Marriage; Why we do it

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Written by
2 years ago

Hello beautiful people, I had written this article on the bus travelling with some of my classmates from school to the institute I am to do the second phase of our Field Practical Training. This phase is to last about a month, and to keep my self distracted from the car sickness I am experiencing, I had to keep my mind busy with something and I thought since I’ll likely be tired on arrival to our destination why not just use this opportunity to write an article instead.

I was reading an article by @Bilqees titled Womb- watchers earlier and got the motivation to write about marriage and why some people do it. There are many reasons different people get married and the purpose of this article is to highlight some of them which I am familiar with. They include:

TO START A FAMILY/SETTLE DOWN

Though, this is the base reason most people get married as it is interwoven with the other reasons. Though, some just get married when they feel they are ready for it. It is usually done by males and not necessarily because they are in love. The routine is usually finding a girl they like, and marry her, and start a family. That is not to say they always treat the woman harshly, but with the courtesy one is expected to show the mother of their child(ren), especially in my parts of the world, where internalised misogyny and toxic masculinity runs deep in the society. Men have the tendency to feel like the woman they had paid her bride price for is theirs, like a property. And because the supposed lawlessness wills it, they can do with her as they see fit. Even when they are perpetrators of domestic violence, it is their right as they have paid her price. Usually, in this type of marriage, having children is not the only goal, but having a specific gender especially. Male children are usually the preference, and if the female gender is the product especially on more than one occasion, the woman is to blame and no one else.

FAMILY PRESSURE

This is quite common in my country, it gets to a certain age your parents and or family members think you are ready to have a child and to do that, you must first tie the knot. Sometimes, these parents simply pressure their children out of their own selfish desire to be grandparents simply because people their age group are grandparents already. Other times, the family think time is running out for their kinsman (Like there is a age one shouldn’t reach being single) – this is specifically for the female child, because she is a woman, and menopause isn’t far away, she should be making babies so we can be grandparents, uncles and aunties. Some parents even go as far as arranging a marriage – usually with someone from their tribe – for their children. (Arranged marriage is another topic for another time). As the parents have become a stakeholder in the marriage because they found you a wife, they are constantly putting pressure on the couple to start a family and birth children. This usually causes rift between the husband, his mother and the wife.

LOVE

One of the most common and usual reason for marriage as it is often used to disguise other reasons. Done with the hopes of happily ever after, and living out your days with your other half, it is supposed to be the foundation on which every marriage is based “… to LOVE and to cherish…”. Although, I don’t think there could be anything more beautiful than spending the rest of your life with your other half. In this type of marriage, the couple is not under pressure to make babies, and if they are ready to start a family, they decide to together and birth children as a product of their love.

CONCLUSION

I have decided to limit this article to two major reasons, and they are reasons I am familiar with because they are common in my parts of the world. While the first two reasons tend not to be a happy marriage as there are pressure to procreate and even more pressure when it is not happening, it is best to stick with the best reason to indulge in marriages, which is the last reason stated above LOVE.

It is worth saying that I didn’t end up writing the article in the bus, but instead finished when I arrived at our destination.

Thank You For Reading 🖤🖤

Special appreciation to @Mictorrani for the sponsorship renewal, I appreciate the support and can’t thank you enough.

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2 years ago

Comments

I'm not a big fan of marriage, I prefer the single life.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Hehehe. That's okay too. I suppose you have your own reasons for that. Plus marriage is not a must

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Marriage is anther level of stress which I wish I could escape from. Unfortunately, I'd have to get married at some point.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Well, it is not a must you get married, if we're being honest. And you could decide not to yourself

$ 0.00
2 years ago

This true. I think more people get married due some pressures this day than for the cause of love. Which ever one, Love should be the bedrock of any aim to get married.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

You are right my friend

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I agree with the two reasons you have given :) Although these days here in our place, family pressure won't make one get married :)

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Then, that's a good thing to hear about your place. Thanks for coming by

$ 0.00
2 years ago

You are welcome Aimure :)

$ 0.00
2 years ago

These are very true. I also believe marrying for love and to start a family are reasons that should exist together because it's not enough to start a family with someone you don't love and vice versa.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

I agree with you too. But people do it nonetheless. Especially with the impression that they will grow to love the other person eventually

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yeah, that's true

$ 0.00
2 years ago

What's worst is that Family pressure. I'm still lucky coz even yhat I'm already 27 Mom don't force me to settle down Well, It's still me who's gonna decide it so no one can dictate me I don't want to get married.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

It is nice to hear that she isn't putting any pressure on you, and as you have said, it is up to you to decide, no one else

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2 years ago

Yesh, I'm really thankful so here I am still enjoying my freedom 😊🥳

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2 years ago

They get married because they don't want to become old without offspring. Or they just want to have a partner for the rest of their life. Many of us getting older and without even notice we don't have any companion, yes it's tough because no ones their for you to help. Yes I agree with you to start a marriage we must settle down conflicts and problems.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Totally agree with all you've said

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2 years ago

Love must be the number one reason why we should marry a person as it is the only reason why the marriage life of a couple last till eternity. Luckily I wasn't pressured and forced by anyone to get married

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Sadly, a lot of people don't much care about love, and have the impression that they will learn to love their partner in the long run.

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2 years ago

many reasons why everyone should get married one reason is also because of the spiritual life that teaches to have children and grandchildren and will leave parents and unite with husband or wife, but also another reason is to channel desires or relationships that often arise from the mind of someone feeling love. The reality that happens in this day and age is that getting married is a way to get out of trouble for promiscuity.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

I agree with you one this. Thank you for stopping by

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2 years ago

Tying a knot or marriage, I think we do it for not just because of formalization of the relationship. As what you have said above, family pressure and love are the common reasons. As for me, marriage is a sacramental union. So, I will not allowed any pressures to push me doing it even I am not still ready because if doing so, I may regret it afterwards. Well, it comes different everyone. Just base on my on thoughts my friend. Hehe..

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Your thoughts are very much appreciated dear. And Saline too. We shouldn't allow ourselves be pressured into marriage as it can lead to one being in an unhappy marriage

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2 years ago

You said it right. If it will happen, I could feel terrible being in unhappy marriage then...

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2 years ago

We do it so that we can start a new life together. We cannot stay alone. We need someone to share our emotional stats.

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2 years ago

Very right about that. What's all that memories without someone to share it with

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2 years ago

Indeed sometimes family pressure pushes us to get married to a certain age evne though we are not ready or didn't like to get married yet. Well we cannot blame the society and how it works.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

I suppose you're right, but we can try to change the society for better, don't you think?

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2 years ago

Indeed. Love should be the chief reason. This family pressure really destroy lives. I remember a dude who died as a result of "you am not getting any younger" pressure from the family. That rushed him to go and marry a wife that led to his downfall.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

That's quite sad to hear. We should try to ensure that we are not pressured into doing what we don't want to, so we don't regret it for the rest of our life

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2 years ago