Respect is earned not given

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Written by
2 years ago
Topics: Family problem

I believe all of us have been taught by our parents and elders about giving respect to others specially to the ones who is much older than you. It has been an old practice in our everyday life to respect each and everyone because we all have different beliefs in life. In our country we have different religions so you could say that everyone has different point of view when it comes to this and that. But if people respected each other’s religion there would be no problem at all.

Now I come up with this topic because I really wanted to release this hard feelings I’ve been keeping on. I am confident to share this because I know no one from the family will be able to read this. This is about my husband’s oldest brother. I really have high respect for him ever since I got to meet him, because of many good things he has done for his family according to my husband’s story. I met him actually when he isn’t married yet and I can tell he was indeed a good brother. He loves to study too, in fact he is a graduate of UP, has double masterals and a PHD graduate in one of the university in Japan. With that I respected him more.

But when pandemic happened, the respect I have for him went down the drain. Honestly I am okay with my in laws family, except his family. Ever since he got married, there has always been an issue which caused by his wife. I can’t count how many times our family engaged in an argument because of them. That even a little problem about this and that, always seems to be a big problem to them. If I am going to lists down it all we might end up tomorrow. My husband’s siblings were all boys. Three of them including my husband were married, so I have two sisters in law. I got along well with the other one who is a teacher, meanwhile the other one, I respect her because she is somehow older than me. But honestly I am annoyed at her because she seems to hate us even from the start. Imagine the struggles we had for years. And right now I lost all the respect I have for her too, just like her husband. I know this isn’t a good attitude to possess but after years of belittling us I finally lost my last drop of respect for them.

Is it bad to talk about someone which you considered family for years? I can really say that sometimes blood is no longer thick than water. I heard a lot stories such this. When of all the people you’re hoping to help you when you have nothing, ignores you. During pandemic, my husband’s stopped working same as her two brothers. The youngest isn’t working yet. The only one who is working is his big brother who got a high paying job. It all started when he give us a 5000 php or approximately $100 because the big brother sold his second hand car, he isn’t gonna used it since he is working from home aside from that they have another car which his wife is using. It was all okay, until he wanted to know what have we done with the money? Like he was expecting we should have used it to earn profit like selling this and that. In the first place we didn’t expect money from him and we aren’t asking too. I remember also, during that time a cousin of my husband, gave us the same amount but we didn’t hear anything from him. In fact he was always vocal that if there’s anything he can helped he is willing to extend his hand.

When it comes to money why do people even your immediate family tend to ruin the relationship? Is money that important more than your family. Isn’t it supposed to be the opposite? Honestly my husband’s big brother says a lot of hurtful statements during that time, that makes us wonder where is the old him? Marriage life changed him, and a lot of his relatives can attest to that.

As of now, I stay civil to him, like last week he visited my father in law, for the first time after the pandemic began, he was living in Los Baños now with his family. Since we didn’t came, my youngest brother in law brought us some share of the food they brought. Of course, I messaged him, saying how thankful I am for the food. He told me that his wife cooked it, now how am I gonna say thanks to his wife, when she blocked us in fb for the reason I don’t know. That’s also one of the reason I am disappointed with her, you are supposed to be a big sister for us and yet you’re the one acting immature here.

Just last night, my husband told me about the message his big brother has for their cousin about posting something that has to do with politics. The message seems to be demanding too. I was like, if you want me to respect your personal views and choice, you should respect ours too. We all have different choices in life, if my views differs from you, isn’t the right thing to do is give respect to it and not forced someone to believe in what you believe.

I am sorry for venting out my feelings here regarding this. I hope you can bear with my article for today. Anyway it’s another day of the month, now before I end this up, I would like to give a special shout out to a very good virtual friend @Jeansapphire39 thank you for the sponsorship. May god bless you more and more😍 And please don’t forget to check all my lovely sponsors below.

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Avatar for yhanne
Written by
2 years ago
Topics: Family problem

Comments

Malaking check.! Kaya hindi din ako masisi kung ganun ang bigay ko sa kanila

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2 years ago

I dunno, iba talaga nagagawa din ng pera sa tao minsan eh. Hays anyways, sana naman marealized na ng sister-in-law mo yung mga mali niya sis.

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2 years ago

This kind of situation sis is too common. Sabi nga ng mother in law ko,minsan yung mga sister's in law natin sila din ung sumisira sa samahan ng magkakapatid. Honestly I also have a sister in law, Siya din minsan yung nagiging dahilan ng misunderstanding ng pamilya namin, masyado kasing sumbongera tapos madalas may pasobra na. Feeling kawawang kawawa siya though siya nman talaga ang may mali. Then of course, kakampi sa kanya kuya ko

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Kainis no sis, ganyan na ganyan yung sis in law ko, akala mo kawawang kawawa sila. Napakaechosera pati nun kaya di ko kaya di na ako nafacebook dahil sa kanya, bantay sarado mga posts ko, pero ngayon pede na kasi blinock nya kami, kapal ng mukha🙊

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2 years ago

Respect is earned, not given” suggests that if you want to be respected, you cannot force people to respect you just because you want them to. ... At the same time, you aren't obliged to respect someone if you feel they don't deserve it.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Very true my dear friend:)

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2 years ago

Sobrang relate ako dito sis🥺 Dko alam saan ko pa mailalagay ang kabaitan ko hehe. Ung tipong ikaw ang nasa alinlangan pero mkikita mo tlaga ung taong tutulong at mghuhusga sayo.

Older brother ni mama sobrang d ko ma gets anong systema sa buhay nya. Galit na galit sya sa amin bkit dw ibinigay ni lolo ang 20k sa akin, as a matter of fact inutang ko un para ipambili ng laptop kasi sobrang need ko na tlga may demonstration ako sa inapplayn ko at wla ako mahiraman tsaka gabi lng free time ko ggawa ng lesson plan. Sure ako na babayaran ko tlga kasi kuripot lolo namin eh. Hahhaa kaya ayun dun ngsimula na hindi na pumupunta ang ilder brother n mama sa bahay inggit at galit. Hayssss kaya now I know whose there when I am needed them.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Kaya nga sis ano, kung sino pa ang dapat makaintindi sila pa ang makikitid ang utak, mahirap lang kasi part ng family nyo, naku, ang hirap maging mabait sis, pero ngayon talagang hindi ko pa kayang makipag usap sa asawa ng oldest brother ni hubby, kahit si hubby ganun din, kung tutuusin wala kaming ginawa sa kanila, eh di nga naming maranasan mangutang sa kanila, hala napahaba tuloy😁

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2 years ago

Hope everything's gonna be fine my friend. I'm praying for the best to come. Trust should be earned and valuable. We should not break someone's trust coz it's hard to fix it

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2 years ago

It's okay to open up your problem ate, were here for you and the whole read cash fam.. At sana ngaa we should think before we act because our minds reflect on how we act.. Pray lang sis that someday everything was gonna be okay.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Tama tama, naishare ko lang, at least dito di nila mababasa😁 🙈🙊

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2 years ago

Hahaha oo nga unless kung may read cash sila hahaha

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2 years ago

Naku wala yun🙊 Or so I thought, busy yun sa mga buhay buhay nila:)

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2 years ago

Sad to say pagdating sa pera nagkakaroon talaga ng di pagkakaunawaan but you are right, sana hopefully at the end of the day eh family pa rin kayo. About that sis-in-law, hayy baka menopausal na sis..Joke lang..

$ 0.02
2 years ago

hahaha! Naku mukhang wala ng pag asa yun sis, kung alam mo lang, di pa kami mag asawa ni hubby kontrabida na yun🙊 eh di naman sya kagandahan, minsan nga nagiging biruan sa pamilya eh yung papogian na lang ng mga anak hahaha!

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2 years ago

Ah kaya pala, baka insecure sayo sis.

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2 years ago

Naku wala naman ikakainsecure sakin sis, she is living the best of their life, kami sakto lang, yung tipong may makain pede na

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2 years ago

Kasi mas maganda ka sa kanya :D

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2 years ago

Charotera ka😁

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2 years ago

Hahahah

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2 years ago

Family Problem nga talaga sis yhanne.. Hayys, naku naman. Ang mas nakakalungkot na kapamilya mo sana pero ganyan yung mangyayari..

Hopefully, maging maayos ang lahat ng gusot na yan sis.. God Bless you!😇

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Sa ngayon sis civil lang, pero yung magbonding kami like we used to do, mukhang malabo muna sa ngayon, si hubby din ayaw eh, nawala rin un pagkataas taas na tingin nya sa kuya nya

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2 years ago

Hays marami ng ganyan sis. Ang bait pag okay pa yung sitwasyon pero pag hindi na, naku andaming sinasabi. Di ba dapat nagtulungan pero imbis na ganun ang gagawin, iba ang ipinakita...May attitude din pala yung big sis in law mo sis ano? Pero sige lang, hayaan na lang sila basta wala kang ginawang masama sa kanila. Si God na ang bahala sa mga taong ganyan.

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2 years ago

Naku sinabi mo pa sis, lumabas ang totoong ugali nung nagkapandemic, well actually ganun na talaga sya dati pa, mas lumala lang dahil sa pandemic😁 hay ekis na talaga sya sakin sis, ayoko sya makita sa ngayon

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2 years ago

Huwag muna pag aksayahan ng oras na isipin sila sis, masisira beauty mo niyan. Ignore mo nalang sila.

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2 years ago

Sira na sis, hahaha! naku di ko na talaga pinansin, eh etong asawa ko may pinabasang message kagabi, naalala ko tuloy😁

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2 years ago

Ay kaya naman pala, pag ganyan talaga, yung mg di magagandang alaala biglang mag flasback ano?

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2 years ago

hahaha! oo sis, di makamove on lang, naku kung alam mo lang sis, masyadong mahaba ang kwento na eto,di tayo matatapos neto, dahil sa asawa ni Kuya, pero parang ginusto nya din kasi in the first place sya ang lalaki hahayaan mo bang ganyanin ng asawa mo ang pamilya mo

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2 years ago

Ganyan talaga sis basta may sulsulera na asawa. Naimpluwensyahan na yung utak ng Kuya mo. Pero minsam kasi dahil sa pagmamahal nabubulagan na din minsan, para di sila mag away sinusunod nalang yung sinabi ng asawa, pwedeng ganun yung sitwasyon ng Kuya mo.

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2 years ago

I agree sis, ay ewan ko sa kanila😁 doon sya sa matapobreng pamilya ng asawa nya, sabi nga ni dade ung father in law ko, palitan nya na rin ang apilyedo nya🙊

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2 years ago

Haha, natawa ako sa palitan ang apelyido. Na stress na din pala father in law mo sa kanila sis? May kaya pala yung pamilya ng babae?

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2 years ago

Naku hindi naman mayaman na mayaman sis, sakto lang pero matapobre sis akalain mo ang katulong may sariling plato dapat, Naku di sila pinapansin ni biyenan minsan😁

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2 years ago

Those words are so harsh. Bat naman ganun no? Don't worry sis your not the only one suffering grom that situation but the thing here is hindi maging katulad sa kanila. We should think before we act talaga

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Oo nga sissy, madami na akong narinig na ganitong kwento, hindi pala talaga totoong blood is thicker than water, I mean hindi sya applicable sa aming pamilya, cguro sa iba, mapapasana all na lang ako😅

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2 years ago

This issue happens in many families, I remembered one incident from our headmaster in our school he used to say, "Bloody! give respect take respect:" it was this message he always used to give to all the defaulters.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

I know right, I heard a lot. of stories like this too, sadly I personally experienced it. Anyway thanks for dropping by:)

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2 years ago

A lot of tendencies happen like this sis. Yung mismong kadugo mo pa talaga maranasan which is hindi dapat. Sobrang nakakasad kasi sila yung kadugo mo at may connection tas ganun pa mangyayari.

Sobrang hurtful yung bibitaw ng mga masasakit na words sis. Yun lang talaga hindi ko gusto. Pray nalang natin sis ang lahat. Andiyan si God palagi.🙏

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Oo nga sis, nakakalungkot kasi mas painful yung nabibitawan nating salita, kaya nga dapat think before you speak. Hay I hope so sis, we’ll always be a family at the end of the day.

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2 years ago

Tama ka sis "Think before you speak" talaga kasi minsan padalos-dalos lang tas nakakasakit kana pala ng damdamin sa tao. Yes sis pray lang kay God maayos din ang lahat.🙏

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2 years ago

Oo nga sis, narealised nya yung mistake nya right after nyang masabi yun, eh kaya lang nasabi na nya nakasakit na sya ng damdamin, kaya si hubby ko masama ang loob sa kanya

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2 years ago

I saw that it takes qualification to get respect. You are right. Thanks for pointing out this kind of reality. Respect is something that comes out of the mind for people.

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2 years ago

Ang sakit sis ng ginawa nila at okay lng mg open up ka dito at least mabawasan skit na nararamdaman mo. Since nagka pandemic sis ang daming nagbago ang ugali tlga lalo na sa pera. Since mga kontrabida ang side ni partner sa akin kya di ko na rin sila kilala at nbwasan pa stress ko sa mga mukha nilang ang kakapal tlga. Gusto nila sis palamunin lgi ng pera eh may asawa nmn sila eh di kumayod sila. Bkit nong bumalik partner ko nagbigay ba sila ng foods sa amin? Waley ah.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Kakaasar talaga sis, kung sino pa may mataas na pinag aralan pagdating sa pera akala mo eh nanakawan, hays lalo yung asawa sis, pede na sya sa basurahan ng mga di nabubulok, ang plastik kasi😁

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2 years ago

Hahaha lam mo sis kya nagbago ang bro in law mo dahil sa asawa nya yan. Gnyan tlga mangyayari bsta pera pera na pero may hangganan din ang lahat.

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2 years ago

Natumbok mo sis, napakagiver ni Kuya sa totoo lang, nagbago lang nung nag asawa, mapanumbat pati, ayoko ng ganun, mabuti na lang talaga wala sya maisusumbat sa amin, yung 5k lang na binigay nya, yun lang talaga sis, can you imagine sa halagang 5k hays buhay

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2 years ago

Alam ko na mga galawang gnyan sis kya minsan din tayo na lng mg aadjust. Pera lng yan sis pero ang di na mababalik ang dating samahan diba.

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2 years ago

That is okay sis, there are lots of stories like you and when money is involved, surely it will get to worst much more if you are not earning good.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Exactly sis. We just realised they were good to us when everything is good, but during those times we were so down, they’ve showed their true colors.

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2 years ago

Di natin control isip nila at decision nila kaya avoid na lang natin sila. Yung sister in law mo medyo Inis ako sa kanya ha, grrrr.

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2 years ago

hahaha! Kung alam mo lang sis, mahigit 10 years na akong nagtitiis sa kanya, pero since sya naman ang namblock which is an act of immaturity it only goes to show na wala sa taas ng pinag aralan ang mabuting pag uugali. Masyado pang goody goody un.

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2 years ago

Tama ka dyan, wala talaga sa pinag aaralan kasi dapat yun ang inaaply, at dapat maging matured na eh. Iwasan mo yan sis, kasi minsan sila mag titrigger para ma galit ka, tapos ikaw lang magmumukang masama. May taong magaling sa ganyan.

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2 years ago

Kuhang kuha mo ugali nya sis, ganun nga sya, tsaka feeling ko mababa ang tingin nila samin, UP graduate din kasi ang ateng tsaka may masters degree, kami waley, the moment na namblock sya biglang nawala talaga yung respeto ko sa kanya at ayoko talaga sya makita parang plastikan lang ang mangyayari

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2 years ago

Baka may inggit sis? Ganun lang naman yun. Naku sis, may mga taga Up akong friends okay naman sila, sadyang ugali rin nya yan sis, minamaliit nya yun Ibang tao, wag ganun, baka in the future magkaroon NG scenario na kayo pa pala makakatulong sa family nya, relatives pa din kayo. Sana tigilan na niya yun ugali na ganyan, life is short eh

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2 years ago

Kaya nga eh, mejo matapobre nga yung family nila, so baka nga dun din, kasi I know someone from Up na sobrang babait, hay naku sis, naishare ko lang, echosera pa yun dati sa mga post ko sa fb, kaya nawala yung gana kong mag post doon

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2 years ago

Hahaha, so parang inggit nga sya, kasi parang bantay nya yun post mo. Di magandang pag ugali ang inggit, sana isipin na lang nya mga blessings nya bago mainggit

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2 years ago

Yun na nga sis, maganda naman yung buhay nila compare samin, wala namang ikakainggit, minsan talaga di mo kelangan ng pera, peace of mind lang sapat na😁

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2 years ago