At the time, I didn't know what to do with the information I'd been given. It was nonsense, and not useful in the slightest to a young child. I disregarded it pretty quickly, if I'm honest at least, I thought that I did.. I suppose it stuck with me in ways I didn't fully realize into very recently.
I never bottled up my emotions, not once. The words "I'm fine" never stung my throat through painful, hidden tears. I would answer any question thrown at me by my peers, no matter how long the answer maybe, or how little I knew they cared.
I was just a child when I was told, I remember it as clear as day. Somebody once told me that the world was going to kill me. A man, I think I supposed it could have been a woman. I don't know, you see, because I didn't pay attention. From the voice.. If I'm correct.. I'd say it was actually a woman. She sat me down on a bench at the park.
"The world is going to kill you. It will convince you that seawater resides in your lungs. Whisper that flowers grow in your veins. Say that your brain is where the jungle trees grow." She was calm, looking up at the sky. "You shouldn't believe this lies. The hair on your head is not made of fire. Your irises aren't fools. Your breath isn't a song. The world is a lier, and you should drown it all out."
I looked away then, I didn't understand what she was telling me, and she wasn't my adult. Thinking about it, I didn't see my adult again after that day.
"The world will try to convince you that you're something special so they can snuff you out and make you fall in line. Do not let it. Rise up above the screaming that everyone else ignores and force yourself to be heard"
"Then she simply got up, and walked away. Again, I say "she"... I still don't actually know. I think she "sounds" safer.
I don't remember much before that in terms of my childhood. I was nine, I think when she spoke to me, so I should have at Least some memories. But nothing major surfaces. A few blurry face at some form of a school. A false recollection of stories someone else told me. And a day out at the park with that lady. I supposed that's normal. I'm not sure, I don't tend to us about memories, they can be far too powerful.
I supposed that's why no one asks me questions, anymore either, I always no just a little too much.
People are far too easy to bruise, anyhow. You say a single word out of place and suddenly you're the bad guy. It wasn't my damn fault that I was right about Mark's mum and dad. It was obvious, the divorce was imminent. I don't understand how everyone was so blind to that fact.
I predicted a lot. Privately, mostly because no one wanted to know. But I knew, I knew about fires, breakups, breakdowns, lives both ending and beginning. My guardian put it down to 'being an observant child'. I put that definition down to his fear of me. I miss him.
At the age of 13, I was sent to psychiatrist. Oh, girl... That went well.
Author's note :
Good day! Sorry for being inactive in some busy days. 😁 I'll make bawi this week. Haha. I hope you like this article as you like my previous ones😘 thank you very much to all sponsors of mine. ❤
Your articles brings different effects to anyone who read it. It will go along with what a person feels at that very moment. I've experienced it. About the world killing me.