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Who is to Blame: The cheating husband or the mistress?

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Written by   104
3 months ago

I am married to my husband. But my husband is cheating on me.

Whose fault is it?

Who's to blame?

The mistress? Or my husband?

Maybe some will say that it is the mistress's fault. Because she's a whore, a slut, a snake, a b*tch, a prostitute, f*ck buddy, pathetic, nasty, desperate, shameless, a lady with no decency, and other harsh descriptions.

Photo from Esme.com

In my point of view, my husband is the one to blame. It is his fault in the very first place.

Why? Cause my husband is the one who signed a marriage contract.

The husband is the one who made vows in front of the altar.

He's the one who promised that we will cherish and love each other for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, 'til death do us part.

He is the one who pledged himself to me.

While the mistress? She didn't promise anything.

If there is a situation wherein a woman is showing interest in my husband... from the very beginning, my husband is given a choice whether to accept or avoid the temptation. He has the free-will. It is only either to accept or avoid, nothing in between and no maybes.

If he second guesses, that means he is accepting the temptation.

If he hesitates, that means he's not completely committed to our relationship.

Growing up, I have watched several Filipino movies already that have a storyline that revolves around the husband and wife, and the mistress. Once the wife finds out that her husband is cheating and has a mistress, her anger is mostly focused on the mistress. The wife will most likely confront the mistress first rather than her husband.

I always wonder, why is that so?

Here are some iconic legal wives and mistresses scenes in Filipino dramas:

Mag-kunwari tayong nasa show mo. Pero ako ang host, ikaw ang guest. Ang title ng show, "Ikapitong Utos: Wag kang Makikiapid". May isang tanong lang ako sayo. Prangkahin mo sana ako. May relasyon ba kayo ng asawa ko?

Relasyon?

Relasyon. Kirida, kabet, number two, mistress. Relasyon.

Terry!

Wag mo 'kong ma Terry Terry! Yung tanong ko ang sagutin mo! Are you f*cking my husband?

Minsan!

Walang sayo, Nicole! Akin lang ang asawa ko!

Layuan mo ang asawa ko.

Pa'no kung ang asawa mo ang ayaw lumayo?

Edi malandi ka.

Things the 3 have in common:

  1. The wives confront the mistresses first instead of talking it out to their husbands.

  2. The wives put up most of their anger towards the mistresses instead of their husbands.

  3. The wives ask and please the mistresses to stay away from their husbands.

Watching these scenes on television... I always see myself disagreeing to it all.

In my case, I have had intuition for a month already that my husband is seeing someone else and is cheating in our relationship. After I confirmed it and knew about his side chick, I immediately confronted him about it. Good thing, he was honest and admitted it right away. We talked about it for a while.

I told him how angry I am towards him cause all my life I’ve known him to be such a great man.

I told him how disappointed I am with his actions.

I told him how I can’t bear to see him everyday in our house.

I told him how I can’t stomach sleeping beside him at night knowing that he’s been sleeping with another.

I stated all my frustrations toward him.

He apologized. He’s sorry. All over and over.

He said that he stopped what’s happening between them a week ago. He said that he regrets it so much and that he will never do it again. He said that I am the one who he truly loves.

But I know for a fact that apologies and sorrys won’t fix anything. Words aren’t enough for me.

“What should I do so you could forgive me? Please?”

I told him that we shouldn’t sleep in the same room anymore until I forgive him. And that he shouldn’t expect that we’ll have good interactions like we used to before until I forgive him.

He needs to earn my trust again.

Currently, it’s been two weeks already after that conversation. Until now, he sleeps in the guest room while I sleep in our master bedroom. I also noticed that he frequently does romantic things again. He makes me breakfast and coffee every morning, he brings me my favorite flowers, he cooks my favorite foods, and the likes. 

This morning right after I woke up, he left a letter on my bedside table. In that letter, he told me how he regretted everything that he did towards me and that I don’t deserve to experience it. He was very sorry and felt so bad. He told me how he missed me every single day. He told me that he’s willing to put in the effort to earn my trust again.


To everyone who’s reading this, please never attempt to cheat on your loved one. Always remember that cheating won’t do you any good and in the end, you will face the consequences.

“Trust is the easiest thing in the world to lose, and the hardest thing in the world to get back.”


This is my entry to the Writing Prompt #6: Cheating of ma’am @JonicaBradley . If you want to make an entry as well, check out her article about it or simply read the rules below for the writing prompt:

  1. Write about cheating

  2. Write 100% original content

  3. Write at least 600 words

  4. Tag @JonicaBradley

  5. Have fun

P.S. I am currently a college student, no husband, not a wife, not married. And doesn't even have experience in relationships. Haha. The story I told was only based on my imagination and is fictional. This is actually the first short fictional story that I wrote here. Sorry if it wasn’t good enough.

Hope you learned something through this story.

Thanks for reading! ❤️


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Date Published: June 30, 2021

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Written by   104
3 months ago
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Comments

Wow i thought its your life story at first. Ang galing nyo po gumawa ng fictional story and its your first pa ah. To answer your question, the husband is the one you should blame kase in the first place di dapat sya nag padala sa temptation if he turly loves you and value your marriage.

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3 months ago

Exactly my point. Thanks for the compliment also :)

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3 months ago

As for me, ang husband po. Kasi kung talagang mahal ka niya, at ikaw lang para sa kanya, hindi magagawang ipagpalit ka sa iba.

I was once a cheater, pero sa kadahilan din na yung partner ko unang nagpakita nang motibo na dapat magloko na din ako. Alam ko mali yun, kaya di ko na inulit talaga..😅

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3 months ago

Same tayo. Husband din talaga sisisihin ko.

Why? Did your partner cheated on you first?

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3 months ago

Yung ex ko dati..

Pero sa current ko ngayon, ewan sis, nuon kasing time na nagkalabuan kami, hindi niya inamin sa'kin yung totoo..😶

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3 months ago

For me the husband, kase kung loyal sya hindi sya magkakaroon ng mistress, minsan mga lalaki sasabihin single kaya si mistress niloko din...hehe hindi kuntento

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3 months ago

Exactly. Para sa ina, both. If both naman, mas matimbang parin para sakin na kasalanan ng husband talaga. Haha.

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3 months ago

pwede sumali ate?

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3 months ago

saan po? 😂

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3 months ago

hahaaha akala ko totoo pero para sa akin...both party is to blame the husband and the mistress both of them have faults... and yes trust is the hardest to earn yet easy to lose that's why one should always think a thousand times before doing something.

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3 months ago

Exactly.

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3 months ago

Although the story is fiction but it's a story of every other husband. But at the end wife should have forgive to husband in the above case. 😍

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3 months ago

Yes, the wife can forgive the husband. But the trust of the wife will never be the same anymore.

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3 months ago

True

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3 months ago

Akala ko totoo hahaha. Di koidedefend lahi ng kalalakihan about jan kase at the first place, making mali tlaga na makiapid sa iba lalo na kung may kinakasama na. Tingin ko lahat naman nagkakamali and everyone deserves a second chance, oo mapapatawad pero yung dating closure at saya, wala na nasira na.

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3 months ago

It's not only to men, it's applicable to any gender who started to cheat on their partner. It will really cause trust issues and self doubt also.

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3 months ago

kapag natukso na tlaga, di na tlaga natin naiisip magiging kalabasan. Parang pagkain lng, ang galing mang akit.🤣🤣

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3 months ago

I really thought its your story and I remembered that you said before that you are still a student. Good thing, I read up to the end part. As married one, I will say both, because both of them choose to do it anyway.

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3 months ago

You have a point also. 💯

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3 months ago

Infidelity really is a tricky one. In this particular scenario, some people will say the mistress is at fault. Some will say it's the husband, amd others may also hold you accountable. It depends on who you ask. It's very subjective and will be different depending on each person's values.

Kumplikado na nga ang relasyon ng dalawang tao, gagawin la nilang tatlo, edi mas magulo. Hahah

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3 months ago

Nice. It's a matter of different perspective.

True 💯

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3 months ago

Hahha yeeep yeep. :) that's what makes the world beautiful

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3 months ago

Both po para saakin pero mas una ko talaga kakatayin asawa ko bago kabit haha. Kasi po kahit pa may makati sa tabi tabi kung di sya patutukso walang kabitang mangyayari. Kaya ayun, sila dalawa pilipitin ko talaga haha

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3 months ago

Same. Yung asawa ko din uunahin ko (akala mo naman talaga meron haha). Pero di ko sure sa kabit na part, wala akong energy para sa ahas 😬

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3 months ago

Hahahaa matatakutin ka pala sa ahas sis? Ako matatakutin pero pag ganyang ahas baka lumabas din sungay ko ehh haha.

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3 months ago

Di naman sa matatakutin. Ayaw ko lang talaga makahawak ng ahas. Hindi worth it. Bawal madungisan ang kamay ko. Hahaha.

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3 months ago

Haha joke lng namn yung katayin sis hahaha. Pero tama, iwan nlng kumbaga kahit masakit total mawawala namn ang sakit after basta na sakin ang anak. Ganern haha

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3 months ago

They both at fault 😆 malalanding nilalang 😆mahaharot, kinulang sa aruga 😅

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3 months ago

Why naman kasi ganun. 😆

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3 months ago