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Who is to Blame: The cheating husband or the mistress?
I am married to my husband. But my husband is cheating on me.
Whose fault is it?
Who's to blame?
The mistress? Or my husband?
Maybe some will say that it is the mistress's fault. Because she's a whore, a slut, a snake, a b*tch, a prostitute, f*ck buddy, pathetic, nasty, desperate, shameless, a lady with no decency, and other harsh descriptions.
In my point of view, my husband is the one to blame. It is his fault in the very first place.
Why? Cause my husband is the one who signed a marriage contract.
The husband is the one who made vows in front of the altar.
He's the one who promised that we will cherish and love each other for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, 'til death do us part.
He is the one who pledged himself to me.
While the mistress? She didn't promise anything.
If there is a situation wherein a woman is showing interest in my husband... from the very beginning, my husband is given a choice whether to accept or avoid the temptation. He has the free-will. It is only either to accept or avoid, nothing in between and no maybes.
If he second guesses, that means he is accepting the temptation.
If he hesitates, that means he's not completely committed to our relationship.
Growing up, I have watched several Filipino movies already that have a storyline that revolves around the husband and wife, and the mistress. Once the wife finds out that her husband is cheating and has a mistress, her anger is mostly focused on the mistress. The wife will most likely confront the mistress first rather than her husband.
I always wonder, why is that so?
Here are some iconic legal wives and mistresses scenes in Filipino dramas:
Mag-kunwari tayong nasa show mo. Pero ako ang host, ikaw ang guest. Ang title ng show, "Ikapitong Utos: Wag kang Makikiapid". May isang tanong lang ako sayo. Prangkahin mo sana ako. May relasyon ba kayo ng asawa ko?
Relasyon. Kirida, kabet, number two, mistress. Relasyon.
Wag mo 'kong ma Terry Terry! Yung tanong ko ang sagutin mo! Are you f*cking my husband?
The wives confront the mistresses first instead of talking it out to their husbands.
The wives put up most of their anger towards the mistresses instead of their husbands.
The wives ask and please the mistresses to stay away from their husbands.
Watching these scenes on television... I always see myself disagreeing to it all.
In my case, I have had intuition for a month already that my husband is seeing someone else and is cheating in our relationship. After I confirmed it and knew about his side chick, I immediately confronted him about it. Good thing, he was honest and admitted it right away. We talked about it for a while.
I told him how angry I am towards him cause all my life I’ve known him to be such a great man.
I told him how disappointed I am with his actions.
I told him how I can’t bear to see him everyday in our house.
I told him how I can’t stomach sleeping beside him at night knowing that he’s been sleeping with another.
I stated all my frustrations toward him.
He apologized. He’s sorry. All over and over.
He said that he stopped what’s happening between them a week ago. He said that he regrets it so much and that he will never do it again. He said that I am the one who he truly loves.
But I know for a fact that apologies and sorrys won’t fix anything. Words aren’t enough for me.
“What should I do so you could forgive me? Please?”
I told him that we shouldn’t sleep in the same room anymore until I forgive him. And that he shouldn’t expect that we’ll have good interactions like we used to before until I forgive him.
Currently, it’s been two weeks already after that conversation. Until now, he sleeps in the guest room while I sleep in our master bedroom. I also noticed that he frequently does romantic things again. He makes me breakfast and coffee every morning, he brings me my favorite flowers, he cooks my favorite foods, and the likes.
This morning right after I woke up, he left a letter on my bedside table. In that letter, he told me how he regretted everything that he did towards me and that I don’t deserve to experience it. He was very sorry and felt so bad. He told me how he missed me every single day. He told me that he’s willing to put in the effort to earn my trust again.
To everyone who’s reading this, please never attempt to cheat on your loved one. Always remember that cheating won’t do you any good and in the end, you will face the consequences.
P.S. I am currently a college student, no husband, not a wife, not married. And doesn't even have experience in relationships. Haha. The story I told was only based on my imagination and is fictional. This is actually the first short fictional story that I wrote here. Sorry if it wasn’t good enough.