I Don't Want To but I Need To!

9:43|11162021#139|

Have you ever felt like you don't want to do something, but eventually you need to do it? How does it feel to make a decision that seems making you feel uncomfortable? By thinking ahead from it, will it be bothered you? But, what if that decision/s will bring a fruitful outcome? Will you take the risk? Or, let go the chance?

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Good day ladies and gents!☺️👋 How are you doin'? How's life in the midst of global pandemic? How about your health and financial statuses? I do hope that you still make your days productive as ever, despite our situation. And always remember to take good care of yourselves, okay!?

Yesterday, I wasn't able to make use of my time to write and publish an article because I am attending an important affair of the family. I also helped out my mama in doing some of the household chores, and of course, spent my time with them, including my pet.

Anyways, enough with that. In this article, I will share my story, or let just say, my experiences about making decision even I am not really want to do it actually. Well, this is not a big issue to tackle about, but I was just being bothered by this since the other day. I just want to express my deep feelings through writing this one, and perhaps, you can give me some pieces of advice on how I can handle the situation in a right manner or way.

So, let's not take this long, here's the story;

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They say, "Money is the root of all evil." But what if this thing will save you up for some reasons? Will it be still considered as one?

As for you know, I am an only child. Yes, an only child but unfortunately, I am not born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I'm not saying that we are badly poor, I or we belonged to the average people in this society I'm into. As for now, I live with parents. And for almost three years as a dependent child to them, I felt like I was a burden. A burden because, at this time, I should be the one to provide for them. But look at me now, I am just right on my comfort zone, waiting for them to spare me some food to filled up my empty stomach. (I really felt useless.)

For twenty-three years of existence, I kept on depending on my parents. (Well, now I've been in read.cash and noise.cash, that's why I am very thankful for that.) And this could be my biggest challenge. A challenge that I should accept and later on, conquer. ("Mayari sana'y magkatotoo ang lahat.")

Looking at my papa, even though he doesn't show and tell, I can feel how he feels. "Lusko nang Dugo", it can be called that way. Yes! I know, my papa is tired. Same goes with mama. Pushing their selves to the limits, makes me felt like I am just a burden and a pathetic one. That, I am not doing anything to make them feel that I am not and I can help them. That, I am not as what I think I am, right now.

Surprisingly, being in this platform, same is through with noise.cash, feels like I'm a bit useful. Having a means of income of my own, even not as stable as it is, eases the pain and guilt I have felt inside. And, I am really grateful for that.

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Being part of this two platforms is truly a "Blessings in Disguise."

"HODLING MY BCH EARNINGS"

Its been three months since I included this in my monthly goals. But, both intentionally and unintentionally, I withdrawn it. Honestly, I felt so envious, seeing and reading articles that talking about their 1 BCH or more being unlocked or achieved. Yes! I gladly admit that. On the other hand, I am making it as my inspiration to strive for more, and never losing my hope that soon enough, I can achieve mine too.

I DON'T WANT TO BUT I NEED TO!

Lately, my mama and I have observed that my papa has changed. At first, I thought that I was the only one who noticed it, but my mama said that she does too. As what I have remembered, this changes started when I started to earn on my own through earning BCH in both platforms.

I discussed it with mama, and she said,

"Yes nak! I really don't know why."

"Before, he lends me some money after he gained some through working as a carpenter or a mason."

"When I asked him that we should make use of our time for making charcoal and sell it, he refuses because he said he is tired."

"When I looked at his wallet, its empty."

"Where does his money go, then?" (In Bisaya)

I just smiled and said,

"Ma, calm down."

"Papa is really tired, I know and I felt that."

"Well, let him do whatever he wants Ma. He had enough and he really needs to take some time for his self and to have some fun."

"You and papa have been through a lot, especially when I was still studying."

"Enough is enough." (Heart-to-heart talk na naman kami. Bisaya yung convo namin ha, trinanslate ko lang. )

It so happened yesterday, early in the morning, my mama was waiting for a fish vendor to pass by in our house so that we can have some for our viand. Unfortunately, even though there are some vendors passed by, my mama doesn't like the fish that they sell. Lol. She said that its not worth the price, and its just too costly. ("Yun pala, kulang lang talaga yung pambili-_-)" My papa needs to hurry because he has a sideline work at the school. "Ang ending, nag-scrambled egg nalang kami for breakfast."

I opened our fridge and looking at it, "Gosh!" Puro tubig at ice nalang pala yung laman guys. HAHA XD. That is why, even if I don't want to withdraw my earnings just yet, but I need to. Not just because our fridge is empty and we don't have something to be called as our viand, but because I realized that, I should treat Money as just money. Nothing more, nothing less. What's the use of hodling it, if my family needs it? Should I just set back and watch them, wait for them to solve the problem even though I can help them out? NO! I AM NOT AN INNOCENT CHILD THAT ALWAYS DEPEND ON THEM, ANYMORE! I can provide for them in my own way. MY OWN LITTLE WAYS...FOR NOW! And that's the main reason why I am here, to help my parents.

___R--E--N--R--E--N--16-💚___

This is not an act of obligation but an act of INITIATIVE and GIVING BACK for my beloved parents. It could be just a little one, but I am confident enough that it will surely make them happy.

"Money might be a root of all evil", but in this situation I'm into, this thing have saved me and gave me chance to have a fruitful outcome. Well, provided the fact that we all need money, especially in buying almost all things on earth, "Aigoo!" Let's just admit it. HEHE. ^_^

Thank you for reading!☺️📖

TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY!😇

Lead Image source:

Own captured and edited photo, using Pixlab App.

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Thank you to my avid readers, likers, subscribers, and upvoters. As well as my sponsors; old, new, and renewed ones. Thank you for helping me out and making my read.cash journey as meaningful as it is and a fruitful one!"❤️

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_renren16💚_