NEVER AGAIN with an abuser

REAL TALK!

When I was in Myanmar, a Buddhist monk gave me this advice. When you suffered abuse from an abuser, you need to CUT OFF THE TOXICITY. NEVER AGAIN WITH AN ABUSER.

But when you're a Christian, you need to forgive and forget. Give a second chance sa may history of abuse daw. Hahaha!

I posted this on Facebook regarding ABUSE. I, myself, was a victim of physical abuse by a brother. I went to VAWC Police to report the incident. But the police woman told me that it was just "away ng magkakapatid" or "sibling rivalry" which is not really a big deal in the Philippines because it is common. I have photos of my bruises that I've been keeping. It happened in 2012. The police preferred to see me in blood before they take any action. So, reporting to the police was just a waste.

In a first world country, a sibling rivalry is considered as domestic violence between siblings. So they have laws about it but not in the Philippines.

I started working at home in 2010. Since then, I started to experience anxiety at home as I'd heard my parents quarelling about money. I gave money to my mother but not to my father. My brother never received a single centavo from me.

I broke up with my ex of 6 years because of our toxic relationship. He abused me financially and never paid back the money he owed from me.

In 2017, I moved out of the house because of the repetitive toxicity. After my father died in 2015, he was getting worse. He acted like he was the boss. He didn't have a job. He is the youngest. I am the eldest, I was the only one earning at that time. I had a feeling that he was actually a drug addict.

I lost my Xbox 360 and my Samsung DVD player. For sure, he stole and sold it for his drugs. But I had no proof.

When my mother was dying in my arms in 2019, he confessed with the help of his pastor that he was using drugs. I wanted to scream at him but I couldn't as to pay respect for my mom. But deep inside, I was in rage.

The more toxicity he caused to my mother since I left home. Nothing had changed. I thought their lives would get better without me. In 2018, my sister and my brother were fighting in front of my ill mother with knives each on their hands. My mother just had her surgery with her failing body.

I was living in Palawan for 2 years. I enjoyed my freedom with less money. I had a good sleep when I was staying at hostels, at a friend's place, and until I found a cheap rental place to live.

My mother called me just to gave me disappointing updates about my brother. I'd keep on telling her before that she should have kicked him out of the house for our safety, for my mom's safety that she was getting older.

Before my mom died in my arms, she regretted the most for not listening to me. She suffered a lot for not listening to me. And it really broke my heart several times when I recall the scene.

I already blocked him on Facebook as I want him out of my life. Now that I am here in France, he got the chance to disturb me again back in July 2021 with the accomplice of a cousin.

Well, my cousin wanted to sell me a property. To make the story short, he wanted that I would send a downpayment as his electricity would be cut off in a few days. No signed documents like deed of sale and others. My brother acted like a lawyer. When I found out the truth about the property, of course, I got mad. That time I was just giving birth to my second baby.

Until now, he is still spreading lies about me to our relatives. The relatives still believe in him, no matter what.

NEVER AGAIN WITH AN ABUSER. Be it with a family member, a relative or the person you're in a relationship with. CUT OFF THE TOXICITY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. SET YOUR BOUNDARIES.