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For a long time, people have been using the Internet to find a friendship and maintain a long-distance love relationship with a person. Years ago, a recently divorced colleague of mine signed up on one of these dating sites. Soon after, she made contact with a man who lived in France. They liked each other, fell in love. He came to our country Venezuela for a month and after they spent the month getting to know each other, they both went to France. There they got married. She always kept in communication with me, always telling me what their relationship was like. She always describes it as a fraud. The relationship was not how she imagined it would be. In the end, she was enduring a fake relationship just so she could get French citizenship. After a few years, she got it. And that same year she got divorced. Now she lives in France, divorced, like another French woman. Was it worth it?, I don't know, I would have to put myself in her shoes to judge.
Now in these pandemic times, internet love between people who don't know each other in person has become much more popular. Many people come to me for guidance on how to handle such a relationship. Already, a normal relationship, that is, meeting and relating in person is difficult, much more so it is over the Internet, at a distance, with a stranger.
When a person comes to me and asks me: What do I do?, asking for advice on a relationship, I always answer with another question: What does your heart want?, but whatever your heart wants, do it with your feet on the ground. Do not let emotion dominate reason. Which is very difficult, because the heart always wants to impose itself on reason.
Internet love is madness, and there is a risk of breaking the heart in every way. Recently I received a case of a 52-year-old lady, who met a 53-year-old man, who is from Barinas, where we live, but he has been living in Chile for many years. In less than two weeks of telephone communication, he already wants her to join him as a couple. He wants to pay for her one-way ticket to Chile. To get to know each other, and then live together. But there is something that does not convince me about the things she has told me about him. He tells her that if living in Chile and she doesn't want to be his partner in a year, she has to pay him everything he invested in her and she has to see how to return to her country because he won't give her the return ticket. And she accepted.
In less than a month that they have been communicating by video calls, he has shown himself to be an excessively jealous person, he calls her all the time, he asks her where she is and who she is with. From what she has told me, this man has the characteristics of having a strong, dominant, jealous and possessive personality. It is very difficult to maintain a loving, happy, harmonious relationship with that kind of personality and at a distance, it is even more difficult.
She has low self-esteem and is a submissive woman. She is the ideal partner for an egocentric person. This long-distance relationship is toxic. And yet she persists in continuing communication with him. That's why I say that emotions dominate reason. If she continues, she must face the blows and move on, because she is only giving him a one-way ticket to Chile. The last time we talked she told me that he got very upset, to the point that he would not let her talk, just because she confessed to him that she is asking for guidance and advice and he got upset because of that, he would not let her talk, in the end, he sent her to eat ... (here he said a rude thing) and then cut her call.
I was not surprised by his attitude because it is typical of an egocentric person who wants to manipulate and I was not surprised by her attitude when she said that she was to blame, because she should not have said that she receives guidance and advice. She is the one who looks for her destiny, the wall where to crash, don't you think?
I will continue with her as far as she allows it. I can do no more than give guidance and advice. In the end she will be the one to make her decision. She is a grown woman. It is her life. If she makes the decision to go to Chile, I told her to go with a return ticket, in case her romance doesn't work out. At least she can return on her own, since he made it very clear that if the relationship in Chile does not work out she has to see how to return to her country.
It is her life, she is an adult, it is her decision on how to live her life. What she decides cannot be based on fear. In life you take risks, in her case you take a lot of risks, you fall, you get up and you fall again. You try as many times as you think necessary. But if you never dare, you don't really live life.
In the end, I think she is not going to Chile, she has many doubts, especially a lot of insecurity, she is already realizing that this man is not the right one. But I still told her before ending our conversation, that if she decides to go to Chile, after all, to live that adventure, that she should do it safely... friend, travel with your return ticket!
Thanks to all of you, for following my stories, to my sponsors and people who read me, for always stopping by and leaving your comments, you are the best!