Join 79,007 users and earn money for participation

Travel with your return ticket.

26 33 boost
Avatar for rodriguezpct
Written by   67
2 months ago

For a long time, people have been using the Internet to find a friendship and maintain a long-distance love relationship with a person. Years ago, a recently divorced colleague of mine signed up on one of these dating sites. Soon after, she made contact with a man who lived in France. They liked each other, fell in love. He came to our country Venezuela for a month and after they spent the month getting to know each other, they both went to France. There they got married. She always kept in communication with me, always telling me what their relationship was like. She always describes it as a fraud. The relationship was not how she imagined it would be. In the end, she was enduring a fake relationship just so she could get French citizenship. After a few years, she got it. And that same year she got divorced. Now she lives in France, divorced, like another French woman. Was it worth it?, I don't know, I would have to put myself in her shoes to judge.

Now in these pandemic times, internet love between people who don't know each other in person has become much more popular. Many people come to me for guidance on how to handle such a relationship. Already, a normal relationship, that is, meeting and relating in person is difficult, much more so it is over the Internet, at a distance, with a stranger.

When a person comes to me and asks me: What do I do?, asking for advice on a relationship, I always answer with another question: What does your heart want?, but whatever your heart wants, do it with your feet on the ground. Do not let emotion dominate reason. Which is very difficult, because the heart always wants to impose itself on reason.

Internet love is madness, and there is a risk of breaking the heart in every way. Recently I received a case of a 52-year-old lady, who met a 53-year-old man, who is from Barinas, where we live, but he has been living in Chile for many years. In less than two weeks of telephone communication, he already wants her to join him as a couple. He wants to pay for her one-way ticket to Chile. To get to know each other, and then live together. But there is something that does not convince me about the things she has told me about him. He tells her that if living in Chile and she doesn't want to be his partner in a year, she has to pay him everything he invested in her and she has to see how to return to her country because he won't give her the return ticket. And she accepted.

In less than a month that they have been communicating by video calls, he has shown himself to be an excessively jealous person, he calls her all the time, he asks her where she is and who she is with. From what she has told me, this man has the characteristics of having a strong, dominant, jealous and possessive personality. It is very difficult to maintain a loving, happy, harmonious relationship with that kind of personality and at a distance, it is even more difficult.

She has low self-esteem and is a submissive woman. She is the ideal partner for an egocentric person. This long-distance relationship is toxic. And yet she persists in continuing communication with him. That's why I say that emotions dominate reason. If she continues, she must face the blows and move on, because she is only giving him a one-way ticket to Chile. The last time we talked she told me that he got very upset, to the point that he would not let her talk, just because she confessed to him that she is asking for guidance and advice and he got upset because of that, he would not let her talk, in the end, he sent her to eat ... (here he said a rude thing) and then cut her call.

I was not surprised by his attitude because it is typical of an egocentric person who wants to manipulate and I was not surprised by her attitude when she said that she was to blame, because she should not have said that she receives guidance and advice. She is the one who looks for her destiny, the wall where to crash, don't you think?

I will continue with her as far as she allows it. I can do no more than give guidance and advice. In the end she will be the one to make her decision. She is a grown woman. It is her life. If she makes the decision to go to Chile, I told her to go with a return ticket, in case her romance doesn't work out. At least she can return on her own, since he made it very clear that if the relationship in Chile does not work out she has to see how to return to her country.

It is her life, she is an adult, it is her decision on how to live her life. What she decides cannot be based on fear. In life you take risks, in her case you take a lot of risks, you fall, you get up and you fall again. You try as many times as you think necessary. But if you never dare, you don't really live life.

In the end, I think she is not going to Chile, she has many doubts, especially a lot of insecurity, she is already realizing that this man is not the right one. But I still told her before ending our conversation, that if she decides to go to Chile, after all, to live that adventure, that she should do it safely... friend, travel with your return ticket!

Thanks to all of you, for following my stories, to my sponsors and people who read me, for always stopping by and leaving your comments, you are the best!

Sponsors of rodriguezpct

Pictures from unsplash.com

14
$ 6.72
$ 6.20 from @TheRandomRewarder
$ 0.10 from @LykeLyca
$ 0.10 from @carolinacardoza
+ 7
Avatar for rodriguezpct
Written by   67
2 months ago
Enjoyed this article?  Earn Bitcoin Cash by sharing it! Explain
...and you will also help the author collect more tips.

Comments

Oh no! Why did she fall into it? Knowing that there are conditions to it, it seems that it's not genuine love. You are doing great in giving guidance and advises, she needs you badly.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

That's right, she needs me a lot. She is a woman with a lot of insecurities. She is slowly coming to understand that that is not love. Amiga thank you very much for your comment. It is of great value to me.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

The world and the people that live in it are making it more difficult to live in. Internet dating has really helped some folks find true love while a lot more people have fallen as prey in the hands of their so-called internet lover. For the lady, she shouldn't just take the risk, it's not worth it.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

Personal relationships over the internet lend themselves to a lot of bad intentions. It's very difficult that in such a short time you would want to risk having a partner this way. I am 100% with you, she should not risk it. Thank you for your valuable comment, it confirms my thinking on how I am guiding her.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

Nowadays, dating apps are already a big trend especially for this new generation teens. They easily get fall in love with the person they met online without knowing that persons real identity. We should know the person whom we fall in love with, because if we don't, we all gonna end up hurting and broken hearted

$ 0.00
2 months ago

I totally agree with you. On the Internet, it is difficult to meet a person to make such a delicate decision to be your partner. thank you for your comment, it is wise.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

Whether online or not, it's a challenge to know what the true intentions of people are. They might be the right person that we want them to be but sooner or later they will turn into someone else we don't recognize. All of us has our intentions. Guard your self. Guard your hearts.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

It is difficult to recognize a person's good intentions. We are always on the lookout. It is even more difficult to recognize them on the Internet. Thanks for stopping by and commenting my friend.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

The way I see it, this is not only an egocentric and jealous man, I think that his intentions might not be fully romantic, maybe there's something else. Nowadays, there's catfichers, scammers, pedophiles, murderers, rapists, you name it you got it, so we have to be very careful when we put ourselves out there.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

You are right, all those options need to be explored. In this particular case, there is prior knowledge of that person, because he used to live here in this same area. And they have friends in common.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

Oh, my mistake, sorry. Well, hope she makes the best decision for her and her future.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

at the end of the day, those who are asking for our inputs on relationships will make a decision for themselves. our rule is just to advise but it's their call after all. I am not a fan of online dating sites because I won't truly know the person.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

Exactly, if it's already difficult to meet someone in person, more difficult is a long-distance relationship. And as you say, in the end, the decision is hers.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

ship. And as you say, in the end, the decision is her

that's true.. keep us updated if she let's you know her decision

$ 0.00
2 months ago

I really don't know what is the need to look for a life partner who instead of being your friend will be a judge in your life. Everyone is the master of his own life and seeks his own way but walking on coals has never been a safe path.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

That's right sister, every head is a world. Thank you for your comment.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

A strong topic worthy of dealing with. Internet dating or relationships is a thing of madness that has broken more people's hearts than ever. I think I will deal with this topic because I have had several occasions being involved as a counselor in a relationship between two that started over the Internet.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

Yes, it is very delicate. Still, as a counselor, I guide the person always trying to make the person see things with understanding and reason. But it is difficult when you struggle between emotions and feelings. Have you ever read the phrase "love is blind", it refers to the fact that emotions blind reasoning. It is hard.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

I think your friend has to think very well about what she is going to do. At this point in life, she should want to have someone by her side who respects her and makes her life more bearable. But this relationship with the man in Chile seems to have already the alarm on before beginning.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

That's right, she's already aware of it. Every time we talk she realizes it's a toxic relationship.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

it's sometimes difficult to differentiate between what our heart wants especially when our emotions are all over the place. Logic over emotion all day but it's sometimes tougher than we think. Plus, internet love is not really what it seems, everyone puts up a charade to seem bigger than they actually are.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

Right. It's a risk to think about a love relationship over the internet is such a short time.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

I'd be afraid to try something like that on the Internet.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

It's a very risky way to get to know a person in such a short time.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

The man has clearly been demonstrating a personality that would make a relationship a disaster, and that's only virtual. How much more if they are finally together... I really hope that woman comes to her senses and does not go to see him anymore.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

I'm working on it. We agree that it is a toxic long distance relationship. Thank you for your comment. Regards.

$ 0.00
2 months ago