Failure

Failure, failure, failure. I do not think there is someone who does not fail. Maybe they have not fail yet but there will come a time that they will too because failure is inevitable. You are probably thinking about Thanos when he said that he was inevitable. Though seriously speaking, failing has been a part of our lives. When you hear about the word fail, what is the first thing that comes to your mind? I have somehow connected my previous articles to this one. From a posivite perspective of motivatingly motivated that has somehow took a down shift to being a quitter and now a failure. Seems like how my life has been before or probably still has been until now.

What do you do when you fail in one thing? Do you instantly get back up? Do you stay still or just give up? There were so many times that I fail in life but I am thankful that I did not get to repeat a year when I was still studying. However, I fail in one subject, PHILOMA or Philiosophy of Man, when I was in college. I cannot remember how many of my blockmates who also failed in that subject but it was really difficult. We all have to think like the philosopher that was assigned to us. Our exams were in essay form and again we have to answer it as if we were the philosopher. I forgot if I told my mom that I failed in one subject but I am glad that I was still able to graduate together with some of my friends.

In general, we fail in a lot of things. I fail in being a responsible and obedient daughter. I fail in being a good sister. I fail in being a reliable friend. I fail in following rules. With regards to my life, I have failed numerous times. Even to the point that I would feel or my parents would made me feel that I was such a failure. Maybe because I was young that it was so hard for me move on from that moment in my life especially it was really painful. I know it is difficult partly for most of us to shrug off negativity that it causes to drain our motivation level. Paulo Coelho once said that "there is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure". However, for me I think our failures can either cause us to quit or to drive us more into pursuing our life, goals and dreams. Although I know there are some people who are actually afraid to fail.

During at that point in my life when I felt that I was such a failure, I also felt like the universe was also making me feel that way. All I can ever do was to blame my wrong decisions in life, hate the world and question God. Why me? Why are all these things happening to me? Why is my life like this? Why can't I be happy and successful? There were so many questions that I asked Him that I even turned my back on Him. It was the first time that I have felt that darkness in me that I do not even care whether I did something bad. Then I even blamed other people because of how I ended up becoming a complete failure. It was actually easier to blame other people but it was even harder to admit that it was really my fault. It was only when I matured that I finally understood and accepted all of the consequences of my actions.

Have you ever said to yourself that you are a failure? Or have you ever felt being like one? Sometimes when we fail, we compare our lives with others thus making us to think that we are not good enough or that our life "socks" (I intentionally misspelled it). Do you believe that comparing is most likely to become envy? I suddenly remembered my envy articles. The more that we feel like we are a failure, the more it gets deeper and harder to escape whether mentally or emotionally. The words, "I am a failure", will linger on our minds for a long time. I do not know how long those words have been on my mind but honestly they are still there. You may think that I am feeding my mind with negativity however I use those words to keep me from going on the right direction. I have let it destruct me before but I have learned from it. My failures does not define me but it rather refines me. We may fail first before we become successful or the other way around either or we just have to accept it as failing and failure are part of our lives and part of our successes.

I would end my article with the quote that I read this morning. I think the reason why I have talked about failure was because of the closing quote that Pisces-jr15 had on one of his articles or probably on all his articles. Let this be a reminder to all of us.

"Failure becomes a failure only if you stop doing it." — @Pisces-jr15

P.S. lead image is our test booklet way back in college. I just grabbed it from my Lyka account as I have posted it early this year when we had our general cleaning.