The other day, I come across a Facebook post saying that "Your Children are not your Retirement Fund."
("You will lift us out of poverty.")
I paused for a second and thought that I couldn't agree more with this statement.
You probably may be thinking that having this kind of mindset is being a little disrespectful and ungrateful towards the people who brought you into this world, who took care of you from the day you were born until you were able to find a good-paying job that could suffice your needs and wants already.
But I think that it's toxic to think that way because that's not how it is.
Elon Musk once said in an interview,
"My children didn’t choose to be born. I chose to have children. They owe me nothing, I owe them everything.”
Parents wanted to have their own fruits of love that's why they did what they did. And it is their responsibility and obligation to feed them, clothe them, give them a shelter, give them proper education, and provide them the things they need and want because they choose to have them.
And even if some would say that they didn't plan to have one, they should have been aware and knowledgeable enough that if they do something in bed, it will probably lead to pregnancy.
Children doesn't owe anything to their parents and it is true because whatever they are giving and doing for us, it is a part of their responsibility as parents. Some children also never wanted to be born in the first place.
In the Philippines and even to other family households from foreign countries, it has become a part of the culture where the children are expected to provide the needs and wants of their parents and other younger siblings after they graduate from college and find sources of income.
Why? Because it's payback time. It's time to repay the sacrifices of the parents for doing exactly what they needed to do in raising the children they made. It's as if you are now going to pay the debt of gratitude that you will keep paying for until the day you die. You become a bank that will keep giving money, even if you don't have it or you don't want to, because it is in your destiny since you were born to become a retirement fund of your parents. Because if you don't work and provide for their needs and wants, the society, and even the parents, would think that they raised an ungrateful child.
And I beg to disagree because, again, you owe nothing to your parents. You were born not because you wanted to, but because they wanted to.
Children shouldn't be treated as a retirement fund because they have their own lives and own future to think of too. Soon enough, they will have their own families and own kids to take good care of, which will give them bigger expenses.
Instead, parents should also prepare for their own retirement fund so they can live their lives without any worries if their children won't be able to provide for their needs, or if they will continue giving them money for their needs or not.
However, it is not the same case to other parents as some were really just trying to live life making both ends meet. And children in these families don't just need to double their hard work, but they need to exert triple effort for their parents, for their present selves, and for their future.
Yes, children should not become the retirement fund of their parents, and they should not be obliged to pay back all of the sacrifices they gave while raising them, or even hold the responsibilities they did against their children. However, it is greatly appreciated if children will take good care of their parents like how they did to them when they were still younger. Children should not feel obliged to pay back to their parents and shouldn't seem like their neck is being entangled.
It is natural for children to love their parents and giving back to them is just easy if they will do it from the heart.
I am not yet a parent and is not planning to be one in the distant future (Oh come on, let me find a boyfriend first. Hahaha!), but I want to end this toxic cycle with me. I don't want my future children to feel burdened as if I will only raise them to become my retirement fund once I get old and have saggy skin.
I want my future children to work hard and enjoy the fruits of their labors the way they want to. If they will give back to me, thank you so much. But if they will choose to keep it to themselves, I will totally understand.
If you are a parent already or is planning to have a child soon, please don't take this article against me. I'm just trying to express my thoughts about this matter and I hope you learned a thing or two.
Thank you for reading!
Well !ay !ga ganyan talagang parents, they think that if my child finished her/ his study then he will pay for what I've done. Like what? To pay? So what you have done, is my huge debt from you? Your right tou know, I don't agree also saying that you will lift us out of poverty. Ahhh a good and educated parents willnever tell that to their children. Nono!