Halloween is over!!
Why is it then that I have ghosts lurking??
Hello dear friends!
Sunday is almost over in my country and for most of you is already Monday.
How is it? I hope you all had a beautiful weekend.
Today, God's day, I wasn't going to write anything, but, something happened and I have to write about it!
I have told you (I think) that I don't have much luck when it comes to relationships, the day God delivered that gift I overslept or wasn't on his list.
The truth is, it seems I don't have "relationship material" and the men who are attracted to me, only want one thing and done.
When I was in my early twenties and had my rebellious phase, I enjoyed that, I mean, I was very upfront and clear about the fact that if you don't want anything serious with me, don't take the trouble to offer to get me the moon and stars, be real, tell me the truth and I'll decide if I take it or not.
That worked for me for a while, until Fibro got into my life and it spiraled out of control.
Then, when I got out of that crisis and started to make big decisions for my future, I did not want to be a one-night stand I wanted more.
I stopped frequenting nightclubs and parties and tried to develop stronger relationships, but it did not work. Men found me intimidating (I still don't know why) and went with girls who were easier to get.
Until this day, I haven't been able to maintain a relationship for over five months. This, of course, gets to me because the first thing I think of is that it is only my fault, how I come across, too demanding, or too opinionated, or not submissive. Then I go to the physical aspect: I'm not pretty enough, skinny enough, or glamorous enough.
But then again, I have had my share of really good-looking men, my last boyfriend was, is, beautiful and we still are good friends by the way, but the relationship ended because he cheated on me.
So, what is it then:
Is it me? Is it a vibe I have going on? I don't have what it takes?
Then, after all these questions then comes another:
Why do some of these men keep looking for me?
Today I received messages both on Facebook and Whatsapp, from two different partners from my past. I liked them both very much and had fun with them when we were together. Now, they are both married with children and don't live here anymore. But they wrote to me anyways. One of them even said that after all these years we haven't talk, he still remembers me fondly and wants to "Rekindle our friendship and maybe more".
What??? Why???
At first, I thought it was a scammer, someone who hacked his Facebook account and was looking for easy prey. I threw a banana peel and I could corroborate that he was the real person, not a scammer.
He's still married and lives in the United States so, what did he mean when he said: "...and maybe more"?
The other one, a beautiful beautiful man, who was my rock when I went down, he was always there for me when I needed him. When he writes, he only asks about my life, my well being, he just wants to know how I am, but, if the case is that he's coming to the country to visit, rest assured he calls me to "Hook Up", even without me giving any sign that I'm looking for that with him or with anybody.
This time hasn't told me anything like that, but if my experience is worth something, maybe later he will come up with that.
I'm confused, and I'm somewhat angry. I don't understand why is it that men don't take me seriously, why I'm still lurked by men from my past, who have families now and in the past didn't want and still don't want anything serious with me.
I don't have an answer, my friends say that I am pretty (I don't think so), I'm a good person, easy going, not demanding, very approachable, and kind at heart, so they don't get it either.
Maybe it's not in the cards for me, and if that is the case, fine, but then at least destiny should keep these men away from me, right?
What do you think??
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✨✨Blessings✨✨
November 28th, 2021.
Que loco eso que te ha pasado. Oh, ahora te escribiré en español, es más fácil de decirte lo que te quiero decir.
He tenido muchos amigos que son así, pero no tuve ningún tipo de relación con ellos, solo amigos o conocidos. Todos era iguales, no quiero decir con esto que todos los hombres sean iguales. Pero me parece muy extraño que de diferentes lugares que los he conocido sean así, solo quieren una aventura y yo nunca he estado para eso. Si he tenido novios que solo fue por unos meses, pero yo buscaba algo serio, hasta que por fin encontré "la persona correcta", fue tan serio con respecto a la relación como yo quería, así que hemos podido estar juntos, no es una relación perfecta, siempre existen problemas.
Pero no entiendo porqué algunos hombres hacen eso, no quieren nada contigo y luego de tener una familia quieren revivir algo del pasado que nunca pasó. A mi me han escrito los mismos hombres con los cuales les dije que no quería nada, me han escrito para salir e ir un poco más allá, pero no es algo que esté buscando y menos si estoy en una relación seria que ya lleva más de 5 años.
Lo que hago con ese tipo de personas es solo alejarlos, a veces soy "muy fría", y muchas veces que pensé que era mi culpa por mi carácter, pero ese no era el problema, es solo que no había encontrado a la persona correcta