My Love

20 27
Avatar for glossyberrycraze
Written by
3 years ago

One two three,

I counted when you said yes to me

Four five six,

Our 6th anniversary

Seven eight nine,

you are completely mine

Now on number ten,

We got engaged then

Nine eight seven,

You want many children

Six five four,

Wedding in an hour

Three two one,

Why are you gone

My love, until then.

This has part 2! 😊 Here's the link: https://read.cash/@glossyberrycraze/my-love-pt-2-6cc838f4

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Comments

Hala ka man dyaannn 🥺 last part nalang nawala pa kala ko happy ending na ihhh

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User's avatar Charlotte
3 years ago

hahahaha try ko gawan to ng part 2 😂

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User's avatar glossyberrycraze
3 years ago

Sigeeee usto ko🤧🤧

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User's avatar Charlotte
3 years ago

Nice

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User's avatar Jigglyspy
3 years ago

thank you, i appreciate it! ❤️

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User's avatar glossyberrycraze
3 years ago

Yung ending talaga yung maskait e hahaha

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User's avatar kli4d
3 years ago

hahahaha sori pu 🤧

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User's avatar glossyberrycraze
3 years ago

It sounds like he leaves because you don't want to give him children.

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User's avatar heartbeat1515
3 years ago

"I counted when you said yes to me" it's in the pov of the man, the girl is the one that leave him.

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User's avatar Charlotte
3 years ago

I think I better read the whole poetry or perhaps this poetry should be written in whole instead of pet one and part two. It gave me a different view from the original one.

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User's avatar heartbeat1515
3 years ago

This is the original one, that's why it's part 1. I wrote this first before I came up with the second part. Thanks 🙂

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User's avatar glossyberrycraze
3 years ago

I have read part two. Just my opinion, because you repeat the counting it made the two poems doesn't connect. It would sound much better if you can do something to make it connect next time. Thank you for giving me a reply.

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User's avatar heartbeat1515
3 years ago

Also, check it's part 2, the girl doesn't leave because she want to, she's in heaven, a kind of lost that's totally devastating.

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User's avatar Charlotte
3 years ago

Alright. I search whole the whole poem.

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User's avatar heartbeat1515
3 years ago

It's more like a rhythm, one that doesn't rhyme everywhere. I try to figure out a certain rhythm or logic but can not find it. As a poem (no need for a poem to rhyme) it doesn't really touch me but who knows @heartbeat1515 knows more.

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User's avatar wakeupkitty
3 years ago

She has written a better one. Perhaps she wrote this one in a hurry because this too simple as what she always wrote.

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User's avatar heartbeat1515
3 years ago

Number two, the follow up is even cheaper/worse. Perhaps it is a joke although I don't see the fun part of it. I don't know but poetry is a certain way of writing and most of what I read here is no poetry.

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User's avatar wakeupkitty
3 years ago

I have seen a few good ones but my reading time is not as much as you.

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User's avatar heartbeat1515
3 years ago

I doubt it is the reading time. Can be we follow different people or have a different idea if it comes to poetry?

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User's avatar wakeupkitty
3 years ago

Perhaps we have different ideas but that is not bad. We have a lot of angles of views.

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User's avatar heartbeat1515
3 years ago
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