Don't make a joke of a woman!

Marilyn Monroe was sexually abused as a child. She was never the subject of her own sexuality, but the object of ubiquitous sexualization.
Forged in the mold of sex symbols, Monroe was actually a sex victim. I remember her story today because - how many more wheelchairs in front of Parliament, encouraging rapists and men riding on the wombs of women, women dividing into two subtypes - first sexual objects and then birth machines?
"What I really want to say is: The world today needs a real sense of community. All of us: stars, workers, blacks, Jews, Arabs. We are all brothers. Don't make a joke of me. Finish the interview with what I believe in ”. That’s the last thing Marilyn Monroe said in the last interview of her life.
But, as Patricia Newcomb, Marilyn’s friend and secretary, claims, that statement was ultimately not included in the interview. Marilyn, through the character created from her work, as in her lifetime, often ended up in the scenarios she feared most - don’t make me a joke.

Through the dark forest Monroe was walking through - Hollywood, the news of a hundred evils of the famous and influential producer Harvey Weinstein broke through these weeks, and it all started when the New York Times started exposing his network of lies and sexual abuse - which allegedly lasted for thirty years. The New York Times published a story that emerged from lengthy journalistic research, interviewing its current and former employees, looking at court files, e-mail correspondence, correspondence within Miramax and the Weinstein Company, which Weinstein ran.

The way some women have come forward in the Weinstein case and explained the silence so far - silence out of shame and guilt, reminded me of Monroe. More precisely, he clearly outlined the outlines of what might be called the cracks of the Monroe story. And those cracks are contained precisely in that don’t make me a joke, in a cry to be taken seriously, in a cry that, if ignored, leads to further insecurity, deepening feelings of shame and guilt.

The story of Monroe resonates with me this week, while Vice Batarelo from the Vigilare association with twelve prams in front of the Parliament says that raped women must also give birth, because "why would a child be punished for a crime that happened?", And Health Minister Milan Kujundzic tells reporters as "life begins with conception", while on the issue of ratification of the Istanbul Convention he comments that he is "not familiar".

How does this story go and why is it still relevant today, at least on a symbolic level?

When Marilyn was a child, her sick mother Gladysinstitutionalized. After that, Monroe changed 11 foster homes and spent a year in an orphanage in Los Angeles. When she ended up in an orphanage at the age of nine, she protested and insisted that she was not an orphan, that she had a mother - she claimed this for the rest of her life, always criticizing the way her mother was institutionalized and such an approach to treating the mentally ill.

She described her childhood in notes from 1962 as “a lack of any consistent love and care. The result was distrust and fear of the world. What was the use of all this? Nothing but what this experience has taught me about the basic needs of the young, the sick and the weak… I feel a great connection with all the exiled and persecuted in the world. ”

What lies deep in the core of Marilyn Monroe's childhood, dense and dark, hand in hand with poverty and lack of family, is sexual Trilling also highlights Monroe's lack of friends, especially women, "for whose protection and support her extreme vulnerability cried out so directly." abuse. In Lois BannerMarilyn’s book: The Passion and the Paradox, the way postwar misogyny and sexual hypocrisy influenced the shaping of Monroe’s character and work is analyzed. Banner chronicles Monroe's growing up, moving from one foster family to another, interpreting the evangelized upbringing to which Monroe was exposed and finally - numerous cases of sexual abuse during her growing up.

For example, at the age of eleven, Monroe was adopted by her mother’s best friend Grace McKee and her new husband, Ervin Silliman, “Doc” Goddard. Doc repeatedly sexually assaulted Monroe, forcing her to move. The second case happened when she was in high school, sent to live with one of her aunts in California, where she was eventually abused by one of her aunt’s sons, so she moved out again.

According to Barbara Leaming’s book Marilyn Monroe, skeptics have often asked Monroe why she didn’t talk about the abuse earlier in life, why she waited. As the case of Weinstein shows, it is not uncommon for a person who has been abused not to talk about the abuse (especially if they are powerful people on the other hand who can easily silence you), or to speak only later in life. The crucial role in the whole process is often played by the support, primarily the support of other women - who themselves were abused and testified openly, moving from victims to witnesses and fighters.
Marilyn was also betrayed by women - immediately after her death, one of the few who wrote about Monroe with empathy was Diana Trilling, who lamented the ridicule of Marilyn’s desire for education and her hypersexuality which left “a big gap where she would true sexuality provided a sense of self as a person ”.

"What stems from our mockery is the disbelief that someone who is so sexy should read Dostoevsky. The idea that someone with sexual advantages Marilyn Monroe would want anything other than to make love took away our rewarding illusion, the illusion that enough sexual possibilities are actually enough of everything, ”writes Trilling. Trilling also points to Monroe's lack of friends, especially women, "for whose protection and support her extreme vulnerability cried out so directly."

The long-lasting effects of feeling that a person has no value other than sexual - are a burden that Monroe so obviously shared with many other women of her time. In addition, for a person who has been sexually abused, especially in childhood and adolescence, a sense of purely sexual value often remains a lifelong burden - the way a person evaluates, realizes and valorizes themselves.
Monroe, therefore, was never the subject of his own sexuality, but the object of ubiquitous sexualization. Forged in the mold of sex symbols, Monroe was actually a sex victim.
In one of the interviews, Monroe also recalled actress Jane Fonda, talking about exactly how she was shaped by sexual abuse and how much she has always gravitated to women - and children - in public and in society.

“The key to understanding Marilyn is that she was sexually abused. It changes everything. As happens with girls who were abused in childhood, there was that sexual energy in her early on that men noticed right away, but she was actually scared and fragile, broken from the start. She loved me because I was like that too. I remember one celebration at Lee Strasberg. Marilyn entered the room and the men began to tremble with desire, but she immediately approached me. It was as if she felt safe with me. If there were children in the room, when she was with someone for the weekend and the children were present, she would spend all the time with them. She did not feel safe in this world and was exploited, ”says Fonda.

In all of this, Monroe ultimately remained unworthy of creating her own narrative. Just like Ana Magas. Just like the many women who were abused by Harvey Weinstein.

The question is - how long does it take for women to be taken seriously? How long will it be until we (all of us) are “unfamiliar” with the Minister's answer - to the question of ratification of the convention, which is crucial in preventing and combating violence against women and domestic violence - that it is absolutely unacceptable?