Interfering in a couple's dispute Hello my dear friends. I trust you all had an amazing weekend. Just as we all know, weekends are for weddings and you had the opportunity of attending one today. It was quite obvious that the 👰 was already pregnant and I observed that the baby bump made her look quite awkward in the gown....Lol, I'm sorry for sounding silly. Well, It really proved to be worth it as it helped me came up with an idea of today's article. I strongly believe that issues regarding married folks are very sensitive and personal. Couples should always sort out their differences between themselves with little or no involvement of an outsider especially one who is not a member of the extended family. Personally, I don't think I would ever interfere in a couple's row . It's not as if I wouldn't love to help a married sis in distress who needs my advice neither would I love to see a friend suffer in her matrimonial home. I just believe she understands her husband better than any other person including his parents and friends. In the absence of domestic violence or a deadly situation, she alone have the power to salvage her marriage, not her friend, parent or even pastor.
I won't deny that I always feel sorry when I see her in distress as she talks about her challenges even though I'd tactfully try to change topics because it makes me quite uncomfortable. I'd be very grateful if she never brought up her marital issues into our conversation. But when she becomes adamant and would want to hear my opinion or seek my advice, I try to pick my words carefully and be as unbiased and unintentional as possible when discussing her partner's ills. I'd tell her that she will be included in my prayers after advicing her to talk to her parents or his parents about the matter. But I'd never impose my opinion on her marriage. It's dangerous to favour one partner over the other in a marital disagreement you know. There isn't any marital problem that is entirely the fault of the man or woman. Apart from the words you have been told, you definitely don't know what had actually transpired between both since you are not living under thesame roof with them. Except you are called upon by both parties for a counseling session I don't mean that it is totally wrong to help save a struggling marriage. Sometimes your assistance would help turn things around and be you will be greatly appreciated. But on the other hand, it might boomerang on you and you d be tag a bad advicer. This is because I don't think any man or woman would be happy when their marital secrets are revealed to a third party . Especially when that outsider is not a member of the extended family. At the end, when she finally begins to see the light, your friend's partner might accuse you of giving his wife wrong ideas about him. You'd also be termed as the girl who is trying to tear the couples apart. If he is the manipulative type, he might not find it difficult to convince his wife or girlfriend that you are "jealous "of their relationship especially when you are still single. Ofcourse the woman would finally agree after all the smooth talks and a quality time together. You'd be used as an alibi to cover the partner's fault. You will be used to solve their marriage dispute and discarded ASAP. Your relationship between you and your friend could become strained since her partner had made her believe that you don't mean well for her.
In my parts of the world, whenever a woman returns to her parents house after a misunderstanding with her husband without him sending her packing, a mother might want to take side with her daughter. But a wiser father would immediately send her back to her husband's house the next day to go fix her marriage. Afterall, she wasn't forced to marry him. She chose him herself and it was expected that she had known him so well and how to handle him before deciding to spend the rest of her life with him. The best a parent can do is to offer useful martial advise to their married children and correct them when they are wrong. But never should they interfere in their marriage. Ultimately, the success of a marriage lies in the hands of the couples and not with a third party. ****************************** Thank you for staying with me ♥️
17 comments
I feel sad for her though, but the fact remain the Fact, don't be a judge over a dispute between couples especially when the judge is a single person, I remember my cousin telling her friend that the boy she's dating is cheating on her, her friend immediately confronted her boyfriend, after all the talk, my cousin was seen to be the bad person and they never post to her again... So being an adviser for a couple is a very big role to play
exactly, it's better to leave them alone.. they will be alright
Yes o... Happy Sunday dear
Dear Bilqees, you said great. In my opinion, we shouldn't interfere in the quarrel between couples at all, they will reconcile one day, and we may break down in the middle. If we have to get into this issue, neutrality is the best thing to do...
True dear... not good taking side, one's intention can be misconstrued.
I agree with you bil, only couple can solve all the problem within their relationships. It should be both talk about it sincerely.
Ofcourse ma'am, that's why they're are couple, they were made for each other
I never interfere. Let them calm down first & then walk with solution.
Lol. I think that's a wiser approach
The one that amazes me more than anything is the folks that bring their marital problems to social media 🤕 I see a lot of them on nairaland asking for advice on how to handle their partner and as usual a lot of people jump in trying to "help". I just wonder if the person will be able to filter out the good from the bad comments and doesn't end up ruining their marriage. I for one don't like it when people involve the public in their couple's dispute, they should learn how to solve it on their own
That's it. Infact nowadays it seems everyone on the net is a relationship counsellor. They never fail to give unsolicited advice even without fully reading and understanding the full story to the end.
They will just listen to one side of the story and immediately draw conclusion, dem full nairaland
Omo. I never advise a friend that is in love, not to mention a married person. If you come to me with your relationship/marriage problems, I just nod and give expressions, and say "You two will figure it out" no more than that
Lol @ never advise a friend that is in love. 😂 I just thought about a Nollywood movie u watched sometimes ago I can't just stop laughing
After giving them a fair advice, and they eventually make peace and come forget, most times the advicer is seen as a bad person especially when the advice was given to a one of them. I'm too careful on putting mouth in marriage issues, infact i dodge from it always. The ones I fall victims on always is the RELATIONSHIP stuff(boyfriend and girlfriend). Fees years ago, a lady I know called to seek advice on her boyfriend, the guy was fighting her peace and it made her look she doesn't have a say. The guy has her social media details which he login to check messages regular, he monitors her calls and all movement. This guy made her not to talk to any guy,,,and fight occurs every now and then. I told her the whole truth to leave the guy because the signs are too much. She agreed but she couldn't because love has covered her eyes. They reconciled and I was seen as the bad advicer(the funny thing is that the guy is my friend too). Late last year, she got pregnant and the guy rejected it. She remembered me again for advice, but...🤷🤷
Lol. Advise ke ? What advise d she want you to give her again. It's already end if story for her now. Na too learn lesson remain, that is if she will ever learn
Hahah🤣. I don't know how they did it, because as of that time, the both parents were aware and the guy still refused. But they are back together. Fear love!😂 I didn't even asked if the pregnancy was removed,,,the story go hit me again when the matter escalate. I'm not praying for such