@Burnok 10 July 2021

One more Bliss

The sky was grey again, and it looked like it will rain. I did not bring an umbrella so that I could feel the rain pouring down my skin. Besides, I want to cry once more. And the rain is such a great cover up. I feel bad because he lied. It is unfair because he never opened up to me. He never told me about his real struggles in life. Trying to tell him all about me, hoping that the complete trust I am giving will urge him to trust me too did not work, and the thing that happened is something I can't accept. When the teacher said that he died the next day, I really can't sleep. I spend the whole night crying because I am not there when he needed me. It is painful because I did not have the chance to tell him everything, especially the love I feel for him. I just woke up one day where it is him whom I want to see first thing in the morning. His scent, his sweet scent, is what I wanted to smell. But it went impossible in just a snap of a finger because he is gone. All these things will just happen only in my dreams now. For me to have peace of mind and be able to move on, my parents decided to move to another place. I got my whole life reset: new faces, new environment, new experiences, and many more new things. One day, while I am at the park, I saw a guy reading a book entitled Thirteen Reasons Why. Some old memories came back, and I can't help but cry. All this time I was lying to myself that I did not miss him. Now, I can't stop the tears flowing down my eyes. I ran immediately towards him and hugged him so tight. I smell the same scent. This is the moment I have been longing for so long. I know it seems impossible, but I just do not want to let this moment brushed off. I just released my arms when he started speaking. The same voice is what I hear. "Carla?" "Gil?" We said simultaneously. Only one thing is what I feel right at that very moment. It is happiness, and this feeling is already enough for me. I asked him how it's even possible. I told him everything, even those times where I visit his grave. He told everything. He said he really died, but after a few seconds, his heartbeats come back. He said he is not the one in the grave. I was confused because his name was there. For me to get relieved, we went there. I immediately read the name in it when we got there. It says, "Gil Ruiz." Then I remembered his whole name. He is Gil Ruiz Cruz. Does it mean I am just fooling myself all this time? Why is that so? All of a sudden, I cried again. I have mixed emotions. I am crying because of tears of joy. This moment has never been this perfect. All my worries were removed now. I smiled at him, and this time I confessed my love for him. If you have read the original story, you may have noticed that the ending was changed. More flavors were added, and I hope it makes more drama.

He said that he already knew it for a long time. I asked him how, but I did not get a reply. I hugged him once more because I don't want the moment to stop. Then he slowly vanish, *again*. The moment I opened my eyes, I knew that it was just a dream. No matter how it seems real, it was just a dream, and I cannot change that fact. Maybe, he just let me feel happy to ease the heaviness I feel deep within. Maybe he wanted me to move on and bring back the liveliness in my life that has been melodramatic for so long since the day he vanished. That day, I went to his grave and reminisced about my dream a while ago for one more time. The dream has given me one more bliss with him. And now, I am ready. I can finally set him free. I know that I should have done it long ago. Maybe, I am not just ready to let him go at that time. But now, I can finally move on. No matter where he is right now, he will still be here in my mind and in my heart. Are you new to my profile? If you do not know me yet, I am Burnok, your friendly neighbor who loves writing things like this and like that. Here are some of my articles, which you may want to read too. ****Why I Love Writing**** https://read.cash/@Burnok/why-i-love-writing-900ea5bb ****A Morning Routine**** https://read.cash/@Burnok/a-morning-routine-ef9c9d59 ****Don't Make More Reasons: Start Doing Actions**** https://read.cash/@Burnok/dont-make-more-reasons-start-doing-actions-d125876f ****Let's talk about an education that is not being talked about most of the time**** https://read.cash/@Burnok/lets-talk-about-an-education-that-is-not-being-talked-about-most-of-the-time-6aceda74 ****To Love and To Grow: Rizal’s Life**** https://read.cash/@Burnok/to-love-and-to-grow-rizals-life-e2a0aa42 ****Blog of the the Day: Hope of the Motherland**** https://read.cash/@Burnok/blog-of-the-the-day-hope-of-the-motherland-ac3c7f12 ****Nothing Worthy Comes Easy**** https://read.cash/@Burnok/nothing-worthy-comes-easy-07434d17 ****The Art of Procrastination: Are you a Procrastinator?**** https://read.cash/@Burnok/the-art-of-procrastination-are-you-a-procrastinator-60c62343 ****Momentary Bliss**** https://read.cash/@Burnok/momentary-bliss-665210da **Present Technology** https://read.cash/@Burnok/present-technology-669ad3ab