The love of my life.

Memories have become my yearnings. I look in the mirror and see a sign that I am not so young anymore, my body is now a little heavier. I keep my body in shape though. I was always a lover of walking and a good healthy way of eating, I have marks on my skin, a sign in my eyes and on the corner of my lips that tell me I am no longer 20 years old.

It all happened so fast... or so it seems to me. 30 years can't go by that fast, or can they?

I am 20 years old. I have the best job in the world, an apartment in the best part of town and I am considered a very bold woman in the company. I am being sent as a representative of my company to a new city, about an 8 hour flight away, I am to spend about 6 months there, I have to train new staff to start a branch of the same company I am in.

I say goodbye for 6 months to my favorite city and then I arrive in this beautiful one. It’s a little slower than what I’m used to, but with beautiful people. There I met him, he was standing next to a group of people coming from another city to present other ideas to the same company and so I was introduced and his eyes met mine.

Something happened right then, even though I am very independent I felt like a stranger in the city, I must say that accidentally meeting him on several occasions made us strike up a conversation and then we made an appointment to meet at lunchtime and so on…

What was bound to happen happened, we fell in love. We went out to the movies, out to dinner, shared a lot with friends, but we became sweethearts. I loved him.

He carried himself with a strong bearing, white skin and hair like the sun, his green eyes and moustache were a little darker than his hair and he was very gentle and funny. He practiced soccer with his friends and had friendly competitions, so his body was that of an exercised man, but he had to go on a trip to another city and I was left alone again… It would be for a month and then he would come back.

I waited for him to come back in a month, but I agreed to go out with other people. I was a woman with many attributes, God spared no effort with me and gentlemen always approached me with a lot of willingness. I always accepted outings but in groups of friends and even then gentlemen did not hesitate to ask for my exclusive company, which I refused. I already had someone to think about.

But when the time came for him to return, Esteban came back but did not look for me, I saw him in the distance, once he approached me. I waited for his affectionate greeting but his words were cold.

"I heard that you have had a lot of fun in my absence" and I only managed to say…

"Yes, but we must talk, I don't know what they told you, I want to explain and we can meet somewhere at 3 pm."

I went there, waited for him… but he never showed up, and that was as far as my courtship went. Every time I saw him he was busy and would barely turn his gaze towards me and then retreat… I had to call it quits.

My date at this branch was over and I went back to my hometown, but I never heard from him again, but still my mind would always play tricks on me and I would dream of him being with me and we would go back to being happy like in those months, I enjoyed my thoughts very much remembering the months I spent with him.

I had thought about starting my family, having children, and living in the city we would choose to live in.

I had dreamed that he was the man I had always dreamed of and with whom I would spend the rest of my days, but the dream always woke me from my litany just to show me that I was alone and that I never found the man of my life again.

Over the years I tried to locate him, and I always said to myself.

"And yes he also remembers me as I do. I will look for him even though it has been 10 years." My search paid off, a friend of mine found him and I sent him my memories.

But again I had to leave again, this time for another country, I stayed several years, and when I returned, the best years of my life had already passed, always with my longings,

I returned to my city. Now I am a single woman, 50 years old. I still have many attributes but my desires to find him are not extinguished and now I am looking for him again. Calling some friends, I got a phone and called him, but he never picks up.

I decided to look him up online. I put in his full name and there he was. My heart skipped a beat, it was him. But what it said there left me heartbroken, it was his obituary. He had been killed in a car accident, over a year ago.

My heart wept bitterly. I didn't believe it, so several times I called him but he didn't pick up and several times I searched for his name only to always find the goodbyes of people who loved him.

Then I found a friend, we had not seen each other for more than 30 years and without telling him anything, she told me about him. She told me that he was looking for me. That he was in some places, that every time he saw her he asked her if she didn't know about me.

Life has many mysteries and this is one for me. At the time I was looking for him he was also looking for me. But only God knows why we could never be together.

He is gone. I am 50 years old now. I still remember him, with the same questions and now I only continue with the memories of the days we lived together and the way it all ended.

All the beauty in my body was of no use to me if my heart only held the love of one man, for my whole life, and even after his death I still remember him like the first day…

This is a fictitious story. I suddenly wanted to travel through my brain and make a love story out of it.

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