I'll tell you.

I like many things in life but there is something that I have never been able to overcome and that is to be in a group of people, or in a meeting, or something like that.

As time has gone by I have been able to fraternize with people but the more I get to know them the less I identify with them. I remember that I was always a different person, I look for a lot of details on everything.

I don't understand people and I don't think the world understands me. A lot of the things I talk about seem like it's not what people as a whole often do. I prefer the solitude of my home. I'd rather be in my garden in my house, with my flowers, with my things, than be at a gathering of people, at a party or something.

I don't know how to behave. I don't know how to engage in conversations of interest, the topics that I like are generally not liked by others.

I believe and give a lot of power to the idea that I grew up in a house with 5 siblings. Two of them the oldest who did not like to converse with younger siblings and two siblings younger than me, and who I cared for, generally.

We were never allowed to go to the birthday parties of friends or classmates, much less the neighbors. I had to play alone at recess since if my siblings saw me with a stranger, they would inform my mother when they got home and then it would reach my father's ears, who later would punish me, so that I would always remember to follow the rules of the household whether my parents were present or not.

It was terrible. Because when I began to study a career, in order to relate to people, I had to hide a lot that I didn't know how to start a conversation.

But something happened for me, I didn't have to talk fraternally with patients, but I had to find out medically what their problem was. So that was easier for me, it’s better to ask what their pain is, where it starts and what they feel than to ask what things they like, if they know a fashionable singer or if they go to this convent or that one.

So studying a health career taught me to pretend that I couldn't relate normally to people, because I was educated at home in a very peculiar way.

My classmates used to tease me. I didn't know what a movie theater was when I was 18, I had never been to a party with friends during the day, let alone imagined going at night, and I didn't know how to lie because at home lying was punished.

I didn't know how to defend myself from punishments and offenses because I had to keep quiet when someone told me something I couldn't control.

To learn to master the ways of being of people I had to copy many things and quirks from the other people I saw while I was studying. I would meet girls similar to me in character, quiet and from home and I learned to be like them. How they talked, what they said, even what they ate and drank. I had to know and learn.

I spent many years of my life growing up and learning about people's ways. In the end I would copy some things about how they expressed or carried themselves but then that same thing that caught my attention in them would wear me down and I couldn't take it anymore.

My life was full of many similarities with friends, of many verbal expressions and idioms of my classmates, and I was always imitating, trying to learn. But thanks to the fact that I have spent my whole life studying, I have been able to learn by reading many topics about behavior.

Psychology, the science of behavior, training and morals and many more subjects from the classes I saw during my higher education helped me to define my personality a little more.

I still define myself as a very strange person. I don't like crowds or large groups. I don't like interviews, questions from strangers to get to know the person next to them.

I think I would lack many years of life to be able to better understand most of the people around me and I consider myself a very difficult person to understand, but I have a lot of patience, a lot of gratitude, I am very optimistic and I am more than anything a fighting woman who does not let obstacles stop her so easily.

This is a post made so that you can understand a little more about the behavior of people who are not so easy to know on the outside.

I'm @gertu13 from Venezuela.