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Success, when this word is spoken or mentioned most of us only think about careers and the life we currently cherish. Success may be associated in many forms but then for me, I'm not a successful lady, I have nothing to be proud of especially when it comes to monetary terms. My 1BCH isn't that big enough to be brag about. I'm just any ordinary woman you'll meet if ever.
But then there were moments, unforgettable moments of when not once but twice in my life, I had drenched from success. A moment of success that leads me into the life I have today.
Just like any typical girl, I have dreams to pursue, I used to dream big but I always fear the most.
Just like any human being, one of my dreams is to have a family in the future, with kids, a girl, and a boy. But then thinking about giving birth gives me fear, a fear that I can't imagine.
When I was in college, I have classmates who are already mothers. And every time there's a vacant time all we do is chit chat and share experiences and stories. Then one time, my mommy classmate shares her experience about giving birth.
It was hell, she said. She almost died of pain and nervousness. The entire room was filled with her shout and groans.
Imagining the scenario, I became uncertain about getting pregnant in the future. I'll just whisper to myself, men are indeed lucky, they won't suffer what women undergo in life.
Seeing your carbon copies and holding their tiny and warm body is indeed amazing, but then before that, a hell of a kind experience you should withstand first.
When I became a mom unexpectedly, unplanned I never thought of my fear way back in my college years. I forgot about it, but then as months passed, I can certainly feel the life inside of me. I worry about things in the future, the things unforeseen. Maybe it was because of the normal hormones when a lady is expectant to bear a child.
Then as months passed, I was near to giving birth, I suddenly remember the scenes my classmate told me about and some scenes in the movies. I became frightened but then I fight it and ignore it in any way I can.
Until the day, the most awaited day of my pregnancy. It's past 11 pm when I felt my tummy in unexplainable pain. A pain that I couldn't bear easily. It didn't stop and I ended up crawling in my bed.
I was full of sweat but then, my partner managed to prepare a glass of milk for me. After I'm finished with the milk, he carries all our essentials for the hospital and called a taxi.
Then I saw myself in pain but stronger than I think. I never shout just like in movies, I never trembled and cries, but I sat still and calmly while going to the hospital.
We walked to the emergency room and waited for further examination and assessment then I heard the doctor called a staff through a telephone.
“Patient here is ready to deliver, please assist her to the delivery room right away.”
I changed my clothes into hospital lab gowns, and a man arrives with a wheelchair. He brought me to the delivery room and left me there without leaving any words or instructions.
Everything on me was in pain but I managed to walk while holding my dextrose and look for people around and I saw a room with an open door and I entered.
Gladly my feet lead me to the delivery ward, and I saw other women giving birth. All were shouting and screaming with tears in their eyes.
My heart was like in a drum roll, I am breathing deeply, trying to calm myself and keep my sanity while in pain.
When the doctor calls me, I immediately stand and pray.
She told me to lie and positioned my body, she instructed me not to shout not scream so it will not be hard for me.
Then she told me to push and I was in unbearable pain, it was hell indeed. I'm catching my breath but I still followed what my doctor told me. I bit my lips and after another push, I heard a silent cry.
It was a success, I prayed and thanked God immediately when I felt the warm body of my boy in my tummy.
But I'm not wishing to experience it again, just like any mothers' scripts after birth.
Then unexpectedly, by surprise, we're blessed with another little man almost after 3 years, but this one had given me stress.
I just knew about my second baby’s condition inside when I underwent an ultrasound. The doctor told me that my baby inside the womb got a double looped cord coil on his neck.
At first, I have no idea what it is, then he explained that the cord coil of my baby was twisted in my baby's neck twice.
After that my uncertainty attacked me, I am afraid to undergo a caesarian section. Though I already experienced
My OB told me to calm down and let my fears go, he did anything to calm me down and forget about my baby's situation.
When I was rushed to the hospital, I labored for 14 hours and it was tough than my first.
I am praying so hard to be strong to deliver my child via normal delivery.
When the nurse checked my baby's heartbeat, she can't find it, she tried almost 5 times and all we heard was a faint sound.
I was afraid, still in pain but I tried my best to keep calm so I always took a deep breath. As they rushed me to the delivery room, I almost gave up.
I can't push my child and I'm exhausted, but the doctor and the nurses cheered me up, saying I can do it.
And finally, regardless of his double-looped cord coil on the neck, I delivered him via spontaneous normal delivery.
I felt extreme relief, but at the same time, I felt sorry for a co-mommy who gave birth that day.
Giving birth isn't and will never be easy and to be honest, the two wonderful chapters of me being a mom was a sorrowful experience for the others.
On my firstborn, I had a co-mommy who gave birth on the same day and time, but unfortunately, she underwent a c-section and didn't make it. The baby was alive but the mother failed to fight for her life.
While on my second, the same thing happened to a girl who gave birth, it's sad both she and her child didn't make it.
Bringing a child here on Earth is extremely between life and death experience, you can't imagine the feeling of it unless you'd gone through it. The pain is real, the intolerable and puzzling pain but then it's worth it if you successfully delivered your child, your flesh and blood.
So for me, I may not be successful in money, I am a successful woman in terms of embracing motherhood.
Bringing two lives here in the world was my story of success. I have battled life and death carrying and delivering a life inside of me, I overcome my fears and uncertainties and recognize I can be stronger more than I could've imagined.
Ps: Sorry for another story of mine, just sharing with you my experience of how I celebrated success as a mom.
This article is inspired and my part of the current prompt given by@JonicaBradley. Whoever might read this, I am inviting you! You are always welcome to write your own definition or story of success. Share your story and join the fun!