipagan pa natin ng konti, mauubos din natin yan. Di lang natin alam kung kailan. 🀧

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Yay! That's a real achievement, I mean 1BCH. Congrats! And regarding your tipping error, I experience that too, several times, but I just refresh the page, tip again and it usually goes.

Hope you'll feel a lot better soon! 😘

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3 years ago

Oh yes. Thanks for your congratulatory message!

I tried going back to the person's article and I successfully tipped her. It's good now.

I feel better now, thanks a lot again. β™₯️

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3 years ago

Awesome! Glad you're feeling better and you had success in tipping too❀ Stay better, feel better and enjoy your weekend Mich❀

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3 years ago

Oh wait.. yeah! The badge! OMG! Hahaha! I got it! Yes! I am so happyyyy! 🀧

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3 years ago

Haha see? Congratulations once again❀

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3 years ago

Thanks a lot again! A dream come true, indeed! 😍

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3 years ago

Awesome!

$ 0.01
3 years ago

I envy you to happen to sleep strictly at 10pm because I sleep at 4:30 am and wake up 7:30, but since its quarantine my sleeping time will be for 2 hours only. Poor me.

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3 years ago

Why? Is there a rule in the quanrantine to sleep for 2 hours only? I am curious why? Please get more sleep if you can. πŸ˜”

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3 years ago

Take some rest, Mich. Maybe you'll see whitey tomorrow hehe!

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3 years ago

I saw him! I actually gave him palabok na nabili ko, but a day has passed and he did not eat it! Maarte! Hahha!

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3 years ago

Wow!bait naman. Kaso di kinain? Nubaya baka ayaw niya sa pasta, Mich. 😁

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3 years ago

True. Pero binigyan ko naman sya dati, kinain naman. πŸ€§πŸ˜‚

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3 years ago

Ah baka ayaw nya na. Lumelevel up din c whitey hehe

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3 years ago

Sa true lang! Hahaha!

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3 years ago

It is so easy to encourage others to love themselves. Or tell them to be confident. But when I do it to myself, for some reason, I struggle. I doubt. I don't feel as okay as I want. I think it's normal. Is it? I don't know, actually.

I can relate to this, ang daling e suggest sa iba pero pag tayo ang napunta sa ganong sitwasyon, napakahirap ng gawin. Bat kaya ganon ang life no, parang buhay 😩.

Anyways, buti pa ikaw di nawawalan ng ideas. Ako'y malapit na masaid haha. And relate din ako minsan ss ang daming idea naman na napasok sa isang araw tapos sa sobrang gulo di mo na alam ang uunahin mo. Aguyy lang talaga.

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3 years ago

Kahit saan kasi lumingon, pwedeng itopic sa isang article eh. Kaya overflowing ang ideas πŸ˜…

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3 years ago

Ehhh, bat ganon ang easy sau. Beke nemen pengeeeee kajit isang topic. Huehue

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3 years ago

You can write about the interview na po! Hahaha! (nampressure ulit πŸ˜‚)

Try mo yung prompts ni Ms. Jonica or yung #promptfactory ni meitanteikudo. πŸ˜„

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3 years ago

Ung sa interview yan ung pinag iisipan ko. Nag iisip ako ng kalokohan. Ahaha

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3 years ago

Ay nakooo, naeexcite ako sa kalokohan na yan. πŸ˜‚

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3 years ago

There are times we feel down. Things get to us and affects us. I hope you feel better soon so you can see Whitey :)

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3 years ago

Thank youuuu, I feel better now. πŸ€—

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3 years ago

Haha tawa ako sa β€œstrict my foot” because I am like that too, I want to sleep early but I can't haha, crypto addiction is real 🀣 btw, congratulations again on your 1BCH!

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3 years ago

Haha, di nasusunod na rulesπŸ€§πŸ˜‚

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3 years ago

I like this way of writing. Random things, random thoughts, anything that comes into mind. I hope you have a good morning there. Congratulations on your milestone!

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3 years ago

I am so good at random talks, I guess. πŸ˜‚ Thanks po for reading! β™₯️

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3 years ago

What a random free writing I have ever read lol. Jumping from one to another lol.πŸ˜‚ By the way, let's just say Hello bestie, it been a while. (Yeah I am still not free and yes, got a lot on my table but look at me here snooping around πŸ˜‚)

Anyway, I haven't been going around here for a while so can you tell me what's been happening here while I was away? Before I forget, congratulations on your 1BCH achievementπŸ₯° I just read you finally achieved that.

As for your strict my foot 10 pm sleeping time hahaha, I guess you are still struggling with that lol. I don't even have time for the struggles again even if I wanted to. But all the same, I see you are fine and doing well. And for belly fat? I don't like it either and I do everything to maintain this flat belly πŸ€«πŸ™„

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3 years ago

Wow, I wish I had a flat belly like yours! Huhuhu

I don't really know if there is some beef or nothing that's going on because on most days, I just write an article an leave, or check my subs notif to read and tip articles then log out again. Hahah!

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3 years ago

That's fun too read! I enjoyed that. Congratulations Michelle on your 1 BCH! And keep safe, keep yourself positive, kahit nakakastress lol.

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3 years ago

Yes po! Minsan nakakastress kahit walamg dahilan ano? Kahit more on about money talaga hahaha! Thanks for reading po, lodi. β™₯️

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3 years ago

The homepage displays suggested videos that I watch. I start from one random clip, until I am directed to an endless black hole of stuff to watch.. Hahaha same happens to me all the time.

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3 years ago

Yeah! So unproductive and addicitive. Hahaha! I should not open it if I haven't written yet here in read. πŸ˜‚

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3 years ago

I love this free random article, feels like I was talking to you all throughout this write-up. I wish you'll have a great day tomorrow and please keep yourself safe especially that some parts of the PH are under ECQ and MECQ.

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3 years ago

Yeah, i think it'd really start today. Urghh.. Commuting struggles again. 🀧 If onky I had a car and a driver . LOL

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3 years ago

Congratulations on your achievement we move tomorrow....lovely writeup

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3 years ago

Thank you, friend! You are part of it, thanks a lot β™₯️

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3 years ago

Goodnight Elle. πŸ’œ

But before that, as BTS said, Love Yourself! Its not easy, but you'll make it. Don't stress yourself out.

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3 years ago

Yeah, it's because of them that I learned and started to love and speak myself. πŸ’œ

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3 years ago

Yayy! Ang ganda basahin Elle. You are beautiful as you are. πŸ’œ

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3 years ago

Thank you, Jo! You are indeed beauiful as well! πŸ’œ

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3 years ago

Yay! Welcome Elle, and thank you. πŸ’œ

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3 years ago

No worries Ami πŸ’œ

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3 years ago

πŸ’œ

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3 years ago

Lol. Parang ako lng..good in giving motivation to others..but can't motivate myself sometimes 🀣

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3 years ago

Laughing through the pain, ate. πŸ˜‚ Masakit na nakakatuwa na nakakainis!

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3 years ago

Don't spread yourself too thin, Michelle. Get a good rest tonight :) Tomorrow is a new day.

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3 years ago

I am actually not too thin, and not too fat, but I always see myself as the latter. 🀧

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3 years ago

Just take things slow, Mich. Tomorrow is another day and let's just hope it will be better than today

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3 years ago

Aww.. Yes, you're right. Thanks a lot John. β™₯️

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3 years ago

You are always welcome 😊

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3 years ago