Your Child(ren) Won't Stay By Your Side Forever

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Avatar for Jane
Written by
2 years ago

April 12, 2022

We were saddened by the sad news one afternoon about our neighbor's incident on the street. This old uncle was the one who helped me one night to call a locksmith when I forgot to bring the house's keys and I truly respect and owe him a lot. A man in his 70s or 80s and living alone as his only son has already made his own life with his own family. He was a public servant in his younger years and became a widower when his wife died at an early age. Thus, all responsibility for raising their child was thrown on his shoulders.

Through his hard work and perseverance, he was able to raise his child on his own, who then became a public servant as well and one of the respective lawyers of Hong Kong. When his son grew up and had a family, he lived his life alone in his lonely house, which seldom had visitors. Even his son seldom visits him and oftentimes, can not be contacted due to busyness. And folk said that the two are probably not on good terms and that's another story to be unfolded but should remain in private.

This old uncle is getting weaker as days pass by and really needed someone beside him. Sometimes his sister's maid will be sent to his house to just clean the place or cook for him. However, that is only sometimes, and most of the time, I saw him walking to the market and buying things he needed. He's getting senile as well and he would sometimes forget to put the things he bought inside his house and would leave them outside his gate.

One afternoon, when he was walking along the alley from the market to our flat, something happened to him as he suddenly fell to the ground. His head hit the concrete pathway and bled. A concerned citizen immediately called an ambulance and he was sent to the nearby hospital and has been treated. The police officers contacted his son but were out of reach. And his old sister was probably the one who takes care of him in the hospital.

We have no idea of what happened next or if the officers found his son, all we know the old uncle is already safe.

This is just a scenario that shows that your child(ren) won't stay by your side forever.


Some people think that having a child(ren) would guarantee that they won't be alone in the future, especially once their bones, knuckles, and muscles become weak and they cannot perform their activities of daily living anymore. A family that would help them lift heavy stuff, cook their meals, assist them in performing ADLs, and other tasks at home.

That's one of the reasons why some ladies who don't want to be committed with someone just prefer to have a child than get married, just so they could have someone beside them when they get old and weak. I also have the same perspective when I was younger, but suddenly changed by the thought of having a broken family, and my child might be discriminated or get bullied at school for having no father.

However, not all child(ren) would stay by your side forever, especially once they learn to stand on their own feet, follow their own paths, and made their own lives. And there are only a few cases where child(ren) take responsibility for their old parents until their very last breath. The worse cases are those who opted to abandon their old parents as they don't want them to be burdens in their lives. Those with no conscience and ungrateful to their parents.

Thinking about this matter, I am uncertain either if one of my siblings would take care of me once I get old. I don't want to become a burden to them as well. I'll just let my fate decide how I will become once I got white hairs, weak bones, and muscles. Or perhaps, I would be just like the old uncle neighbor here. Forever alone despite having a family nearby.

Perhaps, I would just hire a caregiver, lol.

What are your thoughts about this? Share it below.

Thanks for reading.

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Written by
2 years ago

Comments

This is reality. Children won't stay by our side forever for they also have their own journey to walk on. Now, I understand why my mom wanted to have a partner even if she have me already. She's afraid to be alone in the future. I couldn't blame her tho. But I will make sure to never leave her behind even if I already have my own family.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

ganito din palagi mindset ko madam kaya di ako nag asawa at anak lang iniisip ko..

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Even if the bird flee the nest, I think it is wrong to completely abandon your parents especially when they are old.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

May mga Pinoy din na ganyan e, like pinapabayaan yung parents pagka matanda. Huhu

$ 0.00
2 years ago

You are very right. When children grow, they will find their ways and they are out, except if they only come around to pay their parents a visit. I have an aunt too who took care of us but now, she is alone by herself and it is only when we decide to pay her a visit as she doesn´t have any child. She is getting old already and living alone.

Some children might show pity by staying not too far from their parents so they don´t have to go far from them because just as the old uncle, it is risky to stay alone.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Nkksad sis kapag gnun ang kahantungan ng anak. Habang maaga at bata pa, matutong masinop, mag ipon. Para pagdating sa huli hindi kung saan saan napupunta.

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2 years ago

This is just wrong and is not supposed to be so. I have seen something similar to the story you talked about in my country as well and I wonder why do people behave that way. Their parents took care of them when they were young, why can't they return the favour when their parents become old and weak? The least they can do is to put their parents somewhere close to where they live so they can easily monitor them and take care of them

$ 0.02
2 years ago

That should be the role of children.. The least they can do is pay back the hardships their parents rendered in raising them..but some opt to forget that thing.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

And there is me with no children. Who will look after old me? 😅

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Haha.. It's okay..you're not alone 🤣 . we are many here haha

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yung sabi ni Mommy mag anak daw ako para may mag aalaga sakin pag tanda ko. Ee yan na nga di natin sure if sa pag tanda ba nila ee magbbgay importansya pa sila satin. Makakahanap at makakahanap ng sariling buhay yan kaya di talaga guarantee yan. As for me, I prefer nalang to like that old uncle. Live alon on my on. Sanay naman na ako, mas maigi yun. I also don't want to be anyone's burden so yeah

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Haha. Kakasad madam..same ata tyo ng fate pagtanda 😅

$ 0.00
2 years ago

He is a paragon father, but unfortunately he has given a negative child. It was so tough.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

How children can do that to their parents is quite unbelievable. Its so sad. How will you just ignore your parents to themselves like that

$ 0.01
2 years ago

If I were to choose, I'll rather stay with my parents or near them when the time I will have my own family than to separate with them. They are precious to me, lalo pa't di pa ko nakakabawi

$ 0.01
2 years ago

How thoughtful you are. Sna ganun dn mag isip mga kapatid ko na lalaki 😅

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hehe baka naman naiisip din nila yan

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2 years ago

Kawawa Naman Siya sa madam,may mga anak talagang ganun. Nakakalungkot lang talaga. Sana nga mga anak ko is Hindi maging ganun pero sa Ngayon kaya gusto ko din makapagsave para Hindi Rin ako maging burden sa mga anak ko.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Same madam..d ko knows kung sino mag aalaga sakn 😅

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Sad to learn about such though hndi nman bago sa atin na makita o marnig na my mga gnyan ngang nangyayari, inaabandona mga oldies. That's why we still need to instill our children na dpat d sila mkakalimot sa mga magulang sa knilang pagtanda, and ung proper upbringing is a plus

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Kaya nga. Sana lng may magstay pra satin sa pagtanda natin

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I feel so sad for the old uncle. He deserves more from his son especially since he can't take care of himself. I just hope they settle whatever difference they have soon.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

I hope so too

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I still imagine how life will be when I don’t live with my mum anymore but I’m very positive because I want the best life for her. She has done grate for me. She has a very good relationship with me.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Same here. As my.mother sacrificed so much for us

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Most parents especially in this part of Africa have no retirement plan, they invest in their kids with the hope of depending on them at old age but when it is time, these kids are no where to be found.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Sad reality. Poor parents

$ 0.00
2 years ago

This is so true madam. Kukunti lang siguro ang may malasakit sa magulang at kayang mag alaga talaga sa kanila. Especially sa panahon ngayon, focus na sa kung paano palaguin ang sarili at pag explore sa mundo. Nakalimutan ng may mga magulang pa pala

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Sinabi mo pa..sa murang edad, gusto na magsarili kabataan ngayon

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Oh dear! Sad to hear that. This incident is getting worse day by day. Modern days children have less feelings for the family & they abandon the parents. Scenario maybe different but in the end, the parents suffer.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

True..after so much suffering while raising their kids, they still suffer in the end.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Lahat naman talaga mang-iiwan at iiwanan, lol. Pero sa totoo lang ate nakakalungkot lang na may mga anak na pinapabayaan nila yung magulang nila kasi matanda na. Si Mama ako ang aako sa pag-aalaga sa kanya kasi youngest ako.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Sweet naman. Sna youngest namin ganun dn isipin 😅 pro matino naman yun hehe

$ 0.00
2 years ago

For sure ganoon din ate iwan ko ba feeling ko nakabuild in na sa mga bunso ang ganyang mindset

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2 years ago

That why Pinoy beliefs to have a lot of children just incase one is irresponsible hahaha kaya anak nang anak 😂 kasi nga may black sheep nga talaga daw sa pamilya eh pano pag isa lang anak tas naging black sheep pa haha.. wala din.

Nothing is certain in this world so it's not surprising scenario.. even if the child was a flesh and blood by their parents it cannot guarantee they'll take care of their parents when they grow old, maybe it depends on how we raise our child/ren too.. not sure though..

$ 0.04
2 years ago

Depende lng tlga.. Kht iba may mabait na magukang. Nagiging black sheep parn ang anak .lol. Kami madami, pero iwab sino magkukusa mag alaga sakn 🤣

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2 years ago

Having a lot of children still doesn't guarantee that one of them would help and I think getting help at old age is a thing we can decide.

Having good relationship with our children sometimes help a lot.

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2 years ago

Unfortunately, that's a wrong perception of most Filipinos 😅.. But it's happening in our country

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2 years ago

I know, that is why it's funny to me.. exactly good relationship with children is always an advantage

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2 years ago

Eto yung isa sa mga magandang trait ng pnoys, like mostly po if not all, yung mga magulang nila is nakatira s either of the siblings kaya naalagaan din. Unlike sa ibang bansa na madami mga agency na nag titake care sa mga oldies kasi may kanya kanya ng life yung fam. Pero mas okay naman yun kesa maiwan din mag isa sa bahay.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Kaya nga. I saw him kanina...kinuha ng sister nya..dun ata muna titira..buti nmn may sister pa..yung anak wala ata paramdam

$ 0.00
2 years ago

There is a saying here that "ajumobi ko kan ti anu".

We can't expect people to help us because we are blood related. Life really unpredictable and we shouldn't just be nice to our children only but to other children because we don't know the one who will have pity on us when we are weak.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

True.. I agree.. I read some stories like this..so we should really be kind to everyone..

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Older said to have more children so that when we get old, there is someone we can rely on, same situation with our neighbor which is my aunt, she had a lot of children but she died on her own without even one of her children on her side. maybe it is depend on how you raise your children and how you made your bond with your children stronger, because I see to them that they were not close as mother and children, they don't care with each other.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

We have a grandmother who didn't have biological children but adopted her nieces and nephew. But she grew old and died without them on her side. It was my other grandmother who took care of her

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Wala ka na bang plano magkaamilya Jane? Hehehe.. Minsan nasa upbringing din ng mga magulang yan. Kasi kaag pinalaki ng maayos at may mabuting asal ang mga anak, sila na mismo ang magkukusa or talagang aalagaan ka nila gang sa pagtanda. Sa ibang bansa hindi ganyan kaya meron silang mga home care saka pinaplano talaga nila un retirement nila. Pero dito sa atin eh mostly,inaaruga talaga ng anak ang magulang...

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Yup.. Dpende lng tlga sa pagpapalaki.. Pro minsan kaht mabait pa magulang...lumilihis ng landas ang ibang anak..

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Sabagay, kahit pa siguro gaano kaganda ng pagpapalaki natin sa mga anak natin eh di naman natin hawak ang pag iisip nila.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Tama

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I often wonder what it would feel like for my Mom and Dad when they are finally alone and all their kids have all gone out to start their lives which have already started, then I think of how that would feel for me too, it just feels lonely.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Sad thoughts to ponder

$ 0.00
2 years ago

If the childrens is good then definitely at old age time they will take care of their parents.But now a day's its so hard to found someone who are take care of their parents so much.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Despite considering that children won't stay at your side forever, I am of the belief that children have some obligations towards their parents especially when they are old. The man needed taken care of even if he's ensured loneliness for long. From what I understand, it's not like the man even depends financially on his son, he just needed taken care of because of how physically weak he has become. I sm glad he's okay.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

That's the purpose of children, to take care of their parents too. But not all are responsible enough to do that

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I always would want to get married one day and the thought of who will take care of mama someday always makes me emotional. Mama always bring up this topic of whoever among the 10 of us siblings will ever take care of her and I am always certain of my answer that I want to be with her no matter what. Although mama have done alot of things that I can never understand and we have no choice but to accept, I still want to be the daughter that's not holding grudges. Even if I never know what the future events will be but I want to be of service especially if its for my mom.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

10? Hndi pla tyo nagkakalayo haha.. Basta ako mag aalaga sa knla. No matter what happens..

$ 0.00
2 years ago

dami din po kayo? Kala ko 2 kua, 2 sissy hehe nakalimutan ko

$ 0.00
2 years ago

13 kmi 🤧

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Children at times become a bit selfish and forget that they have a duty to fulfill to their parents the people who gave them life. It is sad.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

True.. Sad reality..

$ 0.00
2 years ago