Not My Happiest Birthday, Worst Feeling I Think

Preparing food for my birthday is not my thing and cooking is not even my forte. So I decided to prepare something for a change. Pork adobo and Filipino lumpia ala Estela (my mother’s style). Everything requires to fry with oil. Most of the Filipino cuisines are more into frying. Fried chicken, fried fish, fried egg, fried pork with oil. I don’t remember my mom cook something in the oven because we don’t have it.

You know, I should be proud of myself because it’s my first time to prepare for my birthday in 33 years but being in France, I hate it. That’s the reason I never cook here because I can’t cook my own food with pleasure.

During the eve of my birthday, I prepared the ingredients. The pork, garlic, onions, soy sauce, vinegar, laurel leaves, salt, pepper... that’s for pork adobo. And for the lumpia, it’s pork, garlic, onions, carrots, a little corn starch, salt, pepper, lumpia wrapper. I wanted lumpia for the memory of my mother since I helped her mashing the meat and mix everything in the bowl. Everything was manual mixing without the help of a mixing machine. And so is the wrapping the lumpia.

You know how petty it is? It’s just about the use of boiling oil in a pan. Just because it smells so bad frying inside the house. Since I started the pork adobo, my husband complain about the smell. I finished cooking the pork adobo but not the lumpia. I haven’t wrapped the lumpia yet. And he wanted me to cook everything and it’s already past midnight. 

I said I’m tired. To be honest, I can actually continue wrapping the lumpia the next day, on my birthday, since it will be quick. But no. I just hate the fact when the husband stressed me to finish everything because of the smell as the father in law arrives. And the smell will also affect the clothes. In the Filipino household, who cares with the smell? As long as you don’t put the house on fire, we are fine.

I actually cried because I never thought that supposed-to-be a stress-free cooking for my birthday should be a joyful experience. But no, it’s not. I’m angry. I feel like I have to be in a hurry. The husband never understood what I feel since I’m very emotional especially with the lumpia. I prepared it for my mother’s memory and I knew how it took us time to prepare that without complain.

And we only use a simple cooking tools in the house. No fancy ovens. No frying machine. No air fryer. Just a stove with gas and a pan with oil. The husband blamed me for not asking the frying machine since you can cook it outside of the house.

On the eve before my birthday, I started preparing at 4PM. For me, it’s very late since I need to prepare two meals. I knew myself that I am not really fast in preparing something so I need time. For me, I just want to enjoy the process without the stress. I started frying the pork inside the house at 9PM. My husband wanted me to cook the lumpia at 1AM. See, it’s not even the right time to do the frying outside at 10 degrees Celsius even with a frying machine.

I actually asked for the frying machine ahead of time but he told me that I can use the pan with oil inside the house. I thought it would be a smooth sailing time of cooking but no, he started to complain about the smell and started to question me on what I do. I even explained that I do that for a reason. Ugh, I hate being questioned for nothing. Yes, he actually helped me with the lumpia thanks for the mixing machine. You know, it’s very expensive if you have that in your Filipino household. If only the night was young, I could have continue the wrapping and fry everything in one night.

But I have kids and I am a breastfeeding mom. I am very exhausted even though I am not cooking everyday because the baby takes my energy. But telling me to do this and that in a short span of time makes me stressed. 

I regret preparing food for my birthday. I wished I never cook anything. I should have just spend my time in a good sleep and wake up the next day like it’s just an ordinary day eating the usual food here. I never complained.

But now, it’s different. It’s my birthday. I prepared Filipino food for my pleasure. But here I am crying just because somebody complained I fry the food inside the house and not outside. I never had this complication in a Filipino household. I started my day crying because I feel embarrassed or ashamed. I argued with the husband. I lost my sense of excitement to continue what I have prepared. My father in law is my only guest. He just arrived 30 minutes ago.

Few days ago, I pictured out that today I should be proud of myself. That it should be a happy day. That I should take pictures with the family and the food that I prepared. I am confident that the outcome of my food is delicious as long as I don’t put the house on fire. But I hated the fact that behind the scenes of processing the food, I am stressed. Somebody complained. That my husband stressed me to cook everything past midnight.

I know that this is very petty. It’s just because I fry food inside the house and somebody complained for my birthday. But if you understand what I feel, I prepared the lumpia for my birthday in the memory of my mother. That despite that it took us time to prepare manually, we never complained. And we fry that a few minutes before the meal because we want it crispy and hot. But now, I had an argument with the husband because of a simple complain.

Next time, I will never prepare a Filipino cuisine in a French household. Never again. Or maybe I’ll just prepare Filipino food for myself. Alone. The worst feeling and worst memory on my birthday.