When the job comes with alot of risks
Well, I have always been afraid of heights. Even as a kid, during breaks,I never had much fun with the slides in our school compound because it looked quite intimidating in my little mind . Our school was actually a three storey affair, but I'd always play and run around the ground floor close to my classroom block instead of running up and down the stairs with other little girls of my age.
**Image Source** https://images.app.goo.gl/44zixtvZphfgh9N89
To me, it has always been an awe-inspiring sight to behold a man on top of a ladder trying to fix an electric fault on an electricity tower. Also, watching a carpenter at a construction site doing his best to connect roofing materials atop of house while standing on an attenuated piece of wood makes me shiver.
Each time he raises a hammer and clamps down a nail into a wood repeat, my heart always give a little lurch and it continues to thump faster and faster with every strike he makes against the woodwork. Watching his body movements as he works in such a precarious position, I'd silently begin to pray to God that he doesn't fall off. I would try to close my eyes for some moments and only open them again when the sounds of the striking hammer eventually ceases.
As the carpenter climbs down the ladder, I'd breathe a sigh of relief thinking it's all over. "Thank God he is done with the work already!, I would exclaim. Only for me to be more disappointed when he later mounts the ladder again after he had already picked whatever piece of equipment from the ground he would be needing to continue his work.
Seeing me in such a dramatic state, dad would laugh out loud and make fun of me. "But what if he falls done and get seriously hurt? He could be someone else dad too" I'd scream at dad in a voice laddened with fear and agony.
Dad would again laugh at me before he replies. "Bilqees, my dear, he would never fall down because he's a professional. He has already conquered the fear of heights and he's able to maintain his balance even when he's on the tightest spot on the highest parts of a tower. He could even take a meal in such a position". Dad laughed again.
This explanation was convincing enough, but I didn't accept it entirely. Afterall, we are all humans who ain't perfect. Even doctors make mistakes sometimes. God forbid that this family man misses a step and slips or a wood breaks under his weight. I tried my best to shake off such unpleasant thoughts.
**Thank** **you 🙏**
Sometimes, I can't help but wonder and feel bad at the kind of risky jobs that some men engage in just to be able to earn enough to pay the bills and feed their family.
**Image Source** https://www.nairaland.com/3268846/safety-workplaces-how-ensure
Just recently, I heard the sad story about a young man who died on the job. He was actually an engineer working at an electrical installation when he was suddenly electrocuted. As a result of the shock, he fell from a great height and his head made several impacts with steel bars before he crashed horribly on the hard floor.
What's more sorrowful is that a date for his wedding had already been fixed. It was also said that his fiance was never comfortable with the nature of his job due to it's high risks. She had just only succeeded in persuading him to resign from the job after trying for a long time. He promised her that he would look for another job as soon as they got married. Then this happened.....
I can only but imagine how bad the young woman could be feeling right now.
Sometimes ago, I also heard about a worker who fell from an electric pole and fractured his spine. Before the accident, he had always been the best man for the job. He'd always be at his company's Beck and call anytime they needed him to undertake a very familiar assignment.
But after the incident,he was abandoned by his company after they had settled his first medical bills. The young man is now left under the care of an aged mother who attends to him since he had lost most of his bodily functions after the accident. He would be needing a major surgery before he would ever be able to walk again.
*******************************
So sorry I couldn't put up an article yesterday, I had a little problem. I would definitely do my best to go through all of your articles before retiring .
Thank you for staying with me ♥️ ♥️♥️
Wedding attires
Similar to what happens in the western world where the members of a bridal train all dress in matching gowns, in my region, the bride's party also turn out in matching and colorful attire on her wedding day.
Weeks before the wedding date, the bride-to-be selects a specific clothing material that would be sewn into dresses that are to be worn by her sisters, friends and colleagues on the day of the ceremony. Everyone of these women would have to buy and sew the selected clothing materials with their own money.
This practice is very common among young women in honor of thier friend on her wedding day. Most men don't bother about such matters.
So, let's say if six of your friends are getting married this year, you would have to buy and make six different dresses that you would wear on each of the various wedding dates. Depending on the quality, the cost of some of these clothing materials can be quite exorbitant or sometimes cheap. The more beautiful the clothing looks, the higher their price.
Although, some reasonable brides might want to consider the financial burden involved and would simply ask her friends to pick a clothing material that they could comfortably afford, since all fingers are not equal.
But sometimes, a bride-to-be would want to choose a brightly colored clothing material which would add to the brilliance of her wedding ceremony . Such materials could be very expensive you know.
The cost of such materials for making the dresses could be as high as 15 to 30 dollars. The more quality materials could cost more. No matter how much these clothing materials might cost, you just have to buy, after which you'd take it to a tailor that would help you make a dress out of them. You also have to pay the tailor for his service ofcourse.
In most cases, if you know the bride personally or you are part of her inner circle of friends, it is preferable you don't attend her wedding at all than for you to appear in a different attire. You wouldn't be comfortable looking odd from the rest of the pack, would you?
And you know when the bride notice your absence especially when it's time to take pictures, she might smell envy and begin to think you blatantly refused to come to her wedding. Your relationship between you and that friend might not be thesame again.
Revealing that the reason why you couldn't attend the ceremony was because you couldn't afford to buy the dress might be quite unbelievable. Afterall, you definitely have a boyfriend or a husband that could take care of your bills. Lol, well I think that true.
I could remember whenever I requested money from dad to purchase these wedding clothes, he'd scream at me as soon as he hears their outrageous cost.
"Fifty dollars, just for a wedding attire ?! Are you the one getting married or your friend? What is wrong with you kids of nowadays, you think I pick money from trees? That money is enough to settle half your tuition fee. Infact I don't have money for frivolities......" blablabla. Dad would go on like that for few minutes while I look at him with a tired and bored expression on my face. Finally he gets tired of ranting and raises both hands in an exasperating manner.
At this point, he finally manages to meet my eyes and orders me to go get his briefcase from his bedside. From the bag, he brings out a bundle of currency notes. As soon as he begins counting, with a frown on his face, ready to give me the sum I had requested, I'd pretend to look at another direction, but of course I'm mentally counting too.
As soon as I have collected the money from him, he'd launch into another series of vociferation and I'd interrupt him by yelling a " thank you" while jumping towards the door. Dad would still grumble " Let this be the last time that you'd be asking me money for any stupid wedding attire". But dad already knows that I would come to him again for money for a new wedding attire in the nearest future. And he also knows that I Know that he wouldn't be able to refuse me each time I came.
*******************************
Thank you for staying with me ♥️
"Womb- watchers"
Due to cultural inclinations, most people in my continents especially the elderly and middle aged are of the belief that marriage is largely because of the purpose of parentage rather than of love and affection. Having children that would inherit you and represent you on earth when you're no more is considered as the most important achievement in a typical african marriage.
**Thank** **you 🙏**
Alot of folks expects that as soon as a couple are pronounced man and wife, then children should better start coming out of the union, at most two years after the wedding. If this does not happen, they'd definitely be regarded with jaundiced eyes by virtually every one around them, and a whispering campaign could keep covering grounds as time goes.
But the times have really changed you know. In this twenty first century, a young couple, might decide to take time to strategize and workout the future of their marriage first before they start bringing children to the world.
No doubt, childbirth brings happiness and contentment and every woman would love to have at least an experience. Sometimes it might not come as quickly as expected to some couples even if they had been trying to make it happen for a while.
This might lead their marriage to be under serious strain by outsiders who never cease talking about them
" The next time I come visiting, I would really loved to be greeted by the screams of "Grandma! grandma! " from my little grandchildren". An impatient and worried mother would say to her son and daughter-in-law, either jokingly or with a stern face before storming out of the house.
Sometimes her visits to the young couples might turn unexpected and she'd explain to them that she was on her way back from a nearby destination then she decided to stop by at their house to say hi. Ofcourse, this might not be true, her reason for might just be to observe if the young woman have started developing a protruding tummy. Heck, some mother-in-laws can tell when a woman is pregnant, even if it's just a day old just by physically observing her.
This constant bother might cause a married young woman great discomfort as she'd be made to feel as if she was deliberately evading pregnancy. To make matters worse, she'd always imagine what is always been said about her childlessness whenever her husband and his mom are having a private discussion.
Other mother in-laws might exercise some level of patience by leaving the couples alone till it's exactly nine months after the wedding. Then they would suddenly come out of the blue and start screaming at the couples about why she hadn't yet been invited for her grandchild's naming ceremony.
Some might even suspect that the reason why their daughter in-law hasn't yet conceive was probably because she had done series of abortions in the past which might have affected or cause such a delay in her ability to conceive. Even though several fertility tests and diagnosis have proven that there's absolutely nothing wrong with either of the two couples.
Most times, the husband might not seem as bothered as the wife since he might be very busy at the job. And ofcourse a man definitely doesn't display emotions as easily as a woman. He'd always be the one to calm his wife and also promises that everything would be alright. By the way, the attention of family members, friends, neighbors and "well wishers" are mostly being focused on the woman. Maybe because she's always at home and also the one who would carry children in her womb.
One day, a "concerned" mother-in-law might come along with a native medicine which she'd claim would facilitate quick pregnancy. Then she'd make sure that the young woman understands and adhere strictly to the instructions of it's usage .
Few months into the marriage , some close friends of the lady might ask her every now and then in a playful, or serious manner ( even though they are aware it would hurt) about the reason why she hadn't got pregnant yet. Such kind nof questions are mostly ask by friends who are still single. Because I don't think a fellow married woman would be so insensitive since she also knows and understand how these things are.
I know of a young woman, who after getting married took only seven months before she could get pregnant but the constant subtle and direct babbles from outsiders made it seem as if she had been married for many years without an issue.
That's how our people are. They have this inherent albeit repulsive attitude of poke nosing into others affair. When a girl of marriageable age is still unmarried, they keep wondering and even asking " why are you not married yet when your mates are already in their husband's house". And when she eventually gets a man, they'd never stop asking why she's yet to have child even when the marriage is barely two year. Even when she and her husband decides to wait a little longer after the first birth, people would still ask if something had suddenly gone wrong in their reproductive ability . Urghhh!!
Sometimes, I can't help but wonder the emotional trauma that couples who had been married for a long time without children pass through in the hands of such malicious people.
Ultimately, children would definitely come when they would come. " God makes everything beautiful at the right time". It mostly end in joy and gratitude.
*******************************
Thank you for staying with.me ♥️♥️♥️
The jail house
I have seen quite a number of foreign movies and documentaries and I cant help but observe that the prisoners over there have the benefits of living in a more proper and efficient prison facility than what we have down here. They even have access to various recreational facility and get to enjoy some sources of entertainment from time to time.
Although, in my country, the name of such facility have longed been changed from "prison" to a "correctional facility", but trust me, there's absolutely nothing remedial about this hell hole. Honestly,I wouldn't even wish my enemy to spend a night in a typical prison yard in our territories.
Recently, I stumbled across some prison photos on social media . Looking at the inmates for a few minutes was enough to make me drop a tear. For a long time, I kept reflecting and asking my being if there was anything as priceless and valuable as one's freedom.
Saying thier living area is overcrowded is almost an understatement. the sight of a busy local market on a Christmas eve is even softer on the eyes than a typical prison cell where inmates are cramped up with little or no spaces between them.
I heard that when an inmates assumes a sleeping position at night, he'd remain in that posture till the following morning without changing sides as there's absolutely little or no space between inmates to turn around. I know that even in a flourishing poultry house,there are spaces for the birds to move and roam. Imagine the continual smearing between bare sweating bodies that have not been washed for weeks. Inmates are literally packed like sardines.
Sometimes, an inmate would die due to these harsh living conditions , possibly from a prolonged ailment or infection that had been neglected by the prison officials. Then he would be replaced by two or sometimes three new inmates in a small space whose carrying capacity is ten but already overcrowded by fifty inmates. No need to mention the very poor hygiene and high rates of disease transmission associated in such congested spaces. More like a concentration camp than a correctional facility.
What's worse is that some of these inmates haven't yet been convicted of whatever offence that they had been accused of. They were simply kicked into jail without proper trial and investigation by the authorities. And after series of adjournment and also complacency on the side of the law, their cases were been forgotten. Infact, some of them were erroneously accused and thrown into jail for a crime they might absolutely be innocent of.
We have heard stories on social media about former inmates that served long terms behind bars as a result unproven allegations ( e.g rape) , and were later released either by state pardon or after proper investigation had been carried out. This makes me wonder : Sometimes, it's not enough to stay away from troubles, it's more important to pray against falling into troubles.
Another sad thing is that some inmates had only engaged in minor crimes or insignificant misconducts that could be easily prevented by the government or the authorities. But they found themselves doing longer time like the hardened criminals.
Others might only have engaged in a crime just once, after a prolonged battle with a temptation too great to conquer. Consequently, this leads them to spending a long time behind bars in bitter regret and gnashing of teeth .
" It's the devil's work", these are about the most commonest words of a criminal pleading for leniency after he or she had been caught.
On the flipside, when you hear the horrible offences that some of these inmates had done before they were caught, I don't think one would have any empathy or emotions for them ( like the killers, rapists etc), you'd wish they continue to rot in jail since they inflict evil on the society. But then, that's not enough justification for them to be subjected to such awful living conditions. One can only feel sad for the good ones among them.
No need to mention that majority of the inmates are young men who could have great potentials and a bright future before being incarcerated either by a premeditated crime or by falling into it inadvertently.
For those of them that would eventually complete their sentences, I sometimes wonder how life would be to them after so many years behind bars. No doubt, some might turn a new leaf and be completed reformed by picking up the pieces from where they had left off . Strangely enough, some might become more hardened and develop a stronger resolve to be worse than their former selves especially when they had feel cheated.
*****************************
Thank you for staying with me ♥️ ♥️♥️
The child of a mentally challenged woman
Unlike some parts of the world where mentally retarded individuals are confined to a mental asylum and being care for. In my own territory, it's a common sight to behold the deranged roaming about in the open from time to time.
**Thank** **you** 🙏
The government had failed to make a law that would promote the rehabilitation of such citizens. By the way, they have often ignored the larger sane population, talkless of the insane.
Citizens who can afford to check a deranged loved one into a mental home are usually higher up in the social ladder. While other households that don't have the resources are left with no other option than to allow that particular family member to wander about and consequently, his/her situation gets worse.
Some years ago, when I was still in high school, there was this popular mad woman that I sometimes see roaming around at the market. No one thinks much about such people you know. But months later, I observed that she was pregnant! Infact It looked as if she had been pregnant for more then seven months.
It's quite unconcievable to imagine that a sane individual instead of having empathy on her got her pregnant . Well, who ever that person was, I seriously wanted to believe that he was a mentally challenged fellow too.
But what do I know? I have heard true stories of some evil ones who had committed more barbaric acts in order to fulfill a spiritual obligation. It could be in the form of an occultic duty required in order to replenish their wealth, accomplish a political aspiration or a business goal . Nigerians who are also reading this wouldn't be more surprised.
Whenever I make a visit to the market and had completed my purchases, I made deliberate movements from one portion of the market to the other, scanning through the thick crowd, in the hope of getting a glimpse of this mentally unstable but pregnant lady before going home.
And finally, I get to see her. she sits on the exposed roots of a tree, looking very dirty, tired, hungry, unloved and uncared for . Sometimes I can't help dropping a teae or two at such a heartbreaking sight.
Once in a while, a passer-by would toss a loaf of bread at her and immediately she d pick it up and ate with a very greedy mein. And as soon as she gains some strength, she'd pick her self up once again and with barefoots, she continues to roam about the market in this heavily pregnant state.
I can't but wonder how she feels being pregnant. Was she really aware of the pregnancy? Even if she is, does she realizes the importance and seriousness of her condition?
For God sake this lost soul needed all the help and attention she could get. The child in her needed it most. But it looked as if everyone was scared to come so close. A folk with instability could spontaneously turn violent you know.
In my parts of the world, it is believed that if a mad person sinks their teeth into one's skin, then one could also turn mad as quickly. Ofcourse, this is a silly myth which was only good for frightening kids. Maybe the people around just decided to ignore her since she wasn't part of their problem.
I also couldn't help but imagine that the man who got her pregnant might also be amongst the crowd. At themoment, he was probably joining the others in hauling invectives at the "man" responsible for this. Wonders they say, shall never end.
No need to mention that even the police wouldn't even bother about looking for the person who had taken advantage of the vulnerable woman.
Weeks later,I heard that she had a successful delivery at the market place and she was offered all the assistance and support that any other woman in labor would get. I also learnt that she gave birth to a baby girl and she was as lovely as any other newborn. Reminds me of some folks that travel abroad to enjoy the best medical facility just to have a similar baby.
Well, isn't God so wonderful? This was a woman that fed on rubbish, sometimes remained hungry for days. Spent her nights in the open, exposed to the ferocious cold, mosquitoes and rats. She never went for any hospital check-up they pregnant women usually go for through out the duration of their pregnancy. But she gave birth with little difficulties, and as quickly as possible.
A woman in the market whom I usually patronizled later revealed to me that this was not the first time she had been pregnant. She had already given birth three times in the past, in thesame mental condition. She said she won't be surprised if she sees her with another pregnancy anytime soon.
Out of curiosity, I asked about the whereabouts of her children and she immediately replied that she didn't know. No one knows who takes them away from her anytime they were born. It could be anybody from the father of the child, the woman's relatives or a good Samaritan.
*******************************
Thank you for staying with me ♥️♥️♥️
My ever loving and caring sis @Ling01. From the deepest parts of my heart, I say Thank you ! Blessings of the lord be upon you and yours always
Mariage Blanc
In other words, it is called an " arranged" marriage. As the name implies,it means when a young man marries a young woman in order to fulfill their family's wish of them marrying each other. The two families would have definitely known each other for a very long time in which alot of favors had been granted from both sides.
**Thank** **you. 🙏**
It might be that the heads of the two families were childhood friends or have business partners for a sometime. And now, they have finally decided to cement their relationship forever by uniting the two families through the marriage if their children.
In my parts of the country, the region where such a marriage is prevalent is the northern region, where I also live. In some families, a girl's parents might have already informed her about the man she'd get married to in the nearest future. He might be a cousin, a father's friend, a son to a father's friend or business partner who she must have known since she was a child. Sometimes, she might not even know who the person is until weeks before the wedding.
Due to the strong religious inclinations of this ethnic group.a girl willingly accepts whoever her parents have chosen for her in most cases. Afterall, the religion commands that parent's wishes should always be respected and carried out by the child, so long as it doesn't lead to disobedience of the creator.
No need to mention that divorce is also quite prevalent in this particular region more than the other parts of the country. Recently, I met a woman of thirty five who had been married four times and had been divorced four times. It's possible that more than half of these men were chosen for her by her parents. Before the end of next month, she will be getting married to another man who probably had been approved by her parents. A marriage of convenience rather than love.
It has also been noticed that such marriages have lower divorce rates. This is because the families of the couples would almost always intervene and immediately solve their marital issues for them. Afterall, the marriage was originally their idea and they'd do anything to make it work. Since it was for the interest of the two heads of the families and not for the children.
In more conservative families, dating is actually forbidden. This is because it is believed that it would lead to the corruption of a young virgin girl by "michevious" boys around. So, a girl's parents might think it wise to immediately marry her out to a young man they are very familiar with, who they could vouch for his integrity, hardwork and other admirable qualities they think that young man possesses
This type of reasoning on the side of the parent can be flawed. We have heard true stories handful of girls who got married to their parents' choice but still engaged in secret affairs with the man they truly loved. And when she's finally caught and thrown out by her parents' "anointed" husband, the shame would be on her entire family I guess. .......How do you expect a very young woman to spend the rest of her life with a man she never loved?
Conversely , the "God fearing" man recommended by her parents might turn into a monster few months into the marriage
Although, there have also been alot of succeses in such marriages. I have seen where girls that were forced to marry people they don't know but are now happy and grateful to their parents. I have also seen girls who disobeyed their parents and got married to the "love of their lives" but the marriage later turned out to be their worst nightmare.
So you see, such marriages are not that bad. Afterall, some of our mothers and grandmothers got married in a very similar way. Although some of them were never forced as they were allowed to accept or refuse a suitor. By the way, I am fully aware that the times have changed and such practices are becoming obsolete.
Sometimes, such a marriage is not always initiated by the parents. A young man in his early or mid thirties who is very busy with his career or business might not have the time to search for soul mate. So, he might decide to entrust the duty of searching of a suitable girl for marriage to his mom. And ofcourse, mothers have the knack for choosing just the perfect wife for their sons, Lol.
*****************************
Thank you for staying with me ♥️ ♥️♥️
Dear friends, so sorry I couldn't visit your articles on time.. I developed a fever abd body pains too.. I promise I'd do my best to go through as much articles as I can when I begin to get some relief
Paying for academic grades
Well, our parents and those before them were very passionate about their studies. Infact, those days, reading and discovering new things was just like a lifestyle to some folks. Dad and my teachers had told me about interesting stories of iconic figures like sir Isaac Newton who remained celibate through out their lives because of their unrivalled devotion to learning, knowing and doing more.
**Thank** **you 🙏**
But today, Due to the huge menance of social media and screen addiction, it seems as if the larger majority of the younger generation don't care about anything that has to do with books anymore, even though some of them would claim to be students. Lol.
I know of some male students in the University who could maintain a standing position for more than an hour, watching a game of football in an overcrowded viewing center . Strangely enough, they would find it extremely difficult to sit down and read their books for fifteen minutes. Some might even fall asleep and before the end of fifteen minutes. Lol
I have a friend who could watch movies for more than three hours without even going to get something to eat. But when it's time for studies, she would be complaining about hunger before it's twenty minutes.
Some of such students probably take studies as a waste of time. So, they tend to look for the easy way out when it comes to thier academics. At the end, they resort to paying certain amount of money to some unscrupulous lecturers in exchange for good grades.
By the way, University lecturers in my parts of the world are poorly paid, while others are just greedy and see this as an avenue to make extra earnings apart from their salaries. Oh, lest I forget, University lecturers in my country have recently embarked on a strike action since the federal government have repeatedly failed to pay them the allowances they were owed.
Even though there are textbooks and lots of materials both online and offline that are better alternative, a lecturer might insist that only those students that purchase his own lecture notes would pass his course. A lecturer might decide to sell a copy of a lecture note for like $2. This amount multiplied by a student population of say 500 could fetch him a staggering sum of a thousand dollars!
Sometimes a corrupt lecturer would give the impression that no matter how much you studied hard for his course, you'd never come out with an "A"or even a "B". He doesn't have to announce this directly to the class, you'd definitely be informed by his former students. "If you want to pass his course, this is the thing to do". Your predecessors would tell you.
So, of you are an hard-working student, you would have no choice then to tow the line because you'd be shocked when you see a "C "or most times a "D" in a course you know you could easily pass with an "A".
What's worse is that you can't even report such unscrupulous lecturers to the university authorities. As a matter of fact, the university regulating bodies are aware of this shameless acts perpetrated by their lecturers, just like everyone else including the parents and the government. But sadly, there's nothing anyone could do about it as it as now become part of the tertiary educational system.
Anyway, such students that mostly engage in "**sorting lecturers** " for grades ( as it is popularly called in the country) came into the University same way. Most of them never met the minimum requirement for a successful admission. So, they "bought" the admission by paying money to some corrupt top University officials in the management. It then means that the only way they could bear in this new but tough academic environment is by paying some lecturers for good grades in order cover up.
This might continue to happen from their first year up to the final level, since they lacked the intellectual ability to compete favourably with other students. No need to mention that most of such students came from families where money is not a problem.
There was this female student whose parents wanted her to be a doctor at all course even when she was not bright, just because of the prestige associated with having a child who's a medical doctor. Through money power, her parents were able to secure an admission for her into the faculty of medicine. She was immediately withdrawn from the faculty after virtually failing all the courses in level one.
The medical certificate is definitely not a certificate that could be bought with money unlike the others . This is because it's all about saving lives, and if you are not good at it,then you are not fit to be a doctor. Money definitely cannot buy life. Thank God beautiful sis @DocLayla passed her first exams with flying colors and is now preparing for her first professional medical examination.
*******************************
Thank you for staying with me ♥️ ♥️♥️
Marriage without the parents blessing
Yesterday, I was watching an Indian movie. The protagonist, a young man in his early twenties travelled abroad to further his studies. Four years after he had completed his University education, he returned back to his native India with a wife.
His parents were very happy to see him after a long time and they also readily welcome their daughter in-law into the family, a girl they had only met for the first time. soon, the girl got along with her husband's mom so well as if she had known her since childhood.
**Thank** **you 🙏**
I couldn't help ponder and wonder about these scenes for a long time. I wondered if such would ever be possible in my part of the world. Maybe it's because marriage is been overrated in my parts, but it is very important for parents to get to know the partner of the child so well before the issue of marriage could ever come up.
Infact, any child that goes ahead to marry the love of his life without the approval of his parents is termed "disrespectful" or "ill-trained" . It is believed that he wouldn't find happiness in his union. Since he never seek his parents blessings, sooner than later, the marriage would definitely hit a rock.
No doubt, there's no parents that wouldn't want their child's happiness but there might be a number of reasons why parents would frown at their child's marriage to his or her beloved.
In my parts of the world, a common reason why parents might kick against such marriage is due to religious or ethnic background of the other person. Your parents might have their reservations about the particular ethnic group or they might even have a past bitter experience with someone who was from thesame ethnic group with your fiancee. Hence they might come to a conclusion that folks belonging to such tribes are either traitors, egocentric , impatient or whatever negative qualities they had observed in people from that particular tribe.
They also might not be comfortable if their child's fiancee belonged to a different faith which is quite understandable. Sometimes, even within thesame faith, there might still be differences. I have seen where a parent frowned at daughter's fiance because the young man was not a member of their church.
Such reasons are no doubt ridiculous and in most cases, a child would ignore his parents and go ahead with the wedding. That shouldn't be a problem at all, the parents would definitely come around after much pleading and then bless their union. Especially when they fail to find any other negative quality associated with their child's partner.
Also, a parent just by natural instinct might not accept his or her child's partner, especially when they have learnt about her background or just by mere observation. In native Africa, it is said that *"whatever* *an* *elder* *sees* *when* *sitting* *down*, a *child* *wouldn't* *be* *able* *to* *see* *it* *even* *though* *he* *or* *she* *climbs* *to* *the* *top* of *the* *highest* *mountain*".
Due to a parent's years of existence and wealth of experience, a parent might be able to notice a hidden flaw in their child's partner which ofcourse the child had failed to see. He or she is probably blinded by love, and such a flaw would definitely become manifest when they start to live as man and wife.
Some parents would even go as far as seeking the services of magicians to help reveal everything about the past and lineage of their son's fiancee, to know wether there's a curse in her family . Lol you wouldn't blame some parents for going this far would you? After painstakingly training a child for many years, one wouldn't want to them fall into evil for the most part of their lives
A child might fail to see reasons with his or her parents and might ultimately choose his or her spouse over their parents, thereby severing family ties.
Later in life, the marriage might start passing through hard times which is quite common in many marriages. But due to the disagreement prior to the marriage, a husband or wife might start thinking that maybe if he or she had listened to thier parents, they wouldn't have found themselves in such a regrettable position. Later on, things might pick up in the marriage, and the young man or young woman would then realize that it was just a mere "confirmation bias". But in some cases, the marriage might turn to a living nightmare, thereby, justifying the parent's initial disapproval.
In conclusion, there are beautiful marriages that are still waxing stronger despite one or both parents refusing consent. Also, there are consequences that might be suffered in a marriage when either of the partners ignored thier parents warnings.
Afterall, even after a religious leader had blessed a union, the parents blessings are equally important, if not more important.
*******************************
Thank you for staying with me♥️♥️
What's the matter with a large head?
In my parts of the world , there's this popular insultive term that is often used on a little boy or a young man. It's quite common for little boy to be addressed by an offensive phrase "**Big** **Head**", when ever he had done something wrong.
**Thank** **you** 🙏
Sometimes, the person in question might obviously possess a big head and he'd definitely be hurt whenever he is being body shamed even though he didn't do anything wrong. During childhood, whenever my Lil bro makes a fails to understand an assignment after I was obviously tired of repeating myself, I'd stretch an ear and scream in our native language, " there's absolutely nothing in this your big head". Lol.
Just this morning, I was having a little chitchat with a friend of mine. We talked about valentine which also lead us to talk about romantic life. She told me about a guy who asked her out but she turned him down. She claimed that she could never date a guy with such a "big head".
Now, I knew the guy she was talking about, and it was not as if he was deformed or the head was extremely large. Infact when you see him for the first time, the first thing that strikes you is his friendly and jovial nature.
You wouldn't even notice the size of the head ( Afterall, every one have a head and almost all heads are similar in shape), so what's the fuss about dating someone who had a big head .
Anyway, we all have different preferences . Maybe I would call the guy and advice him to cut his head off so that my friend would agree to date him, or what do you think?
Honestly speaking, I don't know when someone has a large or small head, as long as the owner ain't complaining that his head is too big for his neck to carry . By the way God has created everyone in the most perfect mould. So, I'm quite surprised that some people would taunt anyone that they believed to have a "big head".
There has been a myth going around ever since I was a child that people who had larger heads tends to be more intelligent than others. I don't know how true this is but I have seen a few cases that proved it.
A boy could be taunted since from childhood till adulthood about having a larger head . This could affect his confidence and make him develop a low self-esteem even though he's obviously more intelligent than the people who make jest of him.
Many years ago when I was a kid in elementary school. There was this brilliant boy in class called Isaac. Isaac obviously had a " large head", so, he was made the butt of most jokes by the bullies in class, who in turn were "empty-headed' .
They would constantly laugh at his unusual shape of head and they called him silly names. Some called him "headmaster", "headwind" and the rest. This is really hurt Isaac and made him emotional sometimes. When the name-calling became too much, he started putting on a school hat in order to make his head less noticeable to his bullies. Still, everynow and then, some mischievous ones among them would snatch the cap from his head and burst into a heavy laughter.
One day, something strange happened and Isaac became determined to prove to the other boys that his head was not as big as they all thought. It actually happened after school hours and the rest of us learnt about the incident the next day.
The boys challenged isaac to stick out his head between the protective iron bars that were usually built on an open window. Isaac was totally oblivious that he was about to enter a trap that the other boys had carefully planned.
Isaac readily accepted the challenge. He went into the classroom and moved towards the window as the other boys kept looking at him from the outside. All eyes were on him and he probably thought that this was the moment to put all of them to shame.
With great effort, he forcefully pushed his head in the spaces between the iron bars of the window till it went through up to the neck region.
On seeing this, the other boys started clapping and hailing isaac . A wide grin appeared across Isaac's face as he was proud of himself for accomplishing such an achievement. He remained like that for some seconds.Then it was time to pull the head out, atleast he had now proven to the whole world that his head was not that large.
Isaac spent half an hour trying to pull out his head from the iron bars but to no avail. By this time, the other boys were already rolling on the floor with heavy laughter . Isaac cried and cried for help but they all continued to laugh at him. The more he cried, the more they laughed.
Fortunately, a passer-by was attracted into the school compound by the noises. Immediately, he tried to help isacc but isaac was obviously in pains, the more he tried to pull out the head away from the window, the more Isaac screamed. Thank God ,a carpenter was nearby and he provided an hacksaw that was used to rip the iron bars before Isaac could be saved.
The incident was reported in school the next day. All the boys that were involved were punished, including Isaac ( for being a fool) . Later on, the principal called Isaac into his office and they both talked for a long time.
I don't think Isaac will ever forget that experience till the end of his days.
Sometimes, when I look at the mirror especially when making my hair, I usually think that I have a large head too, Lol. But I'm not bothered at all, because alot of persons with smaller head size are not alive today.
*******************************
Thank you for staying with me ♥️ ♥️
Thanks alot @Adrielle1214 for the Val's gift. This means alot and I really appreciate it ma'am
No need to get paranoid
Have you ever felt that everyone had ganged up against you? Well I think we all have been there before at one point . This is often accompanied by a change in moods and one tend to become quite temperamental or judgemental. You'd always think " I am definitely pay them back in their own coin.. I definitely will find away to settle the scores sooner or later".
**Thank** **you** 🙏
When paranoid, one can become quite oversensitive or simply put superstitious. You'd keep experiencing a growing feeling that everyone around you have a mischievous or dishonest plan towards you. All this would continue forming a vicious cycle in your mind and soon, you begin to imagine some weird assumptions about others. Stuffs that you have no right to think about and this might make you become unfair to others.
we'd later realize in our hour of calmness and serenity that this was only a mind trick since you wouldn't be able to find a justifiable reason why you are thinking or acting this way.
Often, one becomes paranoid when he or she is at a central spot or an enviable position. For instance, at a workplace, boss might be made to believe that his employees are plotting against him when ever he sees them having the usual offfice gossip or even an harmless chitchat. Especially when he knows that he hasn't been a very kind or lovable boss to them .
Such a boss might choose to answer a simple " good morning sir" from his employees with a frown. He'd consider all of them as hypocrites who insults him at his back.
A sibling, spouse , colleague or friend can get paranoid up to a level that they engage you in an outright confrontation or worse, falsely accuse you about something you know absolutely nothing about. It might be that your words or actions in a previous discussion or scenario had been twisted or wrongly interpreted by them. And instead of asking you to make them understand better, they become sour towards you.
This could make one feel hurt or angry especially when these accusations are mere thoughts bereft of reasoning and evidence. When you are being faced with such a paranoid partner, it's advisable for you to exercise alot of calm and restraint even though they continue to push you towards the edge. Because whatever you say or do in the heat of the row could make things worse and a simple misunderstanding might later degenerate into prolonged malice and hatred.
Later, when the other person have calm down and is now able to organize and analyse his or her thoughts well, they'd definitely apologize to you for overreacting.
I have observed that most people who suffer from Paranoia are people who think that have alot to lose or people who had have had a bad experience before like an heartbreak, a business failure or lost of a loved one. This might make them to nurse unnecessary fears and worries.
During my second year in high school, third term precisely, I came second position after the exams. This was really an admirable feat as no girl have ever emerged in the top three since our first year. I enjoyed praises from my parents, teachers and the boys in class.
One day, when me and the other girls were having an interesting conversation, one of them said: "Bilkisu would pretend to be gisting or playing with us, later on, she would sneak into the library to study". Wether she said this playfully or out of envy, I would never know .
Normally, I shouldn't be upset by such a statement. As a matter of fact, it should have made me laugh as it was intended to be a joke. But because I allowed my new position in class get into my head, not only did I became angry at her, I also became furious at the other girls too. I thought they were all jealous of me.
I didn't talk or interact with the other girls in class for almost a week . Whenever I see a group of girls from my class having a conversation during the break, I'd always think they were talking about me. And whenever they laughed and inadvertently looked at my direction, I'd be so convinced that I was the subject of their gossip. I even imagined that they laughed louder and more frequently than before. It all made me angry the more.
I had to changed my seat by coming to sit at the front of the class close to a boy who always came first in class. I thought he was the kind of friend that I should be rolling with henceforth. Lol.
To cut the long story short , I continued to nurture the enmity towards the other girls rather than focusing on my studies. And as God would have it, my performance in the next examination dropped . Instead of maintaining it, I lost the second position to the original owner. It was as if I only helped him in holding it for a short period of four months.
Strangely enough, I didn't feel embarrassed even when the other girls were now obviously laughing at me . I was able to quickly shake off the shame and I approached them. I apologized for my misbehavior towards them. I was readily forgiven and taken back into the sisterhood. As our friendship grew stronger, I totally forgot and never cared about coming second position again. Lol.
*******************************
Thank you for staying with me ♥️ ♥️
Solomon's Star
Before I was twelve, we lived in a police barrack. Dad was not a cop, but as a journalist, he often covered some stories for the police. My fellow country people in this platform would vouch to the fact that most barracks in the country (both military and police) were more like urban ghettos .
The youth population and the growing children are so wild that one begin to wonder how come the children of the men of the law were so indisciplined and erratic (both males and females). Sometimes, these young people would leave the barracks and go spread chaos and corruption at outside communities.
I remember vividly, at the mention of "barrack boy" or" barrack girl", the heart of an outsider would automatically heave a bit. Barrack boys are believed to have more "*liver*" ( bravery) than other boys. "*I* *will* *show* *you* *that* *i* *am* *a* *barrack* *girl*". A disappointed barrack girl would threaten her ex boyfriend, and she'd definitely carryout her threat.
Infact, it is believed that there was nothing too evil, eccentric or extraordinary that a child who grew up in the barracks could not do.
There was this handsome youth called Solomon. He should be around twenty or twenty -one at the time. His late father was a soldier. He was killed when Solomon was very young.
Mama-solomon was a strong woman who never remarried even though she was still young and beautiful. She was determined to do her best in training Solomon and his younger sister with the help of the almighty.
Mama-solomon was a food vendor who sold common foods beside one of he linkup roads in the barracks. She was a really good cook and since her meals were cheaper,she attracted alot of customers and friends. Through her daily profits, she was able to send her two children to school after feeding them. Solomon was really not your typical " barrack boy". He had a very good character that was never influenced by the decay in the barracks.
He was so devoted to his mom, that everyday, after school hours, he would rush to his mother's shed and assist her in serving the customers. Solomon was never seen walking or hanging out with other young people in the barracks. His activities perfectly fits the vertices of a triangle; School- restaurant- home . Sometimes church.
When Solomon finally got admitted to the state's University to study engineering, he refused to live in campus and enjoy campus life. Immediately after taking lectures, he would always return to his mother's little restaurant and assist her in the business.
To cut the long story short, Solomon did his IT (Industrial training) and NYSC ( a program for graduate after they had completed their education) at his mother's little restaurant. He refused to be taken anywhere else.
Other women would look at Solomon with pure admiration as they observed how devoted he was to his mother. No need to mention that they also felt depressed when they try to compare him to their thick-headed and wayward sons.
"Just take a look at Solomon, he's about your age. See how humble he his, everyone loves him. What have you gained in all your stupidity and arrogance?". Mothers living in kalapanzin barracks would continually mention Solomon as the perfect exemplar of a blessed child when scolding their criminally minded sons.
Solomon continued to remain focused. He never cared if the other barrack boys giggled at him when they see him washing the dishes close to the road side at his mother's restaurant. He was never ashamed to prepare and serve meals even when the barracks girls were watching him
You could say that mama- Solomon was about the luckiest mother in the barracks and she was proud of her son. She never hesitated to show him off to her customers and other envious women.
Just recently, My mom told me that she heard that Solomon was now working as an engineer in a technology firm in Dubai. Solomon now has a wife and two kids and his mom lives with the family too.
Most of his childhood mates who laughed at him are still living in the awful barrack where their parents also lived. Nothing ever happened to them.
*******************************
Thanks for staying with me ♥️♥️♥️
My beautiful signatures, Lol.
Lovely friends . I am so sorry I couldn't visit your articles yesterday, honestly I was not very well. I really appreciate all of your support and thanks alot for your understanding. 🙏
I first stumbled on a signature when I was eleven years old. I think it was on a Saturday, there was no school and there was no children around to play with, so I went in search of an interesting novel to read in dad's locker. Dad really had alot of books! Dad even said that some of the books were older than him!
Thank you sponsors 🙏
I was still looking for a good book that a child of my age might find interesting when I saw some papers, which I was later told were called "documents".
The beautiful handwriting caught my attention and I was tempted to read through them. Then at the bottom right corner of the paper, I saw an ominous inscription I couldn't possibly read. With a childish frown on my face, I wondered what they could possibly mean.
I later came to the resolve that daddy's ink was running low when he was writing, so he probably tried to bring the pen back to life by vigorously walking it on a little spot at the side of the paper. Just like how me and my friends would do in class when we desperately try to energise an almost dead or old pen that had ceased writing. I concluded in my mind that this must be a "***nonsense***" and I didn't think more of it.
A month later,the headmistress of my elementary school came to our class to issue me a receipt. She usually gave it to dad whenever he comes around to pay my school fees. Maybe dad hadn't remember to collect the receipt on that day, so she handed it to me and instructed me to give it to dad when I got home.
Once again, I saw this ominous inscription at the bottom right corner of the half paper. This time around, they were a little bit different from the one I had seen in daddy's box. Now my interest was piqued.
When dad returned from the office, I showed him the receipt and a immediately asked in a sharp little voice "Why is it that some grown-ups end up writing nonsense?". I demanded ( I was very talkative in childhood,Lol) .
For a moment, dad couldn't understand what I was talking about and I had to indicate the spot where the signature was written.
Dad understood at once and he burst into a loud, rich laughter. I waited patiently for him to finish as I transferred my weight from one leg to the other, already exasperated.
Dad told me it was called a "signature" and said that everyone have his or her own unique signature. Dad brought out more of his books and showed me all the places he had his signatures and they were all alike.
He tried his best in explaining to an eleven year old what a signature means and signifies. I only have understood what he was saying . Now, I was hungry and bored with the long talks. Then he announced that I could also have signature too. I brightened up immediately. I was very excited when he told me that I don't have to wait till I'm all grown up before creating a signature.
I asked Dad to teach me how to do it.
"I don't have to teach you that too, bilkisu. Just go ahead and write whatever short ***nonsense*** you feel like writing". Dad laughed. Although, he gave me a Clue by telling me to start with the first alphabet of my name.
I brought out a book from my bag , with a shaky hand, I tried moving a pen haphazardly on the back page. I showed it to dad and he said it wasn't bad. I tried again one more time.
As soon as I had got the idea, for the next hour, I kept trying out different styles of signature. I showed some of them to dad and he kept nodding his head in approval. Dad soon got tired of me and declared that he was going to bed. I didn't even hear him, I was so engrossed in the technology of discovering newer models of signature writing techniques and development.
Soon, I got tired of writing on sheets of papers and I began to decorate the tables, chairs and walls with my beautiful signatures. I signed on virtually everything in our sitting room until my ink dried up. I stood up proudly and admired my works all over the sitting room. The smile I had was big enough to tear my face into two.
The following morning, I was awaken by the screams of mother. She was shocked beyond words at the level of desecration in her sitting room. As soon as I came out of my room, she rushed towards me with a slipper in her left hand, ready for a good whipping. But dad quickly came between us and tried to calm her down.
On my way to school, I couldn't wait to teach my friends how to write a damn good signature. Lol. We spent most parts of the break period under a mango tree as we kept discovering more revolutionary and cutting- edge signatures.
Later in the evening, long after I had returned home from school. I brought my assignment to mother who always assisted me with them. Mother was more shocked that over three-quarters of my assignment book have been conquered by signatures, both the good and the evil ones. Mom immediately became weak and couldn't say a word. She kept looking at me for a long time.
She was still looking at me when i ran out of the house.
**An** **amazing** **fact : Do you know that my signature is almost thesame to that of president Barack Obama. Hehehehehe.**
PS: The above story is only a figment of my imagination
******************************
Thank you for staying with me ♥️
Chronic borrowers
I got to realize this was actually an addiction when I became a student in the University, living on campus. We all know that there are alot of different personalities and characters one would encounter in a higher institution .
There are some individuals that when you see them coming or hear where their name is being mentioned, the first thing that comes to your mind is their terrible borrowing habit. Even when you get a call from such as person, you might instinctively assume that they want something and your guess would turn out right.
Most times, it's not as if they can't afford the needed item, but they find it more conveniently to take from others than to get their own,even if the item were very cheap. These items could be very common everyday stuffs like match sticks, seasoning cubes, buckets, laundry irons, perfume and even washing soaps.
What is more irksome is when such a person fail to return your stuff after they are done with it . You'd be forced to go back to their apartment and get your stuff back when it's time for you to use it again. This is quite a terrible attitude that might make you regret lending your stuff to such a person.
Sometimes, they might end up spoiling your stuff as a result of neglect or misuse. He or she might not even apologize for the inconveniences caused. And when you decide to bar such a person from using your things in the future as a result of their unpleasant behavior, You'd become an enemy and he/she might even slander or spread false hood about you.
I am not saying that we should close our doors to those in need of any form of assistance . From my observation, people who are always quick to ask for or use other people's stuff seem to be quite defective in self discipline and such people are never satisfied.
This is because I know of alot of young individuals from very humble backgrounds who have very little but do their best to manage the little they have for as long as they possibly can. It all boils down to self discipline and determination. And when such persons eventually comes to you for help for the first time, you'd know that they really needed it as the situation has now gone beyond their control. Infact, you'd feel honored helping such people. You wouldn't even mind to repeat the gesture some other time .
I for one find it difficult in asking some one else who is not a parent or a sibling of mine for a financial assistance. I'm not saying that I have never seek help or a favor from someone else before. That'd be a bogus lie and absolutely no one would believe me . But I know the kind of persons I would ask for an assistance.
Such a person would definitely be someone who I have assisted in their time of needs also. A close friend . And even if he or she couldn't help me out, I will definitely not feel bad about them neither would I regret asking for their help because I already know that if they were in a position to help, they wouldn't hesitate to help me too. I wouldn't hesitate to use that their stuff too when the need arises
I have a friend who was a compulsive borrower. There was absolutely nothing she wouldn't ask to be given to her, no matter how affordable it was in a nearby store. Ofcourse she likes getting familiar with people, and as soon as she have succeeded in making you her friend, she'd start using and misusing your stuffs even though the friendship was not even up to a week old.
It also turns out that she was a spendthrift who found it difficult to economize the modest monthly allowance that her parents sent her. She'd borrow money from everyone around and wouldn't want to pay no matter how much pressure her creditors put on her. whenever you ask her to pay up, she will always reply that she had "bigger debts" to pay and when she's done offsetting such debts, she would see what she could do about yours. She'd end up frustrating you till you forget about the money.
And if you want your money so bad, you'd have to involve the police to force her to pay up, but ofcourse you don't have time for that.
Strangely enough, she'd always succeed in convincing others to keep borrowing her money and I wonder how she does it. Who knows, maybe it's an esoteric skill that is innate and peculiar to chronic borrowers.
*******************************
Thanks for staying with me ♥️
Horrible bosses
They are quite common around us .Many of us have even had bitter experiences working under a cruel boss or madam. I have known some superiors who treat their surbidinates in a most degrading manner, who don't hesitate to use heavy and hurtful words at their slightest mistake. That's if there was even a mistake in the first place. Actually, they look for the slightest opportunity to humiliate those under them.
It's quite a popular saying that "the origin of many rich men was once poor". There are verifiable stories out there about some tyrannical CEOs, directors and general managers who started their journey from the lowest rungs of the ladder before reaching the level that they are today .
Recently I read a story of a young man who almost killed his middle aged boss with a single punch. The older man called him into his office, then started raining insults on him in the presence of his female business partner. The younger man couldn't bear this no more and he attacked him. At the hospital, the doctor announced that the boss was diabetic and also had a high blood pressure. Thank God he narrowly escaped death, else the innocent young man would have regretted his action even though his actions was justified.
It very possible that such bosses had it quite easier during their younger years. Infact, some of them didn't get to the top by their hardwork or persistence but yet grace smiled at them. So,why would he/she rather make things unnecessarily difficult for the honest, hard-working and ambitious young people working under them. Instead of encouraging to becoming better, he rather kills their spirit and zeal, destroying their self-esteem everynow and then.
You could work to your breaking point or even move mountains just so that you would be in their good books. But all that won't still be enough to make them change their attitude towards you. A Tyrannical boss will always whisper your achievements but re-echo your errors.
Ofcourse such bosses are fully aware that the unemployment in the society is really terrible. And since there are many young people out there looking for job, they d constantly remind their employees of how "lucky" they are to get a job. Therefore, using that as an excuse to treat them like doormats.
A boss who might be dealing with marital problems or had just lost out on a business deal would just decide to vent out his anger and frustration on an innocent employee who knows nothing about his affairs. It's not as if the employees have ever met the wife, neither do they control the market.
Its very possible thst such a boss might still be owing his workers some months salaries. But he still dehumanizes them. when the least he could do for them is to appreciate them for their patience and loyalty. One begin to wonder wether such a boss is mentally ok. I don't just understand how can someone be so cruel.
Writing this article, I just realized now why alot of young people have vowed to be their own boss. It might not necessarily be due to the meager salaries or stresses involved in jobs, but the emotional torture that one gets to experience almost everyday. This can go a long way in destroying one's confidence you know.
One would definitely feel worthless and also suffer from a low esteem when he/she is never appreciated no matter how hard they try. You'd be surprised when half of those efforts, if channelled towards your personal growth and development would accomplish outstanding results both in the long and short run.
I also had an experience with a horrible boss some years ago after I decided not to remain idle when I had completed my high school. I didn't stay with her for more than two months before I quit. Strangely enough, whenever I remember the experience, I don't feel any anger towards her. Instead I am grateful for all the life's lessons I have learnt from her . Just by chance, i would fancy meeting her again somewhere in the future and would love to see the shock expression on her face when she sees how God have been taking care of things.
I'd be the first to approach her and say hi. Then she would realize that it's a small world but there's more to life than been a "madam" in a shop.
*********************************
Thank you for staying with me ♥️
Ever had a friend who sounds exactly like your mom?
We all might have had this particular friend that is so different from the other ones. He or she might not even be your best friend but one of your close friends. They'd never fail to criticize you when you are at fault neither will they hesitate to correct you when you are wrong.
Well, I have a friend like that in @DocLayla . We have known each other since we were nine or ten, and I have no doubt that she's my guardian angel. 🤗
When we were still school girls, On our way back from school, she'd complain bitterly why dirty my school uniform looks so dirty. "Bilqees, how many times have I warned you not to always play rough during the break?, See how dirty your socks look. Did you really wash them the previous day? At this point, I would angrily reply that I washed them but she would persist that I don't know how to wash socks properly.
This line of questions always gets me angry since she was not my mom but kept addressing me like mom. Sometimes, we would buy some roadside snacks on our way home. As soon as I begin to open the pack, she would scream at me. " Wait Bilqees, we shouldn't eat while walking on the streets. That kind of behavior is only for children that lack proper upbringing. Wait till we get home, then we settle down eat". Even though this statement made me angry, I knew she was right.
Whenever I visit her home to play after school hours. She would insist that we do our assignment first before going out with other girls. Sometimes, when there's no homework to do, She might still decline going out to have fun. finally I might get pissed at her and decide to go out on my own and I'd later regret.
Outside, I might be bullied by one of the other girls, sometimes they all would gang up against me and in the absence of my bossom friend, and i'd feel helpless.
"How many times have I warned you not to mingle with those girls? that serves you right, silly child". @DocLayla would scream at me after I had recounted the incidence to her. She'd sound exactly like mom. Sometimes she would insist on going out to dish a Stern warning to my bullies and but i would plead with her to forget all about it.
She had always forced me to learn maths but I hated it and she kept forcing it in my thick brain. Before we return to our respective homes after school hours, she'd order me to come meet her at their home for more tutorials and I would oblige. Just like a girl whose mom had instructed her to come meet her at her shop immediately after lunch.
It could be really annoying when a friend of same age keeps reprimanding you with the audaciousness of a strict older sibling or parent.
But deep down, in the most precious parts of your heart, you know that this particular friend loves, appreciate and cares for you more than the others even though he/she seldom expresses those feelings.
Such friends are the treasures of life that God had sent to you so that you could be saved from alot of temptations in this treacherous world. They could save you from your self also, by pulling you out of a dangerous addiction even though it means engaging you in a physical brawl or a hot verbal exchange.
After a bitter encounter, the both of you might go your separate ways. But that's only for a short time. You might have a very beautiful girlfriend,or an amazing boyfriend, but before long, you'd feel that your life is so empty without that person
Then you would realize that friend was never jealous of you. You'd also come to realize that if it ain't death, you both should never abandon each other, else life would be boring for you two.
Now you know there's no other option than to ensue a reconciliation. That friend might still address you like her kid who had come to ask momma for forgiveness, Lol. But you should be used to that by now. There's absolutely nothing you could do about it anymore. You are stuck with that friend for the rest of your life. Your life wouldn't be complete without him/her.
We might discover such friends in our childhood and would grow together with them for a very long time. Such a friend makes you complete, without him or her, you'd feel as if you were stark naked in a cold world!
******************************
Thank you so much for staying with me , ♥️
Loneliness does not kill
Well, I have heard alot about loneliness being a terrible state of mind and it can adversely take a toll on an individual till he/she slips into depression where the worst could probably happen.
Everyone could suffer from being lonely irrespective of their financial or relationship status. Contrary to popular belief, one might think that the reason for their loneliness is due to the absence of material possessions or the lack of connection to others. In a deeper light, these reasons and more are entirely valid.
Time will come and go and you will have that dream job with a nice pay check. You would have also become a married person and probably a parent. But despite all these, you might still be battling with an incurable loneliness that seem to defy all remedies. Infact everyone in the world could be respectful, nice and accomdating towards you and you could still feel loneliness.
We have all heard stories of popular figures,who shocked thousands of their admirers when they confessed that they battle loneliness every other day. We all know one or two entertainment icons that slid into dangerous depression that cost them their lives. These were people we thought have everything going well for them .
So, Loneliness actually comes from not being able to define a passionate path that would light up your life again, irrespective of your past successes or your friendship with others, be it casual or serious
It's a flawed mindset to think that the reason of your loneliness is due to your inadequacies. You might think you don't have the face, the height, the money, the art or talent to make people attracted to you. Instead of wallowing in sef pity, one should use one's solitude as a source of strength because the solution of your loneliness is within you already.
Rapidly develop yourself in those periods and aspire to greater heights. Afterall, eagles fly alone. They don't fly together with other birds and that's why they are on top of the food chain. Soon enough, you'd be way above on the ladder that you soon forget about all those people you thought would have made you complete.
Your new power and position would lead you in meeting and making new friends and colleagues in thesame class that you are now. You would come to meet alot of important people that would need your help. Thank God for the internet, there are alot of fun things to do or learn which will not only shed loneliness but also bring you some level of financial freedom.
But It's quite unfortunate that alot of people tend to binge in their loneliness. Either on food(carbs and junks), screens and even on a terrible addiction just to past the time. Sometimes loneliness bring out the bad side of an individual. There's a saying: "An idle person is the devil's workshop". if not checked, one can delve into more destructive vices.
" The *lonely* *one* *stretches* *his* *hands* *too* *quickly to anyone who's available".*
*Your* Loneliness might not be due to the absence of a romantic relationship in your life. This is a very common belief which is only half true. One might feel desperately lonely especially when others around them already have a mate. And in an unreasonable and careless quest to change one relationship status, one might end up with a partner that they are not compatible with . what ever happens in the near future would lead to a worse feeling which might make you crave for your single but peaceful days.
Personally, during the school breaks, I sleep away my loneliness. Sleeping away the feelings is alot better than harboring unhealthy and unnecessary thoughts about one's life and the world in general. I don't mind sleeping three times a day when am alone, Lol. By the way, I'm not a movie or social media freak and most young adults in my neighborhood are not the kind I would consider a useful friendship with. I rather stick with old friends because I struggle so much to make new friends offline.
I might be wrong though, it could be that I have social anxiety. I am probably afraid that they might hurt me or I might inadvertently hurt them later on in the friendship.Too much familiarty breeds contempt you know. Solitude can also serve as a shield in this treacherous world. What people don't know or can't reach, they can't destroy.
Even though it may seem that I am lonely sometimes, I am never alone . Thank God for this online community. Regardless of the pay, I always have a fulfilled and glad day whenever I engage my time here. Sharing your thoughts and learning new things from good people who would make you grow in mind every day is really a beautiful experience that is capable of driving every shadow of loneliness.
*******************************
Thank you for staying with me ♥️
Interfering in a couple's dispute
Hello my dear friends. I trust you all had an amazing weekend. Just as we all know, weekends are for weddings and you had the opportunity of attending one today. It was quite obvious that the 👰 was already pregnant and I observed that the baby bump made her look quite awkward in the gown....Lol, I'm sorry for sounding silly.
Well, It really proved to be worth it as it helped me came up with an idea of today's article.
I strongly believe that issues regarding married folks are very sensitive and personal. Couples should always sort out their differences between themselves with little or no involvement of an outsider especially one who is not a member of the extended family.
Personally, I don't think I would ever interfere in a couple's row . It's not as if I wouldn't love to help a married sis in distress who needs my advice neither would I love to see a friend suffer in her matrimonial home. I just believe she understands her husband better than any other person including his parents and friends. In the absence of domestic violence or a deadly situation, she alone have the power to salvage her marriage, not her friend, parent or even pastor.
I won't deny that I always feel sorry when I see her in distress as she talks about her challenges even though I'd tactfully try to change topics because it makes me quite uncomfortable. I'd be very grateful if she never brought up her marital issues into our conversation.
But when she becomes adamant and would want to hear my opinion or seek my advice, I try to pick my words carefully and be as unbiased and unintentional as possible when discussing her partner's ills. I'd tell her that she will be included in my prayers after advicing her to talk to her parents or his parents about the matter. But I'd never impose my opinion on her marriage.
It's dangerous to favour one partner over the other in a marital disagreement you know. There isn't any marital problem that is entirely the fault of the man or woman. Apart from the words you have been told, you definitely don't know what had actually transpired between both since you are not living under thesame roof with them. Except you are called upon by both parties for a counseling session
I don't mean that it is totally wrong to help save a struggling marriage. Sometimes your assistance would help turn things around and be you will be greatly appreciated. But on the other hand, it might boomerang on you and you d be tag a bad advicer.
This is because I don't think any man or woman would be happy when their marital secrets are revealed to a third party . Especially when that outsider is not a member of the extended family. At the end, when she finally begins to see the light, your friend's partner might accuse you of giving his wife wrong ideas about him. You'd also be termed as the girl who is trying to tear the couples apart.
If he is the manipulative type, he might not find it difficult to convince his wife or girlfriend that you are "jealous "of their relationship especially when you are still single. Ofcourse the woman would finally agree after all the smooth talks and a quality time together.
You'd be used as an alibi to cover the partner's fault. You will be used to solve their marriage dispute and discarded ASAP. Your relationship between you and your friend could become strained since her partner had made her believe that you don't mean well for her.
In my parts of the world, whenever a woman returns to her parents house after a misunderstanding with her husband without him sending her packing, a mother might want to take side with her daughter. But a wiser father would immediately send her back to her husband's house the next day to go fix her marriage.
Afterall, she wasn't forced to marry him. She chose him herself and it was expected that she had known him so well and how to handle him before deciding to spend the rest of her life with him. The best a parent can do is to offer useful martial advise to their married children and correct them when they are wrong. But never should they interfere in their marriage. Ultimately, the success of a marriage lies in the hands of the couples and not with a third party.
******************************
Thank you for staying with me ♥️
@francis105d1. Thank you so much for considering me worthy of your generosity. Your sponsorship meant alot and I don't take it for granted.
Revenge ? Who have time for that?
Hello my amazing friends. I hope you all are enjoying a an equally amazing Friday. So, yesterday I couldn't put up an article. It wasn't because I was I'll or had a busy day, I actually didn't know what to write about. As matter of fact, I would have missed writing, today as well.
But thank God for a talkative neighbor who came to my rescue this morning. She kept talking about this n that and other insignificant matters for like ten minutes. I only managed to listen to her as I was already bored. I kept thinking about what I would write about today.
Then suddenly, she came up with a very interesting gossip. She told me about a young woman who almost killed her ex who broke her heart. I became very alert at this moment as I adjusted my sitting position and mentally thanked her for giving me a potential idea for f what today's article would be.
What I heard shocked me to the bones and I don't think I have ever heard or would ever hear a more heartbreaking story.
The woman almost killed her ex lover by trying to hit him with her car. She had been on a sick bed fighting for her life after an abortion gone wrong. She had to go through all these pains because the "love of her life" was not yet ready for a baby. In summary, after narrowly escaping death, she also lost her natural ability to reproduce.
All the while she was battling with death, her husband had been having an illicit affair with a mutual friend.
I could only imagined the exceeding pains and emotional trauma that tortured her soul through when she learnt about this betrayal. I don't know if anyone else has ever suffered a greater heartbreak before.
Surprisingly, her ex survived the accident and she couldn't have her "deserved revenge". Even some of the police officers that apprehended her felt sorry for her . But it doesn't change the fact that the young lady would be arraigned in court and charged with attempted murder, and according to the law, she would so sometime behind bars. Vengeance was hers to take but she couldn't get it.
I couldn't stop my self from thinking that in the nearest future, the man that have destroyed her life would find love again and eventually get married to another woman who would bear him as many children as he wanted. At one point or the other, he'd upload a photo of his beautiful family for the whole world to see, including his ex.
This is not the first time I have heard or even seen where bad people tend to have all the lucks in the world while good people suffer.
We have all heard stories or even experienced devastating heartbreaks in the past. It could happen the other way too l, when a young woman decides to dump a young man who had put his life and dreams on hold because of her. Who had chose her over his parents and friends. She starts a new life with another man (probably richer) and lives happily ever after.
Sometimes, the pains becomes unbearable and the betrayed would keep feeling like the "biggest fool" on Earth. Suddenly all the sorrows and agony might transform into a burning and thirsty desire for REVENGE! and one might go to any length just to have one's pound of flesh.
In the moment of seethe and bitterness, one should pause and ask oneself; what if I had ended up with such a venomous soul in a marriage that would later turn out to be my worst nightmare. Isn't it more preferable that we had gone out separate ways now?
I'd definitely use the lessons learnt from such bitter experience to be more careful next time and ofcourse become a better version of my former self. Believe me, with such a train of thought, you'd get over that unworthy fellow sooner than you thought possible. Life is short you know, trust me you don't want to spend valuable time feeling wretched or miserable.
By the way, seeking revenge simply mean that one had accepted that the other man or woman your ex settled for was better than you. And that's the worst thing that can ever happen to one's self-esteem. Even after one might have accomplished the revenge, one would continue to feel inferior and insecure for most parts of one's life. One would later realized, in retrospect that revenge never made things better, neither would it make you feel better.
I believe that there's no wrong action that is too great to forgive or let go. There's an African saying, " *No* *matter* *how* *hard* *the* *eyes* *have* *cried*, *they* *will* *never* *cry* *blood*".
Its understandable to feel hurt over and over again and you might just decide to go on the offensive so that others would learn how to respect you. The satisfaction one might get at the end is normally false and ephemeral . Sooner than later, one might regret such actions and become more unhappy, because that's not the kind of person you are. Allow karma to handle the situation and they would definitely meet their Waterloo in no distant time.
It's always advisable to forget about them no matter how difficult it may seem. Someone else whom they had crossed in the past or would definitely cross in the future could be used to get a revenge on your behalf. There would absolutely be no need to get your good hands dirty.
Some years ago when I was still a school girl, I had two older girls who were always breathing down on my neck. They gave me alot off heartaches and they never failed to sieze every little opportunity to bully me wether in the class, in the field and even in the hood. There was absolutely nothing I could do to them since they were bigger than I am. I was so bitter that sometimes before I sleep, I would silently pray they fail the most important exam which was the high School leaving examination .( the West African examination council). Yes, I hated them as much as they hated me.
And to my delight, they both failed core subjects in the exams. In my little mind, I felt happy and satisfied. But as I grew older , I thought about the situation all over again. What if they had performed excellently and got good results? This was very possible you know. I realized that their vendetta towards me was entirely independent of their performance in the examination. If they had studied hard enough, they would definitely had passed wether they were my enemies or not.
Had it been I heard they were successful in the exam, it would mean that I'd felt more miserable and bitter, which ofcourse wasn't quite necessary, atleast, not after all the initial humiliation and pains I have been through in their hands.
Afterall, "*resentment* *is* *like* *drinking* *poison* *and* *expecting* the *next* *person* *to* *die"*
So, for your own peace if mind and wellbeing. Try not to overwhelm your heart too much by being too upset. Believe me there are tons of things that you ought to be grateful for.
****************************
Thank you for staying with me ♥️
Begin to treat your younger sibling as an equal
We all have friends who we call our bestie and believe that they are closer to us than a our own sibling especially a younger sibling who might be much younger than you.
It's quite common for a younger sibling to be headstrong or rebellious toward you. You might always try your best to correct his or her every mistakes but to no avail.
Sometimes, it might seem that the more you correct them, the more they become annoying. Soon enough, you'd come through a conclusion that no one disrespects you as much as your own blood does, then you might begin to hate them for that. ..or so you thought.. You'd never realized how much you love and care for him/her until you see them helpless, in a very serious predicament.
You'd wish you could just take all the agony away from him at that moment all at once. You'd do anything to make him or her smile or laugh again.And when they finally smile at you, the feeling in your heart couldn't be commpared with any other feeling in the world.
Often times, when you scold them about a particular misbehavior, instead of them apologizing after you have pointed out their fault, your Lil bro might turn arrogant and walk away. Sometimes they'd respond to you in a harsh or unpleasant tone and you find it hard to resist the temptation of hitting them.
And even when mom or dad interferes in the dispute, it would look as if they are taking sides with their younger child and this might make you more bitter. You'd start to think that mom loves you less, but honestly that's not the case.
It means that mom has more faith in you since you are the eldest, she also expects you to be more patient and accommodating to the younger one just like how she have always been patient with you for a along time, even before the younger one came to the world.
In most cases, hitting or cursing a sibling would only make matters worse in both the short run and in the future
You'd be constantly fanning the embers of hate and resentment in their hearts whenever use degrading words on them them especially when they know that mummy and daddy hardly hits you or calls you names when you make a mess of something.
You'd only be seen as tyrant to the younger one. Who knows, he/she might be plotting to have a revenge somewhere in the future and very soon you'd regret ever behaving like an oppressor towards your Lil bro or sis.
There would definitely come a time that you dare not lay your hands on them again or use those heavy words
Don't forget, they could grow up faster than you and also become more physically sturdy. So, what ever insultive or heavy word you use on them can also be thrown back at you and there would be absolutely nothing you could do about the insolence.
You wouldn't think of hitting them either as they will definitely fight back. You'd have no choice than to choke on your anger and frustration.
I have seen alot of grown up men who are never in good terms with their brothers, even women too. The reasons for this coldness is not often far-fetched. There was already a faulty foundation in their childhood.
The best approach is to always show love it and affection right from the younger days. Even if they had done something wrong, speak with them gently and make them realize their mistake too. Even if they continue to repeat the same mistake always, continue to be patient with them over and over again. Always console yourself with the knowledge that you are not only older than them, but also smarter, wiser and more experienced in life .
You could even ignore or simply keep quiet about the whole affair and pretended as if nothing ever happened. Soon they'd be the one to come to you and say "sorry" when the guilt of what they had done constantly nudge on their conscience.
Believe me, when they come of age and wiser, you'd be surprised that the do anything that they would do anything just to make you happy and always try their best to impress you. And that was because back in the days, you were always patient with them when you had every reason to be angry at them. You had coped with their arrogance and tried your best to bring out the best in them when they had expected you to curse or hit them .
When I was much younger, there was a day that I lost the phone of a much older cousin. The phone was actually a new phone.
She was really hurt about this but she never showed her anger or yelled at me. She just went into her room and locked herself up . This came as a big surprise to me because I was expecting a really good beating from her.
From that day henceforth, my love and affection for her tripled and I don't think I would ever hesitate whenever she wanted my help, no matter how difficult her request might be for me.
Sometimes, we subconsciously or deliberately relegate our younger siblings to the "Lil bro or lil sis" status even though they have become adults capable of fine thinking like any other persons. We are quite reluctant to accept the fact that a younger sibling can become more intelligent or wiser than us.
Later in life, you'd realize that a much younger sibling could give you the brightest ideas of what to do to salvage a sinking marriage, relationship, business or career.
The advice given to us by a younger brother or sister could prove more effective and practical than that given by a parent. Don't forget that the both of you have similar life experiences compared to the old folks. It'd be much easier to relay your feelings to a younger sibling who is also an adult than to a parent.
That annoying little girl or boy of yesteryears could be the most perfect sister or brother that have ever lived. Lol.
*******************************
Thank you for staying with me ♥️♥️
Mummy's Call
Sometimes, your mom would give you a call, and before even answering, you'd already know what she wants to talk about.
To all my readers, commenters, upvoters, subscribers and sponsors, I say a very big thank you
I don't know about others, bit in my part of the world, most young adults, especially the ladies usually store mom's number with a beautiful pet name. It could be: sweet mother, lovely mom, my bestie, my heart...
When I was still a fresher at the University, mom calls me like everyday. Most times, I would already know what her words will be even before answering the call. It's always the usual lines.... "How are you my dear... How is studies... Hope you have eaten.... Hope you slept well....". And I always gave her the automatic answer. Sometimes, I'd sense the next question that she would ask me, and would answer it even before she asked and we would laugh at each other.
Up till this moment, whenever I am having a conversation with a person and I get a phone call from mother. I'd briefly answer it and tell her to call me later since i was already talking to someone.
This is because I know my mom very well, she might say that she called just to check on me. A call that shouldn't take more than a minute might get to five or seven minutes. Lol, you know how the conversation between a mother and a daughter always drags on. I wouldn't want the other person to start feeling awkward or disrespected.
There's always alot of things to talk about between a mom and a daughter even though both have just been separated for only a short time.
Unlike young adults, parents don't usually hide their feelings, emotions, plans and fears from thier children. They'd tell all their worries about you, about your father, about your brother, about your kind of job, about the kind of friends that you keep, your health and their own health too.
They just want to keep talking to you even though you are already exhausted after a long day. And you dare not tell Mom that there's nothing to worry about. She'd immediately launch into a barrage of history lessons of how she had in the past brought up some important observations but you ignored her warnings and advise, and your stubbornness led you into serious trouble. You'd end up spending more time listening to her rambles .Lol, Moms are just so amazing .
Strangely, boys don't spend much time discussing with their dad on phone as much as they do with their mothers. In my part of the world, When you see a boy having a long conversation with his dad on phone, then you should know that he had done something wrong, or had refused to take an advice and his father is scolding him at the moment.Lol.
Just yesterday evening, I was viewing my Twitter feeds then I saw something that really caught my attention.. A young man was complaining bitterly in his tweet that his mother-in-law was always calling his wife and the incessant calls have began to annoy
often times when he's having a very interesting discussion with his wife, her mother would suddenly call and this might lead to mother and daughter spending quite sometime together on the phone. According to him, when his wife starts to speak with her mom, she totally forgets about him.
I couldn't help but imagine his wife talking and laughing with her mom while he looks on helplessly and I really felt sorry for him. I quite understood his feelings.
And when she'd finally finished talking with her mom, the conversation that she was having intiially with the husband might lost its taste and become uninteresting.
He had also complained that thid mother-daughter chit- chat also interrupts his sleep at night
There was a time he couldn't take this anymore and this led to a serious confrontation between him and his wife . He vowed to give his mother-in-law a piece of his mind anytime they met.
Its a known fact that alot of women still maintain a very strong bond with their mothers. Some Mother's would still continue to be their daughter's closest companion even after marriage, especially in my parts of the world.
The old lady might probably have missed her daughter so much. I doubt the man ever knew the kind of relationship between his wife and her mother before he married her. Maybe he's the very emotional or very sensitive type. You could call him jealous if you want to.
Of course, I know it's wrong for a mother to be calling her married daughter late in the night when couples should be together, except in times of emergency or danger. I perfectly understand his anger towards that. But he could have advised his wife to instead talk as much as she wanted with her mom during the day when he's at the office. Then when he returns home at night, him and his wife would have their own moments.
So, It's quite unnecessary getting angry at his wife's mom, especially when she's not saying anything to her daughter that might destroy or threaten her marriage. I wonder how he would react if he ever caught his wife in a phone conversation with her lover.
I know some men wouldn't see that as a big deal. There are men out there who see their mother in-law the way they see their own mother and always regard them in an equally nice manner.
******************************
Thank you very much for staying with me.
♥️♥️
Ever felt awkward after hearing someone else's problem?
"You can't help me, nobody can. You wouldn't understand, believe me you dont want to hear this".....
These might be a the hurting responses of an older friend, a kind boss, a loving neighbor, a caring colleague , a favourite cousin, aunty or uncle who is in great distress and anxiety, when we try to know what the cause of their worries.
You could feel his or her pains and it breaks your heart seeing such a nice person going through such level of agony. You wouldn't have any peace of mind unless you were able to unravel the cause of this misery and try to offer a healing hand.
You'd say to yourself, "I just have to do something to help him, there must be something that I can do. He shouldn't be passing through all this alone. This is the time to prove myself to him. Yes this is my turn to help him..."
We would have already concluded in our minds even before hearing what the problem was that we would sure be able to help that nice man or woman.
He or she might be in such a sad mood for days and you just feel that you just can't take it anymore. But after much persuasions and coersion, you finally succeed in getting that person to speak to you.
As soon you finished listening to him speak. The shock and gravity of what he had just said might throw you off balance.
Never in your wildest imagination would you have thought that the person would ever mess up himself so bad.
As a matter of fact, you would never have believed if you were told by anyone else, that a person of such status or integrity would fall into such temptation. But right now , you have heard from the horse's mouth and "it is what it is"
You have finally talked him into telling you his problem and you are now completely dumbfounded. You mind is totally paralyzed by this shocking revelation and you are just as confused as your friend. But, moments ago, You have thought it was something that you could help out with and you were very eager to help.
Finding yourself in this kind of situation can be such a big dillema and you might start to feel guilty immediately, since you have realized that you can't help him like you had earlier thought.
You might even regret the moment you began to coerce that person to share his burdens with you. Instinctively, you now know that you can't just leave him alone with the burdens now that he has told you about it.
For a split second, you might feel like running away from that individual, leaving him to carry his cross alone lest the both of you drown together.
But you know you wouldn'tdo that, that's not the kind of person you are. Infact, that kind of thinking are nothing but whispers of demons into your pure heart and of course you would never listen to that.
Still, you don't have the slightest idea of the kind of advice or assistance that can help him out and you are quite sure that you can never come up with anything helpful no matter how much you try.
Now, you are slowly getting out of the shock and gradually regaining your composure. Instinctively, You know you just have to be strong for that person since you are now his new confidant . Your minds gets clearer now as you are quite sure that you both would stick together to the end of it all.
You begin to pick your words gradually. "Pls take it easy dear, it's going to be alright, you will be just fine"...
On hearing this words, the other person might become more miserable as he is now very sure that neither you or anyone else could ever help him out of his predicament.
I have found myself in such a dillema before when a friend of mine got her self into a serious trouble. As soon as she told me her worries, she burst into tears and I couldn't help but cry along. We cried together for almost fiftheen minutes
Seeing her going through so much pains without being able to do anything to help ease the pains made me cry more.. But, Alas," a problem shared is already half solved" . Atleast I could draw some confidence from this statement.
I never left her alone, I kept calling her in the evenings before going to bed just to make her feel better and lighter. Maybe she might get some level of comfort, knowing that someone else thinks about her problems too.
There was a time i thought about asking her to come over to stay at my place for the meantime. I was actually afraid she might harm herself if left alone to her troubles.
I also made sure I spent sometime with her every other day, then we start to discuss the problem from the beginning all over again in the hope of exploring a loophole that we might use to our advantage and probably get a way around a potential solution.
Talking about a problem with a close friend regularly , can somehow make it less heavier I guess. One would gradually, albeit subconsciously build the confidence and gusto to face whatever consequences your previous unthought actions might bring in the nearest future
*******************************
Thank you so much for staying with me. Really very sorry for not visiting all your arts yesterday 🙏🙏🙏🙏 . I was really tired and sick after a hectic day. I promise to do my best to checkout some of them before the day is over.
Yours lovely.
Bilqees
♥️♥️
Braiding problems
Helloy lovelies.. Trust you all enjoyed wonderful last weekend f the month. I am sincerely wishing you all a more happier and fun filled month.
A very big thank you to all my sponsors, readers, subscribers, up voters and commenters 💗💗
So sorry this today's article is coming very late. I have been passing through cnnectivity problems throughtout the day.
Over here, there has been a restriction in vehicular movement and commercial activities. This has always been the norm in my country. There's this policy that set aside every last weekend of the month for general environment sanitation .
Every citizen is expected to remain at home and be engaged in the general cleaning of their environment so as to promote hygienics in our fatherland. This exercise usually last from 6am -10am and any moving vehicles sighted would be conisticated by the authorities.
Looking out of my window, I spotted one or two vehicles being held by the local authorities for breaking the rule. Shortly,a fine would definitely be paid to a cop while the driver waits in the car till 10am when he would be allowed to move. Children can also be seen jumping happily on the empty highway while young adults engage in a game of football near the children, leaving their parents and the elderly to do all the clean-up at home.
Well I slept quite badly and woke up with a lot of pains in my head. Actually I came around twice in the night before morning due to the horrible headache I was having on my crown.
My new braids made me uncomfortable throughout the night, I kept turning my head from side to side on my pillow in the hope of getting an appropriate relief point, but it seemed like the more i spin, the more painful it gets.
I finally got off bed in the middle of the night out of exasperation. I couldn't get ice to apply at the pressure points cause there was no electricity.
Before getting the braids done, I already knew it would hurt a little but I also knew I could hold in the pains for a day or two then it would be good. By the way, I don't like taking pain relievers if i am sure that a pain will go away soon , especially when i ain't sick. I should have bought a specific hair oil to apply at the pressure points on the braids but it skipped my mind when I was at the market yesterday.
Braids are very beautiful you know, especially when you whirl your head side ways, the image of yourself you'd see in the mirror is pretty nice. Lol.
But due to the little pains a new braiding might give, most women prefer to fix their hair instead. Another snag is that a really splendid braid might take over two hour or even more before completion .
Of course its not every lady that would find the patience of sitting that long on a particular spot in making a braid that would still be disentangled in a relatively short time when it loses its glow and appeal.
You can get quite dull sitting that long at a spot while your stylist work on your hair especially when its mini braids. I past the time by listening to some good music with my headphones , and soon, we are done.
When I was younger, I sometimes playfully call my younger brother some silly names when he's done a silly thing. Shortly after, he would go behind me when I was not looking and drag one of my new braids and would not release them until I start screaming in pains. I think thats his best form of having his revenge as he always smile afterwards.
Recently a neighbor of ours had a little squabble with his wife because she took too long at the braiding shop while she left the kids at home.
The kids were not left on their own perse. She kept them at our place and we had already fed them before her husband returned home. Maybe the man just had a bad day at work and was unconsciously venting out his frustration on the poor lady. Or maybe he was actually hungry at the time.
I heard the woman responding to her husband in a sharp voice" had it been the two children were girls, i would have taken them along to get their braids done too. But since they were boys, they had no business in a female saloon and i just had to dump them at home while i go get my beautiful braids".
Her husband stood speechless when he heard this and the young lady angrily went into the house. I found this very amusing and I couldn't help laughing at the young man.
Sometimes ago, when i had just recently had a braiding, I met a female soldier at an event and she told me she really liked it. But unfortunately, she couldn't have the type of hairstyle because of the nature of her profession. She said she wouldnt even like to fix extensions or wear a wig. According to her, it made her feel weaker. She preferred to keep her hair on a low cut always, like that of a guy and honestly, she looked smart and beautiful in a unique way.
A lady's hair is her natural endowment and a young lady Should strive to always keep it beautiful through what ever way she deems fit,so long as it makes her glow and more confident in herself.
Whenever a woman gets a new hairstyle, even though she doesn't deliberately show it off, she is sure to get one or two nice complements about her hair which will surely give her a boost of self love and confidence.
"*Hair* *doesn't* *define* a *young* *woman*, *but* a *nice* *hair* *surely* *helps* "
************************
Thank you for staying with me. 💗
Woman never leaves her children
Hello every one . hope you all had a great and fun filed day... Wishing you all a more blissful weekend.
A big thank you to my sponsors, readers, subscribers, and commenters. 💗
I was in the TGIF mood as soon I woke up and I instinctively decided to go make my hair just to welcome the new month in style. Though its been quite some time now that I had braids but I find it more beautiful than weave- ons. Braiding is the the simplest and commonest hairdo in my parts of the world. I don't have to comb or brush my braids all the time, unlike artificial hair or wigs.
Although, it might hurt especially when the the braids are new, since the hair follicles are been pulled away from their roots. Sometimes the pains become uncomfortable as a woman might find it difficult to sleep well at night with her head placed on the pillows. We don't really Care, so long as we look good on braids and there are people out there that adnire it. Lol. Afterall childbirth is very painful, but that's not sufficient reason for stopping women from getting pregnant.
My hairstylist is simply the best and I have known the woman for a long time now. She arguably had the most customers compared to other hairstylists in the market. She had that natural skill for making good braids anf her braids are less painful on the head.
I think I have a natural talent for dancing, but i have never danced in public , lest somebody might see me and say that i was just forcing it and don't really know how to dance (You know how dancing is, Lol).
In the absence of a husband, this young lady is able to feed and take care of her two children with the modest income she earns from using her God-given talents. Whenever its Christmas or new year, she gets more clients as patronage generally increases during this period because alotbof women would love to get their hairs done.
We all know that one of the most upsetting circumstances that could ever be experienced by a mother is to see her children remain at home while other kids learn at school due to the inabilty to pay their tuition fee.
From the money generated, she's able to save something for her children's tuition fee pending January when school resumes. She tells me she doesn't joke with her children's education, that she could even sell her jeweleries and shoes so that her kids can get a decent education. Her life's story is quite a sad and familiar one to we all.
Growing up, I have seen alot of young girls who had to abandon their education because they had suddenly got pregnant, which im most cases wasnt their fault.
They never had much choice than to sacrifice their dreams and aspirations for a daunting journey into motherhood they never prepared for, either as a single parent or a wife to a tricky partner.
I don't think I have ever seen or heard about a guy who dropped out of school because he had got a lady pregnant.
" I can't have a baby now, I am too young and not ready to be a father. I have a future ahead of me". A young man would say. Some might even deny the pregnancy even though he knows very well that he was the only one . In a desperate attempt to save face, he might suggest abortion, which a sensible young lady would vehemently decline.
At the climax, the only option left for her would be to go live with her mom or the boy's parents with her child, thereby putting her life on hold while the young man continues to chase his life's ambition.
In my society, a woman can always endure an abusive marriage or a cheating partner for the sake of her kids. No matter the trials that she's passing through, she'd definitely put her kids first because of the strong bond they share. A separation from their father would really cause the innocent children an emotional trauma. Other kids might ridicule them when they find out that that their parents are now apart. A mother is always conscious of this fa t whenever she's facing challenges in her matrimonial home.
In a lot of societies, women are under pressure as the society always believe that it is the duty of a woman to redeem her marriage even when it becomes obvious that she was never the one at fault. In most cases, a woman makes an all-out effort to salvage her marriage even if it were at the brink of collapse. Not for herself but for the sake of her children.
*****************************
Thank you for staying with me 💗
Try to visit an hospital premises once in a while
Hello beautiful souls...
I don't know if its just me but I observed that January came and went almost quickly. It is a popular remark when people say "The first month of the year seems longer than any other month". Some might even say that January feels like two months in one. Lol.
This is quite understandable as most people are generally short of funds in the first month of the year, due to the yuletide season of the previous year which often makes one spend above their budget, consequently making the new month quite rough and tough for them.
Thanks to readcash and Mr. Marc, and you my lovely friend, I had some extra income, so I sailed through January smoothly. Lol
THANK. YOU
During the weekend, I was alone at home and had nothing much to do. It felt quite bored and I decided to stroll to a nearby mall to get one or two things that I don't really need and probably do some sight seeing before returning home in the evening.
I was already made up when a call came through. I was told by a friend that the father of a mutual friend had been ill for the past two weeks and was admitted at the general hospital.
The girl on the line said that she was about to go pay them a visit at the hospital and asked me if I would also like to come along. I readily agreed, we met at a bus stop and took off to the hospital.
Our friend's dad was really responding to treatment and was already getting better. We met him sitted in an upright position, he smiled as he recognized us. We chatted with the old man for a while. Thanks to read cash, was able to get some fruits and energy drink for him.
When it was time for us to leave, our friend volunteered to take us on a tour round the hospital environment. What we saw around the hospital premises almost moved me to tears.
My dear friends, a lot of people are suffering, a lot of people are dying.
There was this particular patient I saw in the male ward who was booked for surgery as he had a terminal kidney disease. The operation should have been done earlier but was still delayed as he was the twentieth person on the queue as of that day. The medical facilities needed for the procedure were very few and could only serve two patients per day due to the long hours involved in the surgery. It was only two government hospitals that had the kind of equipment for the surgery in the whole state .
Another look at this man will make you wonder if he would survive the next hour as he was in serious pains. This was a country that her leaders fly abroad just to fix a tooth ache while her citizens are left to languish in the indigenous hospitals due to inadequate funding of the health sector.
Some minutes later, we heard a heart-wrenching wail at the other corner of the ward. I knew instinctively that some one had just died and my heart sank .
His family had been thrown into deep agony as they watch their breadwinner been snatched away by the cold hands of death. I saw a nurse yelling at the deceased relatives. She claimed that the patient died because they couldn't pay their outstanding medical bills and also buy the prescribed drugs, so the hospital had to discontinue the treatment.
This was really sad and i felt a sharp stab of pain at my heart. How could life be do unfair? Some people kill thousands of dollars on things they don't really need: exotic cars, expensive vacations and the rest which wouldn't add anything to their lives. On the other hand, a huge percentage of the citizens cannot afford a few hundred dollars to save their lives
We were about to go take a look at the A&E department, but I decided that I have seen more than enough. I can't afford to be more tearful and heartbroken than i was already. I told the other two that I had to go home now. After all, its useless feeling sorry for other people when you can't help them ease away or even lessen their pains.
I thought, instead of showing emotions and sympathy, I should rather be challenged to develop myself rapidly so that in the near future, I could be in a position to try and save these dying people.
******************************
No matter what you are passing through in life, no matter how bad you think your situation is, visiting a hospital environment would make you see more than a thousand reasons to be grateful for your life. You'd forget all your troubles for the rest of the month.
Thank you for staying with me.
💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗
Dear ma'am, This is really huge and unbelievable. @Talecharm,Thank you so much for considering me worthy of your generosity. Heaven knows that I can't express how grateful and happy I am
When your own mother start to ask you about your age
Good day beautiful friends. Trust you all had a wonderful and fulfilled day. ...
Well some of you might already have an inking to what the above title means, especially if you are living in the tropical region of the world. Lol.
When a parent, especially a mother asks her son this question: " my son, how old are you?". It means that she is not only anxious, but also angry at her son due to his inability to bring a daughter-inlaw home, especially when the grown up son is doing quite well financially.
Mama begins to wonder what else would be stopping him from taking a wife. This question "how old are you" ( which figuratively means, when are you going to get married) is not always asked to a daughter, since its somebody else's son that would come to ask for our hand in marriage.
So, The best a mother can do for her grown up but unmarried daughter is to pray that a good and responsible man locates her. But as a male child, you are expected to go bring a wife home as soon as you have got a decent job and can settle your bills comfortably.
Marriage is still a very sacred and respected institution in the native culture. It is always a great pride and fulfillment to a mother the day her son or daughter finally gets wedded.
As a matter of fact, a mother's guests usually constitute about fifty percent of the entire wedding population. Sometimes,you wouldn't know who the happiest person is between the bride, the bride's mom and the groom's mom. Getting married is such a big achievement to them all.
Earlier today, I remembered an old African movie I watched years ago. The young man arrived home to his widowed mother after being away at the city for three years. It was during Christmas and he bought a lot of presents for his beloved mother.
But to his shock, his mother blatantly refused to accept the gifts. The old woman told him to his face that she cared less about his money nd material possessions. All she wanted was to see a grandchild before her time's up.
Frankly speaking, she told her son to leave her house and return to where ever he was coming from and bring back "the perfect gift", a wife. She called the other gifts and the son's car "useless".
Her son's childhood friend who also came back from the city tried to calm the disgruntled old lady, but she yelled at him too as he was also a bachelor. She kept screaming at the two gentlemen.
" How old are you victor, how old are you James? You both are in your middle thirties . Both of you are already doing well in your chosen business and career but yet to refuse to settle down". "All my mates and sisters had already seen up to three of their grandkids but I don't even have one". The old lady lamented in a shaky voice.
"Is it when I have departed the earth that my grandkids will begin to com"? She began to sob at this point and I felt really sorry for her even though I initially found the scene funny.
The two gentlemen continued to plead with mummy to take it easy but she ignored them, stood up from the ground, walked briskly to the house and slammed the door shut.
It was quite clear that she had been in emotional pains for a long time and always felt empty in her soul as she watch her peers doting on their numerous grandkids. She just couldn't take it anymore.
This movie really reflected what goes on in my society. personally, I have observed that quite a number of young men who are already well-to-do still will not consider marriage at the moment.
I find this quite weird. When a man is poor or broke, he would blame his financial condition for his inability to get a wife. But when things get much better for him and his financial status raised,he may still be reluctant to get married.......... .....
******************************
Thank you so much for staying with me.
My day had been very busy and I had to quickly rack my brain for a topic before today is over. Pls do pardon me if yii find the article quite short and uninteresting.
@Bilqees
