A sincere friend?

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3 years ago

It occurs to me to talk about friendship since we are in an environment where we know many people. Some know each other from before entering this site and others know each other from here but have already formed strong bonds. Others are very friendly and become friends with everyone. Some of us even like to use the word friend, and it's not wrong to do so, it's just that there are many types of friends.

In psychology you can find definitions for the word friend, but I’m not going to write a concept of this word.

But a memory of Aristotle came to my mind, he stated and classified friendship in three ways. All three are good ways to be friends. But it’s good that we know how to differentiate each type because this brings us peace of mind and so we can know what to face when we are in search of a friend, at least according to Aristotle's classification.

As far as I remember he first defined a type of friendship, which is for some personal interest. People are clear or should be clear, we are friends because I am interested in something about you. I want to get a benefit from being with you, I want a job and with you I will get it, I want to pass an exam and you will help me, I want to meet someone important and through your interception I will succeed and so on.

From unsplash

This is what we call an interested friend. We all notice when we have an interested friend. He always compliments us. He always makes us stand out so that we feel important and only then will he succeed in achieving his goal.

A second type of friendship is one where they like to be with you, they share many things, they like you as you are with your personality. They can usually be very close to keep each other company and enjoy pleasant moments. We go to parties, get-togethers, have fun, recreate or even have personal relationships of the intimate type without going beyond an occasional affair.

And then, one of us may think he or she is a real friend but also one of us is clear on what he or she wants… Just to hang out. As soon as difficulties arise they withdraw, they’re not that kind of friend to stick with you through thick and thin. They withdraw until things get better for you, after all I they’re only with you because you’re both having a great time but your personal or legal problem situation is yours alone, so solve it.

Then you meet again because you have a great time having fun. This is an occasional friend, only on the occasion of enjoyment, nothing more.

And then there’s the third type of friend. This one is unconditional. He is your friend for whatever happens. It’s the one who over time has strengthened ties because he found in you the right characteristics to maintain a lasting and sincere friendly relationship.

It’s that friendship that we all wish to have, unconditional friends for our whole life, and it’s a thing that both parties feel. I am your friend for anything, I look for you when I’m going through sad times and I need a shoulder to cry on and you offer it to me. I need you because I'm sick and I need someone to help me. There they are, no matter what ails us they stay with you and give you support.

That friendship that takes years, that distance cannot separate because they have no walls. I’ll travel to be with you if you need me. I’ll leave what I'm doing because your situation is more important, I’ll celebrate with you your triumphs without envy because your triumph is mine.

This is the hardest kind of friends to find, but I assure you from my own experience that you can find them, and when you do, it is for life.

I once read that if we have even one friend with these characteristics that I just mentioned then we are the luckiest people in the world and much luckier when you can have more than one friend.

I have always considered myself a very fortunate woman because I can even count on true friendship. It’s a gift of life to be able to count on a sincere friend.

Can you tell me about your experience with a true friend? Or with a friend of the first or second types?




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3 years ago

Comments

Hello. having a true friend, the kind that you have in good and bad times is like having another member of the family. I am privileged to have a great friend, a gift of life. Although she has been living in another country for the last few years, we communicate daily. Thanks for your article, interesting classification of friendship according to Aristotle. Greetings.

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3 years ago

Thanks for stopping by to comment. I'm glad you have a good friend because you happen to be a very lucky person. Not many make it but when you have them you don't let go and keep them forever.

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3 years ago

I have had countless experiences with the first and second friends you describe, but the last one is still here and she has proven to be more than a friend. Our bond is getting stronger by the day, and I can fully depend on her for her support all round, whether in good times or in bad times.... I am not going to let her go not for any reason

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3 years ago

I congratulate you... it's the best decision you can make in life because a best friend makes you the luckiest person in the world.

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3 years ago

The friends of the first, and second groups, come and go throughout our lives. Some may even have left a mark. But at a certain point, they aren't part of our life anymore. The unconditional friend, on the other hand, is always there for us despite physical distance. These are friends for life. I'm also lucky to have friends like that. Although, there aren't too many.

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3 years ago

You can consider yourself as a very lucky person. Because not many people in life can find friends for life. And it is true that those of the first and second group come and go but some remain for many, many years and without wanting to be true friends.

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3 years ago

It's true what you say. Some of the not true friends are present in all our lives. But they will never become an unconditional friendship.

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3 years ago

This is so true. Friends no matter how wonderful the definition in general, can be flawed too in reality. That's why we choose the kind of friends that are sincere, noble and true. The 3rd is indeed worth keeping.

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3 years ago

I think what matters is that you know what kind of friend you have. So that you don't get disconnected later on. There are friends for partying and they are great but they are not friends for difficulties. On those occasions they appear to be your true friends. We must be clear in what we have and be happy.

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3 years ago

Hello my dear Gertu, another great article, I like this topic, because they say that friends are like angels, however, I agree with you, we must know what kind of friends we have, because the word friendship is very big, and anyone can be a friend, but not everyone can give you a good friendship.

I don't consider myself an unconditional friend, because I can't be there all the time, but when I can be there I certainly support no matter what, I give that helping hand that is needed, I listen, support, advise, and if I can guide I do it, I like to treat as I would like to be treated, give that affection, show that love, and help when needed, unfortunately, I have come across those interested friends, that appear when they need something from you, that's why I have very few friends, I like sincerity, and interested people really give me a headache, so I better stay away from those toxic friendships, who see you as a toolbox, where they can find solutions to their problems, but when you need a helping hand, curiously none of them have hands.

The truth is that I have always thought that there are good friendships that can do more for you than your own family, and this is where we can apply that when we talk about friends, quality matters more than quantity.

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3 years ago

Yes. That's what I wrote in the post. I once read somewhere that if you have only one friend in your whole life you can consider yourself the luckiest person in the world. Because friends for parties and friends for occasions you can get them anywhere but a soul friend for life is only once in a lifetime.

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3 years ago

I am happy you found friends who you can trust with and count on. As for me, I have few friends because I am really picky for I do want to be with friends who are worthy of my trust.

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3 years ago

The task of making friends is hard work. Friends are made. As you grow and mature you offer your virtues and they offer them to you as well. That person who gives his time and space to give the best to you, never let him go. He will forever be your friend.

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3 years ago

I only have virtual friends right now, and I can still tell if who's who and their type. But I still Iike all of them no matter what their type. Because if them I have a happy life hehw.

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3 years ago

From what I've read you don't share much with other people. So you won't have your personal friend with you. But you can have virtual friends, you live far away and only communicate online. That is fine.

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3 years ago

Yeahh, I don't want to go outside actually because I find it boring and a hassle 🤧

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3 years ago

They are options in life and you choose which ones to live with. If you are happy as you are, keep being happy... don't let anyone stop you.

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3 years ago

I have many friends but only a few are real.. Lol.. And I blessed to have at least a few than nothing 😁

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3 years ago

The wonderful thing about all this is that you can differentiate which are your soul friends and which are your eventual friends. This way we are happier, getting to know each other.

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3 years ago

I had those types of friends in my life. But the last one are my favorites. They're not my childhood friend nor college buddies, we just meet in a certain page of my story but then they become part of the next chapters of it. We always had time catching up with each other. I am also blessed with a gift of friendship in this life.

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3 years ago

We have all had different types of friends. I'm glad you have the best friends today.

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3 years ago

Yes I am so blessed to have them. I am glad you have as well.

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3 years ago

Fortunately I have had the happiness and fortune to have among my friends people of the third type, lately they are scarce and there are many interested people, hehehehehehehehehe

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3 years ago

Yes, life takes us through different types of friendships. It's always good to know who's who so we don't complain. It's good that you also have good people by your side today.

Thank you very much for your patronage. I was going to give you mine when I saw yours. Now I have to wait so I can sponsor you in the future. Much success my friend.

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3 years ago

My friends are not that many but they are real and that is enough reason to keep and value them.😊

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3 years ago

I am glad that being so young you already have these wonderful people who will accompany you throughout your life.

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3 years ago

I am not someone who keeps friends like that because I don't want to be hurt or betrayed. I had rather be on my own. Though I have a friend who we have been together for over 11years and she is like a sister to me. I would say she is the only unconditional friend I have because she always with me through my Problems.

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3 years ago

With that one friend you are the luckiest person in the world. Not many people manage to have unconditional friends.

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3 years ago

I have many friends that I have considered but never came again that I am treated something like this. Maybe because I don't really like to rely on other people other than my family. Hmmm.. I was once being betrayed but I already forgave and forgot that incident had happened before. Maybe that's the reason why I don't have this kind of friend with me now.

But...I am opened to have it, wholeheartedly thou, a boy/girl.

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3 years ago

Friends are made, not born. You will have the opportunity to foster fraternal bonding with a good friend for life.

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3 years ago

Wow! I am just so thankful to have this unconditional type of friend. Through thick and thin, sadness and happiness. She's with me. I've met her last 2019, but we got to have a lot of bonds created. Experienced such hardships together and were able to surpass it with each other as well. Hopefully this unconditional friendship we have will be blessed more.

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3 years ago

I congratulate you for the bond you are forging. It is nourished day by day and has no limits. It is for life that you manage to make a sincere friendship.

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3 years ago

Thank you ma'am for your warm words. God bless you. 💗

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3 years ago

Im thankful to have unconditional friendship not one but my our group is helping each other no matter what happen. We lift up those who are in down side. We cllaugh to each other and we should cry together while doing our best t move on

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3 years ago

From a group will always come your best friend for life. Just try to forge strong bonds and nothing and no one will ever break them.

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3 years ago

I'm blessed by God with the unconditional ones 💗 I even wrote an article to show the world how grateful I am to have them, it's entitled "College Bestfriends Reveal" 💗

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3 years ago

Good for you, congratulations. Continue to strengthen your lifelong friendship.

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3 years ago

I am confident that friends were the unconditional ones 🤗 I am so happy and blessed to have them in my life 🤗

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3 years ago

Yes, a good friend always makes us happy. May God bless your lives.

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3 years ago