A vintage watering can and Compassion

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Avatar for fantagira
3 years ago

Sunday, 11th of July 2021

I have read a few articles on Compassion prompt given to us by @JonicaBradley and of course I would love to add my 5 cents to it. If you haven't joined already, here are the rules of the challenge:

The rules are simple.

  1. Write about compassion

  2. Write 100% original content

  3. Write at least 600 words

  4. Tag  @JonicaBradley

  5. Have fun

How full is Your jar?


Most people think of others when asked what compassion means to them. I feel what we actually need most and first is compassion for ourselves. How can we give compassion to others if our jar is empty?

How many times do we forgive other people for what they did? We feel hurt, betrayed or angry at first, but once these emotions pass we explain the actions of others to ourselves and find it easier to forgive. The same when we see people struggling, be it emotionally, financially or physically. We feel compassion for them. We might have been in a similar situation before and understand what they are going through, or we just want them to do better. That’s compassion.

How about ourselves? We understand that other people have their flows, but are we equally compassionate towards ourselves? I for one have always been judging myself much harsher than anyone else. Until I found Ernesto the donkey inside me to put the blame on him 😅 Just kidding of course. Before Ernesto I have found many other animals and characters inside. We all have many faces and each gets triggered to appear in different circumstances.

I opted for first getting to know each side of myself, understanding them and their motifs and eventually grew to love them all too. There is a little girl inside me who cries when people shout at me, there is a bitch who bites if someone tries to attack, there is a knight who wakes up seeing injustice or bullying towards my loved ones, there is a Princess who wants to be adored by all, there is Ernesto, who’s stubborn as f*** and probably many more who I skip for now.

Knowing each part of myself and understanding why they appear helps me feel compassionate towards them all. They have an important role to play and even when I am not proud of their actions at times, I understand that the source of their actions is often the pain that I haven’t dealt with in my past. Each action of compassion for them makes them just a little less powerful and a little kinder during their next visit.

Years ago I decided to leave my husband. We’ve been together for 15 years, since I was 16 years old. I was struggling with making this decision for around 5 years prior to it. I felt guilty for first promising him to spend my life with him and then my feelings towards him changed more and more and with every action of his I respected him less. I didn’t want to end up hating him and I couldn’t imagine having a family with him. I was too scared of ending up like my parents. I had to leave.

Over the next few years I spent 100’s of pounds on trying to ‘fix’ my chronic neck pain. Physio, sport massage, acupuncture, strong medications that made me sleep all day, you name it and I tried it. I would only ever experience a temporary release. Until I learned that emotion of guilt can be trapped in our body, usually in the neck area. All these years I was in pain of guilt for leaving my husband. That was when I decided it was time to forgive myself. When I first felt compassion towards myself is when my healing journey began.

David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D., an internationally renowned spiritual teacher, psychiatrist, physician, researcher, and developer of the widely-known Map of Consciousness, presents a diagram of vibrational states of being in his book Power vs. Force. This diagram matches the vibrational frequency of its corresponding emotion. He mentions that 99% of the world’s population is living at a contracted frequency (below 200). Thus, the vast majority of humanity is either suffering or just getting by. To live in flow, in love, and in peace, you need to raise your vibration to match that of which you wish to attract.

Quote and image source: https://thriveglobal.com/stories/how-to-become-the-best-version-of-yourself-by-raising-your-vibration/

As you can see on the above diagram, I was vibrating at 30, constantly contracted instead of expanded. I was suffering on my own request, punishing myself for my past. Once I have shown willingness to forgive myself, acceptance followed and soon I was able to LOVE again.

Who deserves our compassion?

That’s the thing about compassion. The full meaning and depth of compassion does not choose the subject. Heart full of compassion is always open for everyone and everything.

One of those sunny days last year, I sat in front of my house with a cup of coffee, aligning my face to the morning sun. It took me probably half an hour to realise that 2 of my hanging baskets were missing. Another 10 minutes or so to realise that my newly purchased rose and beautiful vintage watering can were missing too. Someone must have stolen them the night before. My first reaction was sadness. I cried my eyes out. The hanging baskets with specific types of fruits I brought all the way from Poland. The watering can was old and given to me by my brother.

My beloved watering can from my brother. Maybe I should have kept it here forever.

Next I felt anger and resentment towards whoever stole these items. I looked suspiciously at everyone who passed my house wondering if it was them. Eventually compassion took place of the lower vibe emotions. How sad must be someone’s life to be doing such things? How little do they have in life? How hurt inside they must be to justify these actions?


Hurt people hurt people.

Above is a trivial example. I don’t want to bring heavy stuff here. It can however be applied to everyone who did any harm towards us, our loved ones, strangers or animals. The truth is that they are the ones who need our love and compassion the most. Had they been given enough of these two emotions, they most likely wouldn’t turn out the way they did. They simply don’t know any better.

I understand this might be difficult concept to grasp and digest, let alone practice, but the alternative is anger, resentment and judgement and these are the vibrations we don’t ever want to keep around ourselves and our loved ones, as they only contract our bodies and souls.

Wanted!

Speaking of compassion. I know it is not easy to make first steps on any platform, since I have been there myself many times. I would love to reach out to new users of read.cash or those who are struggling with visibility on this platform. If you are one of those or have friends who are good writers and are in need of a sponsorship, please tag them here. I will of course first read your articles before I decide to sponsor you.


So far I have been sponsoring these great creators: @MarSou @TheEmpress @BSzandra @VoluntaryJapan @Olasquare @Judith1969 @emily2u @aj_u2 @CoquiCoin @Mictorrani @zellypearl @Meyzee @ARTicLEE @Princessbusayo but I am always happy to sponsor new writers to help them on their journeys.

Until next time 💙

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3 years ago

Comments

A nice article to read about and it's topic was truly relaxing loves a lot .

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2 years ago

I would feel bad to see my stuff missing especially if those have sentimental value, but yes, you're right when anger subsides you would feel sad for some people who have do steal. It's hard, but if you're whole and free, you can do it.

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3 years ago

Absolutely. There are people who have less and who are hurt. Let them enjoy it 😉

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3 years ago

This is a very important article. You are so right. I agree we must have compassion for ourselves first and foremost. Now, if only I can practice it.

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3 years ago

There she is, my fairy Godmother 😘 I am sure you can find it in you to give compassion to yourself. You are such a lovely soul 💙

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3 years ago

It's a daily work in progress.

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3 years ago

Compassion is one of the interesting topic ever and when you discuss about it I really understand it's very well and also amazed by the way you elaborate the topic. And I just want to add that your an amazing person because you support newbie here or just starting their journey in read.cash that's a big help to everyone and also boost their confidence in writing. Also to motivate and inspired them knowing that they have people who support and believe on them.

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3 years ago

Thank you so much my friend, I am very happy that you have found this article useful.

Yes, paying it forward is the only way to succeed. I was once a newbie and I will never forget the kind souls who decided to support me on my journey. @JonicaBradley was my first sponsor and others followed soon. Now it’s my time to spread the kindness around 💙

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I somehow see myself on you unto the part where I have struggles forgiving someone to the point that I felt anger and resentment to them. But 2021 thought me different lesson and I learned to let go of such attitude and consume only positive energy becoming less of stress and out of hatred to myself and to the people around me.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

I am happy to read this Grace. It’s for our own good to forgive others and ourselves too. Thank you for stopping by and reading 💙

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3 years ago

My pleasure 🥰 I will be your constant visitor from now on. I like how you write. You have so much wisdom to learn. 😊

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3 years ago

Aww 🥰 Thank you so much! That’s the sweetest thing I have heard today 💙

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3 years ago

You most welcome. 😊

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3 years ago

That's an in depth understanding of what compassion is all about. We should be more understanding of others and be more in control of our feelings. Sometimes we react right away with anger or hate. I'm guilty of it for sometimes I still get mad easily only to regret my words and actions in the end. With compassion comes empathy.

I forgot who I have interacted with that I thought have potential. Most of the times I'm interacting to the same people :D

$ 0.05
3 years ago

I agree Lee. As long as you catch yourself doing it, it’s a perfect opportunity to practice compassion for yourself too.

Me too, my circle of friends is expanding, but I read mostly the same people, hence why I am asking my friends to tag newbies. Last night I read a lot of new people too. This post is here, so if ever you remember who it was or find new ones, feel free to tag them here.

$ 0.01
3 years ago

Okay, I'll do that. I'll try and check on some new ones later on.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

No pressure Lee 💙

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I'm glad to know you more 🙂

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Little by little I expose more of my dark secrets ☺️ Thank you for reading my friend 💙

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I love your approach to the topic of compassion. And on how we must be compassionate with ourselves first.

Regarding newbies on the platform. You could check @SaraEscribe. She is a young woman from Honduras. I like how she writes. ;)

A big hug for you, my dear Monika. :)

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Yes, totally.

I will check her out tomorrow. Tonight just meditation and bed for me. Still painful after all day of working in my front garden yesterday 😅

Hug your way too 💙

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3 years ago

Have a good rest! Sweet dreams! ♡

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3 years ago

As the saying goes "you don't give what you don't have" it takes a good heart to be compassionate

$ 0.03
3 years ago

It does. Thank you for stopping by and reading 💙

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3 years ago

I love your comparison of compassion with jar. Like how can we give compassion from an empty jar? Thanks for stretching out hand of compassion by sponsoring newbies. God bless you always.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Thank you for taking your time to read this. Would you also like my sponsorship? 💙

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Yes of course. It would be a great pleasure on my part.

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3 years ago

Awesome, it's done 💙

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3 years ago

Compassion is all about feelings that linked us by kindness. Sad about your husband give up. Anyway, it is personal. We should not hurt people who hurt us. We love and give compassion to change hate into love.

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3 years ago

I am not feeling sad about it anymore. Our paths moved away from each other long before I took this step. It’s my past now and I will always be grateful for the part of my life we spent together.

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3 years ago

You took brave decision. Best of luck for your future life.

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3 years ago

Let me join train as a newbies, just that my article has no value yet

$ 0.03
3 years ago

I will check your articles tomorrow 💙

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3 years ago