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Infatuation and love are often perceived as synonyms. Is there a misconception in that? Does love necessarily occur after falling in love? Can we love someone even though we weren’t in love?
The question of how long a love affair can last and when love begins, it kills everyone who has experienced one or the other. It is not uncommon that we cannot distinguish them, and it is even less rare that when the magic disappears, we see the person in a different light.
Where did all that magic go?
Ask yourself how many times have you simply stopped being interested in a person out of a euphoric state, and all the time you thought it was love? For this reason, it is important to distinguish between infatuation and love.
Although we can subjectively think that the symptoms of infatuation and love are the same, reality refutes such an experience for us every day. In order to know the valid differences of emotions that prevail in these different phases of getting to know each other, the experience is needed, time and maturity are needed. We have no doubt that a beautiful romance will happen to everyone, but we believe that you should know the basic difference between these phases of emotional acquaintance - falling in love and love in time.
Have you ever had a romance that you never forgot? Do you remember your first love from school, from a trip, or a person you thought about for a long time? What do these thoughts have in common?
The answer is infatuation. One inexplicable force that pulls us towards the object. I guess it is such intoxication, passion, and idealization towards a person or object that even as you read this, a spectrum of fine emotions will awaken in you. Oh yes, that's what euphoria and so-called "butterflies in the stomach" do.
If you are wondering why this is so, why the most beautiful feeling lasts so short and why it disappears, the answer could disappoint you. Namely, the feeling of falling in love is not a realistic experience of love somewhere. It’s like a spice you put on a dish, it gives a fantastic taste and you forget what you’re actually eating. Imagine not eating meat, just spice. It is enough at the beginning, but after a while, you will realize that you are hungry.
It's the same when you "slam" into a person, that chemistry attracts you, you only enjoy it while thinking about it, and especially in the phase of emotional madness, you are ready to do everything for your loved one.
What happens when disappointment ensues, when that illusion of a perfect gentleman disappears?
The man who made you laugh yesterday suddenly starts to annoy you, suddenly his flaws become unbearable. Where is that perfect world now where the birds are chirping and where you are happy. He was gone, the moment the madness in your head disappeared. So the symptoms of falling in love are slowly leaving you.
Experts list several psychological mechanisms that act on us in the phase of fascination. At the same time, we ourselves are not aware of that. Although it has already been mentioned that we can easily confuse infatuation and love, we offer you a few "traps" that we all use in the phase of "butterflies in the stomach", which are reliable signs of infatuation.
This mechanism refers to signals that do not fit into the image that the person in love has about the partner. We selectively choose what we will see. We will selectively take bad qualities out of sight, or transform them into something sympathetic and authentic. How many times did it happen to you that a trait in your partner seemed nice to you at the beginning, while later it was the reason for your breakup?
A person in love notices the qualities that the partner possesses but overestimates their value. He is the best, the most beautiful, the smartest. No one is as interesting as him. Oh, that this ideal man becomes the center of your world. Do you really think he has no flaws?
Although it identifies certain flaws in a partner, a person in love will diminish their significance. Whenever I think of minimization, I remember a friend who always downplayed her partner’s flaws. He is always perfect and doesn't have many flaws. Indeed, how many of us diminish our partner's flaws and defend them from the world somewhere?
The person remembers past situations in such a way that he remembers only those partner's actions that are good, while all other actions are simply forgotten and "pushed under the rug". It is especially important to state the mechanism of repression in an unrequited or impossible love. This kind of experience can keep you confused for years.
This psychological mechanism represents excessive fantasizing about the future relationship and planning a common future. Through fantasizing, a person increasingly feeds an idealized image of a partner.
These breakthrough stages of infatuation are present in both men and women. The only difference relates to the intensity of the feelings involved in the very process of uniting with a person.
I recently heard one phenomenal truth, which says that when you love someone, you love them because of them, not what that person does because of you. It is true that love is complex, I guess no one has managed to understand it enough so far. Therefore, it is not surprising that people do not even know the adequate difference between love and infatuation
Love occurs when you see a person in the right light, after disappointment, after quarrels, and realizing that your ideal person can hurt and disappoint you. If you remain in such a relationship even after that, know that you are doing it out of love. It may not be euphoric and you will not feel butterflies in your stomach, but you will know in yourself that this person is there for you, for better or for worse.
Love is a sense of belonging. It's the feeling when you really see your partner. When you bravely endure defeats. When it is not the physical appearance that is important, but all those qualities that someone possesses. Love is when you clean the apartment together when you cover someone because you think of him in a dream. Love keeps you by the person. She is wonderful.
The basic difference between infatuation and love lies in the relationship with a person. A man in love would say: "I can't live without you" On the other hand, a man who loves would say: "I can live without you, but I'm better off with you!" This reflects the maturity of emotions.
Although we subjectively often confuse infatuation and love, the easiest way to make a difference is to let your loved one out of life for a while. Whether it will be a day or a week, you will feel a change in your emotions. From the famous: "I can't live without you!", To ".I miss his smile…"
It is not uncommon for the euphoria to simply disappear. For example, I was desperately in love with a colleague, I saw him every day and I constantly fantasized about him. I thought it was love. However, as he moved to another job, and as I stopped seeing him, so did his glow. Gradually I forgot his character, I stopped thinking about him. The ecstasy passed me by. Then I knew the difference between infatuation and love.
You don't have to have feelings for someone. You can adore your job for a while until it gets boring. You can love your friends and suffer if you lose them. Strong feelings have run through our lives. Whatever you do, know that you do the most because you have certain emotions.
Emotions are neither black nor white. To understand the chemistry between two people, it is necessary to fully observe and understand all the facts. That is why it is important to make a basic difference between them.
The chemistry between people, sexual desire, or something else, a series of relationship bases. They attract us to someone, but how will you overcome problems with that energy, go shopping, or think about marriage and heirs. Make sure that feeling passes after a while, and if you haven't built a relationship with someone, the chemistry just isn't enough. Likes and sympathies are the beginning, but building a relationship takes effort.
I often remember a friend who stayed in a relationship with a man, just because of the memory of the beginning of a romance, which according to her was incredibly exciting and perfect. As she says, he took the stars off the sky. As those stars disappeared, so did their relationship. After a few months in order to pass the phase of falling in love, she realized that her master was perfect and not very perfect. And really, why would anyone stay in a relationship because it was nice at some point in that relationship?