Do you want more kids?

Do you still want more kids?

If you ask me this question, my husband and I want to have more kids. We have 2 already. Although it’s easy for my husband to say he wants more kids, as a woman, it’s difficult for me, physically, mentally and emotionally. Sure, we want to see more of our offsprings. I am not really sure if I can handle more.

I suffered more on my second pregnancy because of my shingles. I am not sure if I really fell into depression but there was a point in my life that I could say I don’t own my body anymore. I don’t have my own life. My body is getting heavy and I felt like I am a prisoner in my own body. Let me write this suffering in a different article.

My husband and I have to admit we are so proud to produce two cute babies. He wants more boys because he wants to spread the last name of his father. He doesn’t have many male relatives bearing their names. He had one brother, unfortunately, he died as a young adult.

In the Philippines, I salute the older generation of women on how they handle of having more kids. The minimum is 5 and maximum is 12. The more, the merrier. Having 3 kids is enough. Sometimes, I asked myself how they handled postpartum depression? I knew these terms were not very common in their times.

After giving birth to my first child, I really promised myself not to have more kids. The experience of giving birth makes me say in Cebuano, “MAKATAGAM!” I don’t know the equivalent word in English. It really took me time to recover because of my long labor for 12 hours. But we never cared about family planning.

Then, I got pregnant again while my first child was at 9 months. Although my mother in law was very worried, she asked my husband if we really wanted a second baby. In France, you have the option not to pursue the pregnancy. But I cried the idea of abortion. I don’t want that. It’s a gift because my mom appeared in my dream telling me I was pregnant.

But seeing your cute offsprings is just a joy. We can’t believe we are holding 2 kids in just 2 years. It’s amazing how these innocent kids growing up in our care. How these kids giving us a reason to laugh and smile.

On my birthday, my husband took a video of me blowing the candles while holding the two kids. Seeing the video made me cry suddenly. My husband became so worried why I cried like that. Is it tears of joy? Sure! It’s just pure magic having these two miracles in my arms. Because of these babies, I have a connection to my mother although she is gone already.

If only the process of pregnancy and postpartum would be easy, definitely, I want more. We want more. At most 5 kids, if money and health are not a problem.