Stress

Cannot remember the last time I was stressed out. Maybe it was when I had my last surgery last year when my wound would not heal or to be exact, when my stitches did not close my wounds. It was a very stressful experience of having a surgery during this time of pandemic. It even decreased my healing time because I kept on thinking about it each passing day most especially every after my visit to the doctor. I am not making up stories but it took 4 months for my wound to completely heal. It was so hard for me to move that time with an open tummy. Maybe you are imagining open as in open that you can see my intestines. Not that deep though. If you are cleaning your navels, maybe that deep or about almost as long as a cotton buds. That is why we bought a cotton applicator or the long cotton buds that is used for swab testings.

I am not afraid to look at my wound that time so whenever I would go to the doctor, I always watch him how he cleans my wound that I even took a video of it. He was like stirring up my wound after he had poured the agua oxinada or hydrogen peroxide. But even if I was having fun watching it, I was really stressed out. It was hard for me to move that much because there were times that I felt that my skin was tearing up especially when he stitched me up twice after my post operation.

And yesterday, I was so stressed out again because of my brother's business. It was around past 8 in the evening when they came home and I was already at the top room because I was watching some Filipino teleseryes. I did not bother to greet them because not only are they going to take a bath but I know that they were tired. It was my godson who went up to the room after he had taken a bath with his mother who still hasn't so she did not enter the room. It is just a hunch but I feel like my brother is a little mad at me. He did not message me the whole day yesterday nor did he went to my room last night. It was my sister-in-law who messaged me and said that she was sorry that they were not able to go home the other night and she was worried that I might be hungry and told me that there were some chips in their pantry. I replied that it was not nothing and that I was still able to eat when they were away because their helper prepared food for me.

This morning while I was watching the morning mass, I heard my brother walked down to the kitchen and had breakfast. I knew that he has work because if not, he will eat breakfast the same time as his son and wife. I was not able to go down to see him because I was already watching the mass.

When I had breakfast with my godson and sister-in-law, we talked a little about their store. She asked me some questions and I also gave some suggestions like adding some cigarettes to the store and also a UV light money detector. Then I saw a lot of Korean products in the kitchen and I was informed that my brother bought all of it so they can try it. I suggested that to my brother during the opening when I was sort of debriefing his staffs. LOL. I pretended that I was a customer and asked a lot of questions. So my brother was a little problematic on how he can let their staffs eat their products because I told them they can try one pack each so all of the staffs can share on one product. We continued our discussion even when my godson had his classes.

How well do you manage your stress? Before when I was stressed out I would just smoke some cigarettes and I am already relieved. Yes, the problem was still there but I somehow calmed down and I was able to clear my mind. There was also a time that I would just exercise either I would run or lift the dumbbells. It was one of the best ways to destress for me. And then there was stress eating. I am positive that majority of us are guilty on this one.

I am not that person whom you shouod be asking on how I handle stress. Being an overthinker, I tend to stress myself even more especially now that I am staying here at my brother's place. While I was drafting this, my brother came home from work and I was in the kitchen with my godson. He just gave me that cold stare and I could not speak. His son was going to approach him but I stopped him because his dad has not yet took a shower. Then when he came out of the bathroom, he said that we should all try the ramen that they bought. All of us are to choose 1 each and we have to consume it by Friday because that is the time they will go back to the store.

I did not ask my sister-in-law who was manning the store other than their staffs but I overheard that it was her mom. Today, I must say that I am not that bothered and stressed about their store compared to yesterday according to my stress level on my smartwatch. I also prayed last night so that I will be able to clear my mind and He did. Prayers are really powerful. Other than praying, what also helped me to relieve my stress was after I have let out my thoughts and feelings in publishing my article, Bad sister.

We were like having noodles "mukbang" for dinner. We cooked 5 packs of noodles and I am so full until now. I should have drank some tea but I am not sure if they have tea.

We all do experience being stressed but I hope we can manage or learn how to control and handle it because too much stress can lead to other chronic diseases like heart disease, increase in blood pressure even eczema and menstrual period. I hope that we can try to live a stress-free life in the coming days.

P.S. lead image is a screenshot from my health app.