Another senti Sunday

According to Philipp Reiter, "A positive mindset brings positive things". I have long wanted to write an article about positive mindset that the listed topic that I wrote on my Notes app was proper mindset. That when I read @Sequoia's article on law of attraction, I was more eager to talk about it but I just cannot as if something was stopping me.

Yesterday @Firenze told me and @bbghitte about something that she have recently watched and it was actually the same as having a positive mindset. I said that Hidilyn Diaz, Filipino weightlifter gold medalist at the Summer Olympics 2020, is the perfect example who had a positive mindset and manifested when she said affirmatively before that she would win the gold medal. I also shared with them that I was so positive when 2020 started. That is the reason why I pushed so hard for my Youtube channel. Being positive was not that easy for me especially because I received a lot of negative comments and feedbacks when I was young but when I was with the second to the last company that I have worked with, it was when I slowly became positive. I think it was all because of my Parish Renewal Experience (PREX). I do not know how it is called in different places because when I went to Ilocos, I know it was called differently but it still have a renewal experience in its name. It was an experience where I have renewed my faith and it made me felt lighter spiritually, emotionally and mentally. How I wish it was also physically. LOL. Will talk about that probably soon.

That is why when someone had asked me if I was open minded when I was still working, I really did my best for me and my mom to join that MLM company. There were also moments that when I was being negative with the things that had happened to me, there would be a sign or someone who coincidentally would mention the phrases " positive mind, positive life". I remeber I even saw a shirt with the saying by Philipp Reiter. It was like God was telling me that I have to be positive at all times. So I would instantly shake off those negativities on my mind.

Few weeks ago, our electric fan would not start. My mom just cleaned it and it won't work after. Then days after that, our TV in the kitchen also had some issues as the picture was already in half. The upper half was black and the lower half had picture or vice versa until it totally went black. We can still hear what was being aired on TV but there was no picture. I even joked about it just for me not to think about how much it would cost if I were to buy a new fan and TV. I know that majority of our appliances are already old and they are a few years younger than me. My dad would just bring it to the repair shop and have it fixed but because of the pandemic, he cannot. My dad does not want to throw them away because he still hopes that those appliances can be fixed soon.

And just this afternoon, another electric fan had already reached its limit. I do not know exactly how it happened as my dad and I just heard a loud noise. Judging by the sound, I already guessed that the stand fan might have fell on the floor. So when we went to check it, the blade was outside the room and my mom was also shocked while lying on the bed. The cover of the fan was on the floor. The fan was actually at the bottom of the bed and thank God that the blade did not fly towards my mom. I even saw that there was a slight dent on the blade to think that it was made of metal.

One by one, our appliances got broken in a month. I really wanted to cry this afternoon because of the things that had happened that I immediately grabbed my phone and drafted a few sentences. I just stopped when I messaged my virtual friends and played a few games. It was not only because of the appliances that is why I wanted to cry but there were also other events like my mom's foot and some other personal problems. Just yesterday, she had an allergic reaction to the antibiotic that was prescribed to her so we had to buy another antibiotic. I cannot do anything. I wanted to take away the wound on my mom's foot but I cannot. I wanted to buy them a fan and a television but I cannot. I have a lot of things that I want to do for them but I cannot. I understand that the reason why my dad brings our appliances to a repair shop is because it is cheaper than to buy a new one.

Because of those recent incidents, as much as I wanted to be positive, my mind has been clouded with a lot of doubts, worries and negativities. I feel like the universe is testing me again. Actually, I have already felt that I am being tested since July but I still kept on going. I was even positive that I can do it and that everything will be alright. I would also think of bbghitte's favorite line that "God will provide". However, with all the things that had happened, I do not how long or how far I can go. There were moments when I feel like someone is against me. Like someone is against me to be successful or for me to be happy. I know that problems and worries are inevitable but why is it that I feel like even if I am being positive, I do not seem to attract some positive vibes? Or if I would, it was short-lived. Was it because it was that time of the year? Does a positive mindset really does bring a positive life? Does having good thoughts really attract good things? Or does the thoughts of the people around me also have an impact on me? Does living a positive life always the best way? I believe in Napoleon Hill's saying that "whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve". I also believe in the commercial of one multivitamins before that says, "what the mind can conceive, your body can achieve". That is why I really try to be positive in every way possible because in order to have a successful life, one must have the right mindset. I know that those events were just challenges that tests my whole being and I really hope that I can surpass all these. Life is all about balance and I know that I needed to experience those things in order to have balance. I have been telling myself lately that it is not always Christmas. I cannot be always merry all the time that is why I am here again being all senti on a Sunday night.

P.S. lead image is a photo of the night sky that I took when I let our dogs to pee this evening.