Having a mom is the greatest blessings everyone must be thankful for, but sadly not all experience in the same way. Some grow up without a mom beside them and it's really painful for a child. And to some they are really blessed enough to grow up having a supportive,loving and caring mom in their life.
How about you? Does your mom still besides you or you are also belong to a broken family? Or even worst ,you've never seen her in your entire life.
I consider my life as messy, no value ,no purpose,nothing but just like a garbage. Why I did I say that? It's because I grow up from a broken family. No mother who is taking care ,loving and being besides me when I needes the most. I grow up with full of insecurities, no self-confidence and I really don't see a meaning in my life.
Maybe some of you wonder why I think like that or curious why I have that kind of mindset. Let me tell you the story of my life. And I hope that upon you finished reading this you'll be blessed or you can get a lesson.
I was 17 days old to be exact when my mom left me. So my father,grandmother,and grandfather had no choice but they should take care of me without my mom. As the days passed by, both of my grandmother and grandfather decided to adopt me. In short they're now my parents and my father would be only my brother if we based on my birth certificate. The reason why my mom left me even when I was only a days old because she became insane. My father did all his best so that my mom will undergone medication but sadly not able to dueto lack of finances. He couldn't afford that. We're poor and the medicine is too costly. That's why my mom roamed around everywhere. She didn't have a permanent place anymore. She really became crazy and the people laughed at her and even to us as her family.
To make the story short, I grew older without her. There came an instance during my elementary days where my classmates teased me and didn't want to play with me because I'm a daughter of a crazy woman. It really hurts me a lot and my self esteem broke down. That was the moment that started where I loved being alone . I didn't want to mingle to the people anymore because they don't like me.
I became a shy person and very lonely. Most of the nights I just cried and asked God what's my purpose of being here. I never felt the love I need in my family. Until one day I realized that I should change my mindset. I started to read books eagerly and my aim was to became an honor student so that I will gain friends and the people will also proud of me as well as my family. And the most person I considered to be my inspiration was my mom. At first, I really hate her that she's my mom. But as I fully understood the situation I realized that's not her fault why she abandoned me. That's her sickness that led her to abandon me.
With my perseverance and dedication I became an honor student during my elementary days and I graduated as a valedictorian. My self confidence develop and I gained a lot of friends. I am hoping that someday when I become successful I am the one who will take over all those expenses for my mom so that she'll go back to her normal life and we could start once again as a complete family.
I really focus on my studies because I doing that for my mom so that when she came back she'll be proud of me.
But things change just in a blink of an eye. I was second year high school when I rebelled against my father because I felt that he didn't love me anymore or even my grandmother and grandfather they didn't love me as well. It was the time that I am searching for a mom's love and care but no one and ending up cheering up myself alone. Without them knowing , I didn't study well anymore and I escaped most of my subjects. My father was really shocked when the moment he knew that I failed and my grades were very low. Instead of encouring me ,I heard a lot of curse words and bad words degrading myself. That time I really felt that I am nothing and no used to live longer here on earth No one loves me and no one will miss me if I'll gone. There were times that I tried to commit suicide many times but thanks be to God he didn't allowed it to happen.To make the story short, I graduated on my high school days without an honor.
Even when I was on my college days still I had a hard time to rise up again. But by God's grace he allowed Christian people to ministered for me. Step by step I realized my purpose and all those pains I encountered. Everything happens for a reason. It's not an accident who were my parents or my mom became crazy. God allowed all those situations in my life with a purpose.
Growing up without a mother is really not an easy one. It has a great impact to every child especially for me. It's really difficult. But by God's grace I am now getting better. I realized that if only my mom is not crazy I know that she'll take care and love me also. Even though she's the best mom I never had, I still considered I am blessed beyond favor because of her. She gave birth to a beautiful girl and no other than me ,myself ,and I love my mom so much. Hoping and praying that someday we'll meet each other again.
Here are some of my real life stories if you want to know more:
Thank you so much for reading. My sponsor block is always open. God bless us all.
I couldn't imagine myself without my mom. 😔 God is with you always. God bless.