5:10PM|12082021#155|5TH
Are you tired? To the point that, you felt like all your efforts are useless. That everytime you tried to explain yourself, it feels like nobody wants to hear you out. Are you scared? To the point that, you are just letting yourself be eaten by negative thoughts. That if you will exert a little effort to let them hear your thoughts, you might hurt their ego. Or might be, they will just go, far away from you.
Some of you here said that I am a funny one. Yes! Indeed, I am. But alongside with that kind of character of mine is a hidden sadness. A kind of sadness that feels like killing me, little by little. I know its kind of private thing, but I just can't help myself but look or find for someone or something, where I can, you know, let go of this feeling and give myself a little bit of comfort.
I've been trying to kept this for a long time, but now, I think its time for me to let go and free myself from this hurtful feelings deep inside me. It stressed me almost everyday. I'm just hiding my true feelings within, through a smile, and kept myself surrounded by positive minds. (That's my family). Thanks God, I have them with me.
I've been had a hard time understanding the situation I'm into. I kept questioning myself if, "am I really deserve to be in this kind of situation?" Feeling of uncertainties. Doubts. An overthinking mind. All about negativities. In just a while, I experienced a battle against myself. And now, its been almost a month since I had a fight against others, specifically my parents, and of course, with my partner. I am just thankful that its not that serious up against my parents because I can immediately resolved it. But when comes to my partner, "nahh..."
If you were to ask, "What would you feel if someone seems inattentive towards your opinions or suggestions, will you be happy with that?" Or I should say, "will you just tolerate that kind of attitude?" Well, it doesn't just applied in couples. I mean, with others too. "Will you be fine, if you will not be given a chance to express or explain your side?" I bet, it doesn't go with the positive side. (We have different views though.) As for me, I'm used to it but I am feeling lonely. I am happy in the outside, but I am definitely lonely, inside. It feels like I am wearing a mask, just to hide my true feelings. I want to scream, but I think there's this thing that stops me for doing it. I want to explode, but my mind says, "You're good!" "Please be more Patient!" But, "how long?" How long does it take for me to be listened to? How many times should I say it, again and again, for me to be understood? Should I just keep pretending that I am happy, even I am not happy anymore? Should I just keep pretending to be okay, even the truth is, I'm not? I am surrounded with positive people, but still, I think its not good enough for me to feel better. The mere fact that I can't even approach any one of them, because I doubt that they will just laugh at me. That they will just blame me, or just distance their selves away from me, instead. Yes! I am a good adviser, somehow. But, when it comes to my own struggles, I can't advice myself. I can't manage it accordingly. I just keep it hidden, to the point that everyone should not notice what I've been through.
There are times that I just found myself crying in the middle of the night. Letting all the negativities crept myself. There are times that I forgot to took my meals and just want to lay down in bed. Wait for the day to end. I am just a bit relieved now that I have my little buddy where I can find a little comfort. (Please heal the wounds of my pet "Iking" immediately, Lord God.) And there are times that I just made watching an Animes as a stress reliever, of course, doing Tiktok contents too, to forget those sadness and negative vibes. Well, let me just include, a little madness. "Am I crazy?" What do you think?
We have different struggles in life. And whether we like it or not, all we need to do is to embrace it. Don't just waste or give up your life for worthless things. Instead, make it as a reason for you to "Keep Holding On!" God has a purpose for letting us experience all these things. We just have to strengthen our faith. Remember, "The Lord will fight for you, you only need to be still." -Exodus 14:14
Thank you for hearing me out my read.cash family!
TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY!😇
Lead Image source:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/category/Community/Just-Keep-Holding-On-157791224697511/
________________________
"Thank you to my avid readers, likers, subscribers, and upvoters. As well as my sponsors; (old, new, and renewed ones). Thank you for helping me out and making my read.cash journey meaningful and a fruitful one!"❤️
________________________
_renren16💚_
Alam mo sis nung sinimulan kong basahin ang article mo parang ayaw ko ng taposin kasi naiiyak ako ,naiiyak ako kasi I can feel you.We all need someone na naiitindihan tayo.Yung handa tayong pakinggan at intindihin.Same din tayo magaling akong mg advice sa iba pero ako mismo ay need ko din ng advice.Same din tayo ung asawa ko naman eh useless kausap,ang dami ko ng sinabi siya eh parang wala lang at minsan mas pinipili ko na lang wag na siyang kausap kasi instead of trying to talk to him to resolve a problem eh ako pa nagiging masama.Puro palpak sagot niya eh.hay buhay.Laban lang tayo sis.Alam kong di tayo pababayaan ni God.Siya lang yung handa tayong pakinggan at intindihin