No:30

July 19 ,2022

How much pain can you bear until you stop? How much agony would you allow for you to say , it's enough? Would you rather be in pain with him , or would you stand and let go and be happy alone?

A rainy and gloomy Monday . The cold weather gives us comfort and make us want to just lie down and do some movie marathon . A Korean series or the latest movie in netflix perhaps and munch with some fries or popcorn. But geez , i dont know but i'm not into it. As a mom , i kept myself busy with organizing things inside our little home. Taking advantage of the cold weather , i won't sweat doing all such stuff. Just perfect to declutter and organize our drawers .

I was talking to a friend thru messenger while decluttering. She's asking about some stuff i'm selling. After answering her queries i asked her if she's doing good now after the break up. Let's call her " Luka" or luka-luka ( crazy) for short, lol! She actually is crazy anyway. She said she's doing good already and passed the stage of grievance and crying all day and night. Good for her. I'm at the stage now that i realized how stupid i am and blindly inlove with him in the past , she added. Oh! you're getting there honey congratulations ! Your mind is working already. hahaha! That's a good sign to recovery i said.

I met Luka a year ago through our online selling racket and we became friends. Our relationship as seller and buyer goes beyond that. She's like a sister to me now. She is like an open book when it comes to her life. She's so true , she's not hiding anything about her life, even her being naughty and being a " pasaway" (don't care much about the rules or norms) . Straight to the point and that's what we like in her.

She was into a toxic relationship for over a year. I don't know what she sees in me for her to trust me enough about her problems and secrets. Anyway i became her confidante whenever she's having issues with her more "pasaway na boyfriend". Infedility , verbal abuse and some horrible things her ex -bf made her to do just to prove she loves him. They live together for almost a year.

Whenever she's hurting. She would call me or talked via video call. Third party issues , money and making her stupid over and over was a dillema for almost a year in the relationship. The beggining of tbeir love story went well but after the first quarter, problems arise.

She was not allowed to go outside her house. She's not allowed to wear sexy clothes ( She is pretty and sexy ) , put some nail polish and not allowed to take pictures of them together and post it to social media.

I kept telling her to let go of him but after a few days even if she's not at fault . She would say sorry and ask him to go back to her. It went over and over for a year. I kept telling her that i'm just here to listen but can't do anything with her problem unless she would help herself to come up with a firm decision of letting go.

I was so amazed on her strength to forgive and give chances as much as the days of calendar in a month. She was truly blinded by love for him. I kept telling her that's enough! You should think of yourself this time but just shrugg it off and would say " i love him so much, i can't live without him" line.

Oh, then don't talk to me about him anymore if you won't listen and just go on with your own. You want it ? then be strong enough to accept realities that you are going to cry over and over and get hurt untill your numb enough not to feel anything.

Until recently , she told me "ayoko na talaga"( i don't like it anymore) which i heard many times from her. But this time with conviction. They broke up over a month ago . She told me , " it's truly enough, i deserve to be happy and live a life on my own. I'm letting go of him for good. It made me smile coz i know this time she had enough.

Final thoughts

I was raised by a single mom and i witnessed how strong and brave my mother was. Knowing when to say enough, and when to stop... Not letting anyone , not even my father to continue to step on her and not allowed him to ruin her further.

For Men who can't be man enough to be a father and spouse , i pity you . For Men who values and respect us women , i salute you.

Thank you for the read.

grey23espartinas

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