My Love pt. 2

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Avatar for glossyberrycraze
Written by
4 years ago

You must read part 1 first! 🤗

Here's the link: https://read.cash/@glossyberrycraze/my-love-bfb3390c

One two three

I exhaled loudly

Four years have past

Time flies so fast

Five six seven,

I miss you, you in heaven

Seven eight nine,

You are still mine

Now on ten,

Again my love, until then.

Here's part 2! 😆

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Comments

I have read part 1 and part 2. I seem to understand. Now it felt like they did not even get the chance to get married and the numbering starts again. It sounds to me that after 4 years, he or she still cannot move on and only waiting for life to end so that they can meet again? Did I get that right this time?

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User's avatar heartbeat1515
4 years ago

pretty welll. thank you so much :)

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User's avatar glossyberrycraze
4 years ago

Nice

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User's avatar Jigglyspy
4 years ago

thank you! 🤗

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User's avatar glossyberrycraze
4 years ago

That seems to be a teenager rhyming. Keep it up

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User's avatar Bharti
4 years ago

thank you for this! 🤗

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User's avatar glossyberrycraze
4 years ago

MAS LALONG SUMAKIT HAHAHA

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User's avatar kli4d
4 years ago

HAHAHAHA sorry ulit 🤧 at thank you na rin hahaha 😆

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User's avatar glossyberrycraze
4 years ago

Why always a tragic ending 😔

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User's avatar girlnextdoor
4 years ago

😅😅😅

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User's avatar glossyberrycraze
4 years ago

Waahhh bat namn ganunnn sonteken keta dyan huehue

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User's avatar Charlotte
4 years ago

I can not say I like it. It misses something. Recognition, a touch of the heart, something to laugh about perhaps.

Writing poetry isn't easy if you do not speak the language well unless you are willing to study poetry, know how words are pronounced and how you can catch people with words.

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User's avatar wakeupkitty
4 years ago

Poetry is not just about having something you can laugh about, the main feeling the poet wants to convey is pain of lost and missing someone.

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User's avatar Charlotte
4 years ago

I know it is not just something to laugh about. I wrote I miss something... I miss the feeling no matter what feeling. It is as if you love to use as many of "academic" words as you can but the feeling, the message is not reaching me. These are just words, empty words to me. Not catchy, not touching. Words only are not making a poem but the way how they are used, the reader receives them. That is what I try to explain.

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User's avatar wakeupkitty
4 years ago

I understand that you didn't like it, of course we have our own interest and interpretation, but as i read your comment here and from her previous poem (part 1) you seem to be very offensive, if you don't like it okay no prob with that, if you want her to improve make your criticism a CONSTRUCTIVE one, be polite. Adding "cheap/worse" to your comment is way too mean.

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User's avatar Charlotte
4 years ago

And to make it clear, stop finding "something to laugh about" in my poem because I don't intend to make my readers laugh. With all due respect, if you understood the message of my poem, the girl died and the man is missing her. If it didn't reach you, or if it never gave you such "feelings", no problem. I don't intend to impress anyone with my poems/articles anyway. I write here to express myself. Thank you. 🙂

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User's avatar glossyberrycraze
4 years ago
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