Legally Love

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Avatar for rodriguezpct
2 years ago

"My daughter had already been born 3 years before I met her mother. It was never a problem for me as a man to fall in love with a woman who already had a child. From the moment I met the child I knew in my heart that she would be my beloved daughter. From that moment on I never left her side. When I married my wife, the following month I gave my last name to the child, so from that moment on I became her father before the law.

The marriage with my wife did not work out, we separated after four years of a relationship of discord and several attempts at reconciliation, but the relationship did not go well, we were always arguing and fighting. For the emotional good of my daughter I decided to separate, although thinking about it, it was my ex who decided first because she was the one who left me when she went to live at her mother's house and took the child with her, leaving me alone at home.

Even though my ex left and took the child with her, I have never abandoned her as a father, even after the separation with my ex, my daughter has always been my priority. I go to pick her up at her maternal grandmother's house and she shares the weekends with me. I prefer to be with my daughter on weekends than to be anywhere else, she is and remains my daughter before God and the laws.

But I am worried about something, I have never touched the subject with my daughter that I am not her biological father. And now after the separation with her mother, I am worried that third parties, relatives of my ex, even her, with bad intentions will go ahead to tell the child the truth of her origin, but without taking into consideration the way and manner of telling it. With the idea that the child does not want to spend moments of her life with me."

The story that begins the topic I will discuss today, is a real fact, that can be happening anywhere in the world, it can even be happening to you right now. Today there are many couples in which their children may not be biological children or their own children, or as in the story above, where a marital relationship begins and one of the partners already has a child from a previous relationship and for fear of rejection of the child to the other partner or to avoid emotional damage, is delayed telling the truth to the child, always waiting for the right time and so time goes by.

Now, we all know that every child in the world has a biological father, with the exception of laboratory or assisted reproduction babies. If that is not the case, we all have a biological father. The other case is the legal father, who may not be the biological father. The law recognizes in an official act as the legal father of a child when the woman before marriage already has a child and both the mother with the alleged father agree that her partner is the father of the child, there in that official act they sign an affidavit of paternity, officially declaring themselves as the legal father, from that moment the child will carry the surname of the legal father.

Now the other point we are going to discuss is whether the children should know the truth of their origin. Definitely yes, without the slightest doubt they should know the truth, they have the right to know their origin, they have the right to know who their parents are. In addition, there is more risk in not telling the truth because the parents will always have the uncertainty that the child knows the truth by third parties, thus running the risk that the child believes in his mind that by not telling the truth is for something bad and so he will lose trust with his parents and especially with the legal father.

The other point is how we tell the truth to the child. It all depends on how old the child is when he or she decides to tell the truth about his or her origin. We have to be careful in the details, the information that is very strong should be omitted for when we see that the child is ready to hear it. The important thing is to emphasize at all times that the legal parent has a great and unconditional love for the child. It is important to make the child feel that the child is loved, valued and cared for by the legal parent as if he or she were his or her own biological parent. The difference lies in the unconditional love that one of them gives to the child.

A very simple way that does not cause trauma in the child is to tell the child's origin through the construction of a story, of course, the story has to be adapted to the child's age, the story tells the before and after the arrival of the legal father in the child's life. Making a photo album is another simple way to tell the story, another example is a children's story using finger puppets, in the case of young children, in that story you have to talk about the biological father in a positive way.

In conclusion, I must say that it is important to tell the child that regardless of their origin, what is important is the unconditional love of the legal father towards his child.

Thank you for reading this content that has been intended to be educational and informative for all those parents who, even though they are not biological parents, declare unconditional love towards the children who do not carry their blood but their heart and soul. It is legally love!

You still haven't told your child the truth about his or her origin?

Thankful for this month of love, productivity in followers, and new sponsorship renewals, thank you, you are the best.

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2 years ago

Comments

Thanks my dear friend for helping me you're such a nice lady.....

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Ohhh really you are very caring personality about your children.great dear

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Thank you. It is a beautiful story full of love. Thank you for your comment.

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2 years ago

I agree.... It better to let them know their origin and make them understand in a loving way.

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2 years ago

Above all, that unconditional love that is never missing in the child's life. When he grows up he will realize that a legal parent is just as much a parent as a bi-legal parent. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

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2 years ago

Hello it my first time reading your article so glad I came here . I am so sorry when I realized your wife left you take heart and be good . Yes you are right it is important to tell children where they came from but my question is if you tell your daughter that you are not are real father will she not over reacted but I wish you a safe life . Rosh really loves you and wants to be your friend

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2 years ago

Thanks for stopping by my article and commenting. My article begins with a story of a father who is not a biological father but a legal father. It's just a story. It has nothing to do with me personally. There in the middle of the content I say it, it is just a story that can be real. It is only to describe and develop the theme of the article. Thank you for coming to read. I appreciate it very much.

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2 years ago

It is really important to let the child know the truth, because after all they will eventually know it. And for sure, there will be some unexpected reactions but for sure they'll understand it too.

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2 years ago

That's right, parents cannot take away a child's right to know his or her origin. They will know how to give unconditional love that for the child covers all faults. Thank you for reading and commenting.

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2 years ago

It is my pleasure. After all, the child will really understand it and he or she will be grateful that she was taken care of.

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2 years ago

Just like cases where a child is adopted by a couple, it is important to be honest and disclose how they came to be a family. That knowledge must always come from the parents and not from some outsider. In the case of the child being adopted by the new partner, the couple early on should have already been forthright about this. Still, it is a big help that the father loves the child in spite not being a biological parent, and for as long as they child feels loved and valued, he will not feel bad about how they came to be related.

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2 years ago

I totally agree with you. The only thing that is important is how the child feels and the love that is given to him.

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2 years ago