NEVER AGAIN with an abuser

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Avatar for itravelRox
1 year ago
Topics: Abuse

REAL TALK!

When I was in Myanmar, a Buddhist monk gave me this advice. When you suffered abuse from an abuser, you need to CUT OFF THE TOXICITY. NEVER AGAIN WITH AN ABUSER.

But when you're a Christian, you need to forgive and forget. Give a second chance sa may history of abuse daw. Hahaha!

I posted this on Facebook regarding ABUSE. I, myself, was a victim of physical abuse by a brother. I went to VAWC Police to report the incident. But the police woman told me that it was just "away ng magkakapatid" or "sibling rivalry" which is not really a big deal in the Philippines because it is common. I have photos of my bruises that I've been keeping. It happened in 2012. The police preferred to see me in blood before they take any action. So, reporting to the police was just a waste.

In a first world country, a sibling rivalry is considered as domestic violence between siblings. So they have laws about it but not in the Philippines.

I started working at home in 2010. Since then, I started to experience anxiety at home as I'd heard my parents quarelling about money. I gave money to my mother but not to my father. My brother never received a single centavo from me.

I broke up with my ex of 6 years because of our toxic relationship. He abused me financially and never paid back the money he owed from me.

In 2017, I moved out of the house because of the repetitive toxicity. After my father died in 2015, he was getting worse. He acted like he was the boss. He didn't have a job. He is the youngest. I am the eldest, I was the only one earning at that time. I had a feeling that he was actually a drug addict.

I lost my Xbox 360 and my Samsung DVD player. For sure, he stole and sold it for his drugs. But I had no proof.

When my mother was dying in my arms in 2019, he confessed with the help of his pastor that he was using drugs. I wanted to scream at him but I couldn't as to pay respect for my mom. But deep inside, I was in rage.

The more toxicity he caused to my mother since I left home. Nothing had changed. I thought their lives would get better without me. In 2018, my sister and my brother were fighting in front of my ill mother with knives each on their hands. My mother just had her surgery with her failing body.

I was living in Palawan for 2 years. I enjoyed my freedom with less money. I had a good sleep when I was staying at hostels, at a friend's place, and until I found a cheap rental place to live.

My mother called me just to gave me disappointing updates about my brother. I'd keep on telling her before that she should have kicked him out of the house for our safety, for my mom's safety that she was getting older.

Before my mom died in my arms, she regretted the most for not listening to me. She suffered a lot for not listening to me. And it really broke my heart several times when I recall the scene.

I already blocked him on Facebook as I want him out of my life. Now that I am here in France, he got the chance to disturb me again back in July 2021 with the accomplice of a cousin.

Well, my cousin wanted to sell me a property. To make the story short, he wanted that I would send a downpayment as his electricity would be cut off in a few days. No signed documents like deed of sale and others. My brother acted like a lawyer. When I found out the truth about the property, of course, I got mad. That time I was just giving birth to my second baby.

Until now, he is still spreading lies about me to our relatives. The relatives still believe in him, no matter what.

NEVER AGAIN WITH AN ABUSER. Be it with a family member, a relative or the person you're in a relationship with. CUT OFF THE TOXICITY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. SET YOUR BOUNDARIES.

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Avatar for itravelRox
1 year ago
Topics: Abuse

Comments

Naku nman, sad to hear about such between siblings. Kya dpat isulong din ang law na domestic violence kahit in between siblings ksi mahirap ng my kasamang abuser sa loob ng bahay

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1 year ago

I'm not the type to give a second chance especially with someone who has hurt me, I even try not to give someone a first chance to hurt me, you'd better keephim out of your life, brothers should love their sisters not act this way

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1 year ago

Nakakainit ng ulonhabang binabasa ko ito. Your bro should be in jail right now, no offense meant. You're so strong for overcoming all of these things.

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1 year ago

I am sorry about that. Your brother ought to be punished for what he did. My sincere appologies.

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1 year ago

That's so sad to know. We all should really cut ties with an abuser whether it's done physically or verbally, or whatever.

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1 year ago

This is a sad story ate. Hmm. Nalungkot ako bigla na mismong kapatid ang naging abuser at halos wala na siyang pakialam sayo. I Hope that brother of yours change.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Dapat lang talaga tapusin yung pang-aabuso peru yung pagiging magkakapatid ninyu dina yun mababago, the option is be aware nlng and avoid to be abuse again.

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1 year ago

Oh oh kapait sad anang igsoon maoy mangunay nuon dah

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1 year ago

Ito ang mahirap, kadugo mo mismo ang sumisira sayo. Nakapakasit isipin na kaya kang saktan ng sarili mong kapatid dahil lang sa pera. I hope you will recover from the pains of this abuse.

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1 year ago

Being in an abusive relationship does so many harm to mankind. It may be your sibling boyfriend, girlfriend or anybody. I've always told people to stay away from people they are having an abusive relationship with because it will make them depressed and depression is not so good for mankind

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1 year ago

Being with an abusive person fies more harm than good to mankind. I've experienced this before and I pea never to go back to that kind of relationship. Being with an abusive person will affect you emotionally, physically, psychology and mentally. Our mental health is very important and that's why we should always stay away from those that drain us or those that abuse us

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1 year ago

Nako icut mo na talaga siya sis. Jusko naman yang kapatid mo. Hirap din kasi dito sa pinas, madalas kahit alam ng kapitbahay na nagdadrugs yung tao, dipa ipagbigay alam sa kapulisan para maiparehab. Ngayon nang aargabyado pa sayo.

$ 0.00
1 year ago