Did I made the right decision?

April 18, 2022

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, 
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes,
always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7(NIV)

Earlier I was tagged by one of the Wonder Mom's here in R.C madam @Pachuchay with her article Love Shouldn't Hurt regarding about reckless love unto their significant half. On why they became martyr and even though they we're all beaten to death by their husbands, they never even had some thoughts of leaving them.

Married or not, but they made a promise on each other, to have and to hold, in sickness and health, till death do they part. Maybe some would say that it's unreasonable but for me I can understand but not in the sense that I agree with them becoming their partner's own punching bag.

It's seem coincidental since my friend and a sister in Christ happen to share the same dilemma about our church mate who happens to be so softhearted that his wife had taken advantage of his goodness.

The main topic is that the husband had some drinking sessions with his circle of friends near his house, but the wife went to them and told the husband to come home and when they got home she started having her mantra and even pinch the husband. Ever since they're boyfriend girlfriend we always witness how the girl becomes the dominant one and even give errands to the boyfriend. And it did continued now that they're married.

My next response to this is that there is an end into that goodness about the husband. Yes he is understanding but if his patience can't be stretched anymore and he'd be on edge then the wife must watch out.

Violence is a no-no for me.

So back to the main topic,
As I finished reading madam's article I did asked myself, "Did I made the right decision?", but then I remembered Madam @Jane's telling that Your Child(ren) Won't Stay By Your Side Forever then asked myself that time if I ever did regretted my decision on raising my son alone.

At first, when I first had my son in my arms, the decision is already made in my mind. That I will work hard to raise him alone or with his father. Then three days after was the time we got out from the hospital and the problem then started. Postpartum and stress is a serious matter when you gave birth but most people who didn't go through it judged us like we are just over reacting and all. Let me told you it's not as easy as one two three. But the father didn't think about it and just go ranting and keeps on pissing me off that I am silently crying away from the eyes of my family and the father of my son.

My last resort was to send the father away to go home for the meantime and to figure things out first if he really wants to be a with us or if he want to continue his studies and find a good job so that he can support us. But turns out months after I let him go home, he decided to find another family and the girl got pregnant when my son turns three months old.

My family(aside from Papz) blamed me, people always blamed me and even my friends blamed me for making wrong decisions that would really affect my son's life. I do admit of the mistakes but I was also seeing the bigger picture of the future of my son. If it happens that I let him stay with us, and we'll became a burden to my family since he didn't finish his studies and I would be the one looking for a job and then taking care of the child even though he's around for I also want to give all my attention to my son amidst busy schedule.

If I didn't let him go home, yes maybe I will not burden my parents in taking care of my son for he is there if I have work. But what? Will it always be like that, no progress and not even a chance of him continuing his studies since he needs to look out for our son? And what if he show his true color and there will come a time that he'll hurt me or my son, physically or emotionally? Just like what Madam Pachuchay narrates.Such things might or might not happen but I happen to be on the preventive side.

There's a lot of possibilities but I did choose to raise my son alone. And I do admit I'm a coward and selfish one too. So accepting the blame and judgement is what I did up until now. Even though they learned that my son has a step brother the blame is still on me that if only I didn't let the father go then my son would be the only one we need to take care to. Haaaaay

I, too, am a believer of true love and marriage for my parents are my role models but I never had a thought of seeing myself being married. I only see myself taking care of my son and watching him grow and create progress day by day.

Right now, hearing the stories. I then conclude, as of today, that maybe I did the right decision.

Not depending on the father and lead my son and providing him with all his needs. I guess I am doing the right thing as of now.

Not minding the people around and just stick to my rule that my son is my priority and nothing else is what I am holding right now.

I hope some of us mother's or even the single mom out there can get my point on these. This is just my own opinion regarding my decisions.

What are your thoughts?

Opinions and criticism is allowed in the comment section lol

Thank you for reading!
Be blessed and be a blessing!
@mommykim