@Corpsekunno 20 October 2021

Listen Before I Go

**October 20, 2021** "I wanna see the world when I stop breathing, turning blue." There's a demon living inside my head He screamed at me, he wants me dead He tells me stories that was a lie He is messing with my head most of the time I stay up late at night cause he never want me to sleep He whispered to me "cut your arms to bleed" I closed my eyes as tears running down my cheek I ignored what he said and I went on to sleep When morning came, he made my day even more miserable again It didn't stop as it told me to stab myself with a pen I look at myself in the mirror and he was watching near He laughed as he said "you're ugly, useless and stupid" loud and clear I begun to hate the things I loved mostly Growing apart from everyone but I tried to smile nicely No one notice the tears and the fake smile So everyone thought I'm just fine I tried to scream and asked for help But no one came cause I'm all alone by myself. I stopped socialising and keep it all to myself Cause no one else can see the devil except for myself The jar begun to fill and I can't hold it any longer Feels like no one else cares so I go up a little higher I can see the buildings up here And small people are so busy down there I screamed "I love you mom and dad" as loudly as I could Hear me calling your name once more And I hope you heard, and listened before I go. Healing is a really difficult process. When a member of my family said or did something that upset me, my tolerance and wrath levels were tested on multiple times, and one time I couldn't help but become furious and say something I knew I would later regret. When the event was over, I felt terrible and wished I hadn't reacted in that way or said what I did. But then I recalled that I'm still healing and that I'll be tested throughout this time. At the very least, I told myself, I'm learning to control and discipline myself so I don't get provoked again. I basically pushed myself to be more persistent about not allowing someone to have such a negative impact on me. I worked on staying calm. I'm usually a calm person, but when someone tries to bring out the worst in me in order to provoke a reaction, I know how to react. But I don't want to live my life on the edge, waiting for the next member of my family to upset me by doing something stupid. I convinced myself that I deserved a better life. Because I grew up with a lot of contradictory emotions and didn't have a suitable outlet for them, I chose to mend my sentiments on the inside. I made the choice that I would never further harm myself, my family, or even my own tiny family/kids. I don't want my toxic features, which I received as a kid from my relatives, to have an influence on my life and future. As an outcome, I've been able to rest. And getting back on your feet is never simple. You will make mistakes on occasion, but don't be too harsh on yourself. Making errors is something we all do. Just keep going on your path to healing. You can do it. You are deserving of a better life, but you must first work on improving yourself. Short Closing Inspiring Thoughts Always keep in mind that ; When there's nothing left, hope is what keeps you alive. --- Image Source https://i1.wp.com/itanile.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/6026bb7280c886fc4c022a7f47837425.jpg?fit=467%2C700&ssl=1 Date: October 20, 2021 Author: Corpsekkuno Title: Listen Before I Go Article No.: 68

Sponsors/Supporters https://read.cash/@Corpsekunno/upgrading-my-pc-from-windows-7-to-windows-10-for-free-d7088cda#sponsorssupporters `Take a look at my amazing, kind, and generous sponsors. Check them out since they create excellent and relevant content for you to read. If you go down to my comment area, you will also see my wonderful supporters.♥️✨` `They are my cyber pals.♥️` --- **Author’s Note** Hello! Corpsekkuno here! I just want to let you know that everything is fine and I'm only writing those stuff that I've been keeping on my mind. Thank you so much for taking your time to read this; I appreciate your effort and I hope you enjoy.  If you're interested in reading more, here's a list of suggestions: **Upgrading my PC from Windows 7 to Windows 10 for FREE** https://read.cash/@Corpsekunno/upgrading-my-pc-from-windows-7-to-windows-10-for-free-d7088cda ****When We All Fall Asleep, Were Do We Go?**** https://read.cash/@Corpsekunno/when-we-all-fall-asleep-were-do-we-go-481b10f1 ****1st Grade: SCAM that Caused My TRAUMA**** https://read.cash/@Corpsekunno/1st-grade-scam-that-caused-my-trauma-94c69617 ****My Brain Disease**** https://read.cash/@Corpsekunno/my-brain-disease-cddb98a5 ****TYSSIG: Things You Should’ve Said Instead of Ghosting**** https://read.cash/@Corpsekunno/tyssig-things-you-shouldve-said-instead-of-ghosting-a18cabad ****My 0.86 BCH Journey: Road to 1 BC**** https://read.cash/@Corpsekunno/my-086-bch-journey-road-to-1-bch-16efa0c1