Bad sister

This afternoon as I was reading some articles from differebt users, I read @BreadChamp's article when she asked if she was a bad sister. She did something to her brothers but she has a vaoid reason for it. You can read all about it here. Because of her article, I contemplated about my current situation and decided to publish an article about it.

Have you been a bad sister or brother to your siblings? I think I have asked a very common question that needs no answer. At some point in our lives, we have played that evil sister or brother to them. Agree or agree? LOL. Just like me, I was really a bad sister to my brother. We were practically like cats and dogs when we were growing up. Even if I was the youngest, I was the one who always pick up a fight with him. I have physically hurt my brother countless of times before. I would grab his hair and I must see to it that I was able to pull a lot of his hair and I always did. Thankfully he did not became bald because of what I did as it turns out his hair is still thicker up to now. LOL. I would also pinch or scratch him with my nails until it would go deep into his skin that when I remove my hands, I have his DNA on my fingernails. LOL. I would be satisfied that I was able to hurt my brother that bad that his forearm would have my nail prints and is bleeding whenever I would remove my fingers because his skin was already underneath my fingernails.

I was so bad right? Yet my brother would not fight back and would just be holding my hands that he was trying to get away from my grip but I was so strong that the only way for me to let loose is when our mom would come to us with her favorite item in spanking us, a plastic fly swatter. LOL. Even if my brother did not fight back, we both got equal amounts of discipline.

My dad used to tell my mom that my brother was really a good person and he sees himself with my brother and I with my dad's sister as they were also like cats and dogs. That is the reason why my dad wanted the both of us to become lawyers especially me.

Those were just some of my physical fights with my brother. I also lit his favorite cap with a lighter. That time I was just blackmailing him so he can give in to my demands until the fire had reached his cap. It got a small round burnt on the buttom visor. He was really mad at me that it started a physical fight between us but again, I was still the winner. Our fights usually ends with the 2 of us making up because we would join forces to hide from our mom when she is already holding her plastic fly swatter. LOL. Our childhood was really remarkabke because of those fights and punishments.

It was when we were already in our 20s that we became much closer but not where we would tell secrets to each other. Close as in he would always want me to be present if they would visit us or when we would eat out. I have already said that my brother was the person who always supports me in whatever I do and that is why since yesterday I have been really stressed about their store.

I mentioned in my previous article, Grand opening, that my mom's sisters bombarded me that I should manage the store. I replied to them that I would if it was in Metro Manila but it is in a province, hours away from my comfort zone and the fact that I would be staying at my brother's in-law's house. I know I am already part of their family but just thinking about ne of staying therr for months makes me feel uneasy. Just by me staying here at my brother's place also makes me anxious. I checked my stress rate last niggt and it got a 60+ rating during the time when I was replying to my aunts. I even took a screenshot because I am loving the smartwatch that I bought. I will try to nake a review about it soon.

Then this morning while I was having brunch, I was into a lot of stress around 60+ rate again. Why? Because my mom asked me if I really cannot give in to my brother's favor even for just a few months. Second, I found out that Doggie has not yet eaten his brunch yet. Remember my article, Thank God it's Friday? Doggie was so happy when I came home and he was crying during thr first night that I was here. Yesterday when I left, he was really looking so sad. He was looking at me with those sad eyes yet he did not approach me even if I was calling him. He probably knew that I would not be home for a few days because he saw that I was carrying my luggages. I told my mom to try and feed him again bt 1PM but still he did not touch it. I hope that he will eat his food when my parents will be having dinner. Those are what contributed to my stress this day.

As of drafting this at 4:39PM, my brother's family is still in the province. I do not know what time they will come home but even if I am doing nothing, I am really bothered. Am I already considered a bad sister for not accepting my brother's offer? I know that I should take this as a challenge of ne stepping outside ny comfort zone but just by thinking about it makes it harder for me to breath. I have talked about this offer a couple of times with all of you before. Most of you adviced me to take the offer (that I hope it is not because of the iPhone 13 Pro Max 256GB. LOL) but my heart and mind are telling me not to.

However, I really feel guilty since yesterday when we left the store. After I had dinner last night, my brother messaged me that they cannot go home because he was already tired. Now they are not yet home. I do not know what time my godson's online class was but it would have been over by around 2PM and they should be here already if they left around those times. So I am guessing that they man over their store today.

I am sure that they have anticipated these kind of situations before although I feel like they never expected that I would not accept their offer. They assumed that I would manage it because I was jobless. This whole managing the store gives me a lot of stress and migraine. I have already drunk 2 glasses of coffee and I can still feel a light knock-knock on ny head.

My mom's sisters wanted me to manage it because they say that a relative is the perfect candidate in manning the store. So if I have a stable job, will they convince me so hard to manage this business? I have already told them that if it was here in Metro Manila then I would gladly offer my services to them but hours away from home, that is totally a different story.

I may be paranoid but now I feel like my brother, sister-in-law, my brother's in-laws are wondering why it is so hard for me to say yes to them. It is possible that they are thinking about that right? I do not want to think about some negative stuffs but that is how I really feel since yesterday. Why am I also stressing about their store? With all of this, I can only think of myself as a bad sister once again. A bad sister who cannot do something fot her brother even if he has done a lot for me.

P.S. lead image is a photo of the 2 of us when we ate outside just days after I resigned years ago.