October 12 and 13, 2021When I was a kid, I dreamt of wearing my beautiful wedding gown 👰 while walking down the aisle full of flowers. Then my groom will be waiting for me and we would vow to love each other forever💍. Then we will live happily ever after.
And I woke up in reality: marriages are not made in heaven. Some of them are arranged, where the girl or boy would get rebellious and run away with the one they truly love. Other wives suffer from the scrutiny and manipulation of their in-laws. The Filipino culture is toxic and I grew up in a broken family.
A night ago, I asked my partner, "Do you still want us to marry?", and he said, "Yes". "When?", I asked again. Then there was silence.
He was sure of me but the million-dollar question is: am I ready to get married, is marriage for me? I don't know. But does my partner deserved it? Perhaps.
What are his qualities then? 🤵
He is loyal- Fidelity isn't an issue with him. He never had a girlfriend for 14 years because he was "choosy". He doesn't play games and he believes in commitment.
He respects women- He treats his mom with the utmost respect. He sacrificed his career so he could take care of his mom during her bypass operation and therapy. I believe how a guy handles his mother is a reflection of how he'll treat his woman.
He is hardworking- He always does his best to provide for his family. He is good at managing his finances and is willing to skip meals or snacks so he won't ruin our budget.
He is a good man- He is honest and is always truthful about his opinions and emotions.
If we're to wed, I want it in Starbucks Tagaytay. The motifs are maroon and dark blue. The guests are gonna be eating while we are having the ceremony and I am going to dance "Despasito" with my bridesmaids when it's done. I don't want hungry guests on my wedding day, by the way.
I am excited thinking about the wedding but am I really ready? 50/50.
Why the hesitations? 🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️
✨Because I expect too much and I don't wanna be hurt and disappointed over and over again. So that I could escape when I cannot take things anymore and I don't wanna be controlled or manipulated.
✨Because I don't wanna have baggage forever, just like my father to my mother. I don't wanna suffer.
✨Because I need someone to be stronger than me, not the other way around. I had been through a lot of battles already.
But why should I marry?
💍Because my children deserve a complete family.
💍Because God blesses a good marriage. Because Mr. J is a good man and is gonna be a good husband for sure.
💍Because I can try my best to be a better mom, wife, and partner.
💍Because marriage is a partnership and I trust Kuya J and I can work it out.
I should stop overthinking and pressuring myself for now. I am ending this article with a quote “Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.” —Franz Schubert
How about you, were you ready for marriage? Can you share some tips on how to have a peaceful and happy marriage? Do you think I should marry or not? Your honest answers and opinions are appreciated.
Thanks for your time and your kindness, my friends.
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Ngotngot, the fyrfinex
The lead image was from Unsplash.
Growing up, I saw marriage as a very sacred ritual between two people. And as I grow older, reality hits so hard that marriage isn't always love, flowers and butterflies. It's very different now than what I had imagined in my childhood. And my mama, really instilled in me to choose better. Which kinda gives me pressure to make sure that my marriage would work. Like you sis, I'm also 50/50, I think I am ready and the next thing I'm not. My advice would be to wait for the right time. You don't have to rush it if one of you isn't a 100% ready to tie the knot. Trust me, it would just reflect on your marriage in the coming years if you rush too much.