@bam94
Nice clean joke for the week-end: Q: Why do cannibals not like to eat clowns? A: Because they taste so funny. #FunnyJokes
@bam94
@bam94 in May 2021
@bam94
@bam94
May 4th, b with U!
@bam94
Thought I document the noise.cash bitcoin cash flow over the last month. The changes on the platform are clearly visible: look at the last rise which levels off, corresponding to the switch from free tips to hearts. Oh well, I had a few good rounds of free tips (which I send over to Nexo everytime it goes beyond 10-12$, so that explains the sawtooth pattern). This was done with Ledger Live keeping track of my wallet.
@bam94
Wow, thank you all for the enthusiasm about my little noise,cash BCH chart. Here is a little variant, not expressed in BCH, but in dollar equivalent, so it factors in the recent pump and the general variations. I find this interesting as well, You can more clearly see my "transfer-to-nexo" cutoff point of 10ish USD :)
@bam94
Hey, anybody still getting free tips, or have we transitioned to a heart-only system? At least it's not a heartless one, lol.
@bam94
Done some rough analysis of my home-mining experiment this week-end. Turns out the electricity costs were way higher than I anticipated. Mining operations reduced to the most efficient solutions. No surprise here: GPU-based mining - for me FIRO - is the most efficient. Eldest computers are the least energy efficient. Fortunately I have an EVO switch that can directly measure the consumption, so I have it all quantified now. CPU-based mining (Veruscoin) is too expensive…
@bam94
Hi noise.cash community. Does anybody know whether a tool exists where you can indicate the wallet addresses of all your crypto accounts and that harnesses their current value to have an overview? Something like the CoinGecko portfolio, but with an automatic updating of the number of coins held in each of the currency portfolios. Technically, I think that should be doable, because we have the blockchain and this info should be public, right? But then some coins have privacy…
@bam94
Two friends meet. One, an inveterate player says to the other: - I have to tell you some big news: I stop playing ! No more casino, no more betting on horses, no more poker... - Well done, tells him the other. But forgive me, knowing you, I can hardly believe it. I'm even sure you won't hold on ! - Is that so ? How much do you bet ? #Stupidquotes
@bam94
On my way to become a StormGain master :) .. ok, largely helped by the recent bullish ETH, BTC and XRP behavior. From my initial 20 USD mining bonus USDT I made 26 USD which I immediately transferred to DAI to not use them in subsequent trades. Nice strategy that was pointed out here.
@bam94
As promised, a little more detail about the miner setup. First about mining efficiency, here with 3 GPUs: 1080Ti, RTX2080 and RTX3070. They have respective average Firo hash-rates of 4.68, 4.29 and 5.40 MH/s according to the 2miners stats (I could also check that through Hiveos). What I love about 2miners is their really compact web presentation with lots of relevant data. For instance you can directly read how much that earned you e.g. in the last 24h: 0.758278 FIRO aka…
@bam94
Mining experience feedback last part: power monitoring. I use an Eve C815 connected plug onto which all the three mining PCs are hooked. That allows me to estimate rather precisely the cost of the operation. You can see it's about 942W consumption, which is a sizeable overhead on my electricity bill. Previously I have done all the combinations on each PC: GPU+CPU mining, GPU mining, no mining at all, so that I know how much each would cost. I settled for mining only with GPU…
@bam94
Been watching daredevil on Netflix these days. Quite disappointed, it fails to really drag you in. But it’s not bad enough you want to completely stop and not know the development of the plot. I’m in the middle of season 1. Anybody tell me if it’s worth continuing through all 3 seasons? #Marvel
@bam94
Mining conundrum: I had shut one of 4 computers down and stopped all CPU mining to concentrate on GPU mining. Bizarrely, the 3 computers with GPUs mining that I left running seem to make more money than 4 of them before.. really strange. Maybe the CPU load limited them previously, or could it be network congestion? Any ideas where such strange behavior could come from? In any case I'm happy.. electricity bill is going down and profits went up quite a bit (ca 25%).
@bam94
Ok, this is the level of joke I manage to still get together at this late night time (yes, I'm tired): This is the story of a penguin breathing through the buttocks. One day he sits down and dies. #Badjokes
@bam94
Anybody has something to share about the new coin just listed at Binance? It's called ICP, Internet Computer Protocol token. I found this quite intriguing. It entered the top 10 list just like that. Aren't we always in for a surprise with cryptos.. ..anyway, what I'd like to understand is whether this is the safemoon type hype or whether it is solid stuff. So any hints, opinions and facts appreciated. #Cryptocurrency
@bam94
I finally received my Binance credit card yesterday! The first one never arrived, but then they were very helpful in sending a replacement for free. Now I need to wait for my BNB holding level to increase so I get more than the 0.1% cash back of the first level. They actually changed their scheme while I was waiting for the card. Previously it was 1% in the first tier. But I have invested into club 1BNB membership :) now it’s just a question of time (less than a month) for…
@bam94
Daily moment of truth in monitoring/controlling my weight after yesterday’s long run. I use this Beurer connected scale, which is great, together with the open scale software application. Makes it easy to follow all relevant measures. #Fitness
@bam94
What does a snail say when it crosses a slug ? Oh a nudist. #Giggle
@bam94
While my Firo mining ⛏ is now stabilized (see my other posts with details on hardware and electricity), and my mines Veruscoins are staked with hope of some profit (statistically speaking), I wonder whether it is profitable to run some crypto node (Presearch, Theta, Pi, ..). Any feedback on this? Which ones would you recommend? Also, is it costly in terms eg of electricity consumption? #Mining
@bam94
Two eggs discuss: - why are you all green and so hairy ? - because I'm a kiwi, asshole #Badjokes
@bam94
A little extended weekend at the seaside here in Normandy, France. A lovely place. Our flat is just out on the sea, so much better than what we get to see in Paris usually.
@bam94
Some surprising experiences with GPU mining of the past weeks: depending on the coin, you can get very significant differences in power consumption! II naively thought that the GPUs will be running full throttle and so the power consumed would be independent of the coin, but this is not at all the case. Mtp algorithm mining (eg for the Firo coin) is much more power-hungry than Ethash (for ETH): for my 3 card setups I have between 18 and 68 Watt power gain when I switch from…
@bam94
Which is the coolest country in the world ? Yemen. Yeah, man! #Badjokes
@bam94
Influence of noise.cash changes on tips measured over the last month. Unfortunately the initial frenzy is trickling down quite a bit. Probably should be a little more active to see if that reverses the trend. Anyway, it's nice to be able to follow this graphically (I use Ledger Live). I only receive noise.cash tips on that account, so it's an accurat graph of bch received versus time. My activity on noise.cash roughly constant, maybe a bit lower in the very last week.
@bam94
Daily bad joke, special Sunday feature ;)) What is small, green, and very very scary ? A pea with a bazooka. #Badjokes
@bam94
Next one in a mystical series :) How do you call a deaf rabbit? RAAAAAABIIIIIIIITTTTT!!!!!! #Badjokes
@bam94
Progressing in my little mining experiments. Choosing which Coin to mine: done (for now, of course it changes all the time). Choosing mining environment: done (mix of HiveOS and RaveOS so it all stays free). Choosing my favorite pool: done (2miners is great). Monitoring my power consumption: done (it hurts!). Tuning and optimizing the rig setup: first tests with Ohgodanethlargementpill and Overclocking started.. that's a tough nut, actually! For example:…
@bam94
Still got headaches with overclocking my rig.. very weird behavior, but some nice results. By limiting the power I managed to have a reasonable energy consumption but only lost a small percentage of hashrate. Trying to recover more of it however results in the machine - most probably the GPU - stopping it from working properly. I guess I found the upper limit. Just annoyed because it is significantly lower than what others report on overclocking of that same card on the net.…
@bam94
A woman is going to buy a parrot. The prices are 100 $, 200 $ and 15 $. She asks why the last one is so inexpensive compared to the others. "It's because he lived in a brothel," replied the seller. The woman pays 15 $. When they got to the parrot's new home, the parrot said, "Oh ! A new brothel ! The woman laughs. When the woman's daughters come back from high school, the parrot says, "Oh ! Two new girls ! The girls laugh. When the father comes home from work the parrot…
@bam94
A question for Europe-based traders: how do you manage the Euro-Dollar exchange aspect in your trades? Eg when you put your crypto gains into a stable coin when the market is high to utilize in an upcoming dip, the stablecoin is typically stabilized with respect to dollars. Therefore it could still fluctuate quite a bit with respect to the Euro (and unfortunately lately the dollar is rather losing strength). Any solutions or workarounds you recommend to minimize this source…
@bam94
A businessman visits his Chinese friend in the hospital. "Chin yu yan, chin yu yan ...", the patient whispers in a weak voice. The businessman would like to help him, but does not speak Chinese. "Chin yu yan, chin yu yan!“, Repeats the patient. Shortly afterwards he is dead. A few months later, the man is on a business trip to Shanghai, where he learns what "chin yu yan" means: "Step down from my oxygen tube." #FunnyJokes
@bam94
Moving on with watching Daredevil on Netflix. Still at season 1, but I feel it's gonna end soon. Still haven't made up my mind.. the series is not good enough to make me enthusiastic about it, but the plots are still intriguing enough so you want to know more and learn how the characters evolve. For sure I'll go till end of season 1, but shall I go to season 2? That will be a tricky question. #Marvel
@bam94
Switched all my workers from Firo to Eth and go with the crowd for the moment. What annoys me a little is that you need to wait quite a bit to get enough for payout, whereas the limit was much smaller for Firo where I got several payouts a day. Here I have projected maybe 3 payouts per month, which will be nagging on my (lack of) patience. Anyhow I wanted to give the Eth mining a go while it lasts (before the switch to proof of stake end of year). #Mining
@bam94
I just hope this will never happen to me: A very old couple goes into a fast food, where both share a hamburger and a portion of french fries fairly. A truck driver takes pity on them and offers to give the woman her own meal. "No thanks," says the husband. "We share everything.“ The truck driver offers the woman another meal because she has not yet eaten a bite. "She'll still eat," the husband assures him. "We share everything." "And why don't you eat yet?“, the truck…
@bam94
Well, I'm definitely not a good stock investor. With the current dip and having bought for too expensive a price, I made a substantial loss on Coinbase stock. Let's just hope this is the low part of the cycle and goes up again. I was just too optimistic. Will go back to crypto, at least there the volatility is expected :) #CryptoInvestment
@bam94
Really love this one.. the final twist is intense :) A Catholic priest, a Protestant pastor and a Jewish rabbi want to find out who of them is the best pastor. All three go into the forest, look for a bear and try to convert it. Then they meet again. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled it with holy water. He is celebrating First Communion next week."" I found a bear on the river, "says the pastor," and preached God's word…
@bam94
Note to self for improving my investment skills: need to stash away some amount in stable coins so I can buy when we're in a dip like right now... stupidly enough I had set aside but bought roughly a week ago thinking the then mini-dip was significant. Ah well. Just another failure for self-improvement. Next time I'll just fail better :) #CryptoInvestment
@bam94
A classical recursive joke: The Indians in a remote reserve go to their new chief and ask how cold the next winter will be. Since he never learned the secret arts of his ancestors, he orders his brothers to collect firewood, but also calls the weather service and asks: “How cold is winter?"" Very cold, "is the answer. The chief returns to his brothers and tells them to collect more firewood. A week later he calls again: “Are you sure that winter is getting very cold?""…
@bam94
Moved to a new "level" in Stormgain today. The initial strategy was to get funds through mining to do some trading, then exchange the trading gains to some other coin (so they will not be used in further trading and are secured), and when possible cash out. This worked out rather nicely: I made ca 50 USD gains like that, by following the "Signals" provided by Stormgain. In the end however, inevitably, I lost all (bonus) funds in one trade that didn't work out. Now I am…
@bam94
To celebrate their 30th wedding days, Hannu and his wife are planning a trip to the hotel where they once spent their honeymoon. Everything should be perfect. Hannu drives a day earlier to prepare everything. At night he writes an email to his wife, but enters the wrong address and the message ends up with the widow of a recently deceased pastor. The next morning, the widow's son finds his mother passed out in front of her computer. The screens hows: "My dearest wife, I have…
@bam94
Finished Daredevil season 1 yesterday. Overall it was okish, a bit slow, but still interesting intrigues. However I am not sure I will go for season 2.. seems it does not get better, which is a pity. #Marvel
@bam94
A resident from Stockholm goes to the country to hunt for ducks. When he sees a duck, he aims and shoots. But the bird falls on the farm of a farmer and he does not pull out the prey. "This is my bird," the town guy insists on his rightful prey. The farmer suggests that the dispute be settled with a kick in the abdomen, as is customary in the country. “Whoever screams less gets the bird.“ The city dweller agrees. The farmer takes out and lands a huge kick in the man's soft…
@bam94
My wife asked me to give her lip balm. I accidentally gave her super glue. She still doesn't speak to me. #Giggle
@bam94
Do you also feel as if cyptos have a major time distorsion field around them? Right now this feels like a terrible, deep dip.. but actually - at least if I look at my own history that you can see in the graphs - I'm not even down half of my holdings, and compared to 1 month ago I am actually still 19% up (ok that mixes some mining rewards, noise.cash eanings and such things into it so not 100% accurate, but still..). Be aware of this time distorsion effect and do not let…
@bam94
Two Eskimos go home. One asks the other: "Where's your igloo??" - The other is startled: "Oh no, I left the iron on!" #Giggle
@bam94
Oh, is this a new functionality? Now got random tip back for hearting. I hadn't noticed this before. Since when is that happening?
@bam94
(sorry reposting because I forgot to attach the screen capture; now it is included) Oh, is this a new functionality? Now got random tip back for hearting. I hadn't noticed this before. Since when is that happening?
@bam94
A Little Red Riding Hood joke : Little Red Riding Hood goes alone through the dark forest. Suddenly she hears a rustle behind a thick bush. She pushes the branches and shrubs aside and suddenly the bad wolf sits in front of her. "Oh bad wolf. Why do you have such biiiig red eyes??" The wolf says: "Get out. I'm taking a dump!" #Badjokes
@bam94
Grandma's the best! See for yourself: A grandma has been bringing a small plastic bag of peanuts to the bus driver for a week. The bus driver then says: “It is really very nice of you. I also like the nuts. But why don't you eat the nuts yourself.” Grandma says: "Oh, you know. My teeth are bad. The nuts are too hard for me. I just like the chocolate around it.” #Giggle
@bam94
did you hear about the new StopElon coin? Apparently they wanted to call it FuckElon first. Idea is to overtake control of Tesla by gaining enough money. They have amassed over 60 million and the coin soared from some infinitesimal value to over 1 dollar.. crazy times, these are. #Cryptocurrency
@bam94
Ok, it's my birthday today, so with aging and all I feel a little childish, and here you go with a joke: My wife wanted to talk to me about my childish behavior today. - Well, too bad, but without a password she cannot enter my pillow castle! #Giggle
@bam94
Ok, so I finished my first training program with Garmin coach, over 13 weeks. Somewhat mitigated by the experience, I had hoped for more personalized feedback and insight. But still ok. Before I used the Adidas miCoach and was very satisfied, but they discontinued it. What I did not like is that they give you instructions based on your running speed and not on heart rate; that is pretty tough if you don't run on flat terrain but through hills and valleys. Any feedback and…
@bam94
I like how doctors think; my mother was doing IT support, and she also had developped that logic as it is how the majority of users behave: Patient to doctor: "Whenever I drink a coffee, I get a nasty stab in my eye. What can that be??" - Doctor: "You have to take out the spoon before drinking." #FunnyJokes
@bam94
Hmm, quite intrigued about the variability if mining rewards. I have a constant number of computers running (5) with roughtly 220 MhZ hashrate for Ethereum, yet I get wildly varying daily rewards from little over 0.006 ETH to 0.011 ETH .. is that common? Do you have a similar experience? I wonder whether it is specific to Ethereum, because when I was mining Firo it seemed somewhat more constant. #CryptoMining
@bam94
One Indian meets another. "And what are you doing??” - "I look at the smoke signs over there.” - "Oh, oh so. What do they say?” - "I don't know, advertising is still running.” #Giggle
@bam94
One official to the other: "I don't know what people have against us, we don't do anything!' #Giggle
@bam94
Hi, after doing phoneum mining for a few weeks now, I really wonder whether it is legit or not. Have you also noticed how the weekly gains have been doing down consistantly? In the beginning over 400 pht per week is fine, but now its down do 65.. which is worth next to nothing. And its only been going g down with roughly a factor 2 each time. This way I'll be in retirement when I reach 10000, the minimum for cash out.. Whats your experience so far? #Phoneum
@bam94
Ok, let me apologize in advance to the elderly among us for this joke; still found it funny: Question: What is 100 KM / h fast and has only 23 teeth. - Answer: Answer: A bus trip with the retirement home inmates #Badjokes
@bam94
This one is quite macabre and bad taste, but one of its kind.. What is written on a virgin's tombstone? "Return back to sender unopened!" #Badjokes
@bam94
Ok here some intermediate report on my honeygain earnings.. it is going veerry slowly, but advancing. Even with the 5$ starting bonus I think it’ll be 2-3 months. So leaving it run on the side for a little extra seems fine, but for some good earning it seems too little. #HoneyGain
@bam94
Funny life support : Tip if someone wants to argue with you: just eat a few cookies. They taste delicious and you can't hear anything anymore. #Quickthoughts
@bam94
A question about training programs: I used to run with adidas micoach, based and guided by heart rate zones. They discontinued their program. I found out I can program something similar in my Garmin device. Now I am looking for training plans for running, typically 10ish weeks long with 3 runs per week and a progression in the heart rate profile for each run. My objective is weight loss. Anyone knows whether I can find some plans like that on the internet? #Fitness
@bam94
Funny and a little bit sad: In a job interview : What would your friends say, what is your greatest weakness?. - I have none. - Oh come; everyone has some. - I have no friends. #Giggle
@bam94
Watching "money explained" on Netflix. How could I miss this one so far? Even talks about crypto (mostly to watch of scams, describes the One Coin thingy..). It is short and to the point, so I feel time well spent. #Netflix
@bam94
The joke with the sharks : Why are many sharks so close to the beach?? - Only there you can find surfers nicely presented on breakfast platters, nicely decorated with little flags. #Giggle
@bam94
With the dip I am trying to refine my strategy; I think having 20-30% of my holdings in stable coins could be a good way to stay "safe" and more stable in times of harsh dips and also have a little something stowed away to buy into dips. Furthermore with Nexo et al. it can also earn interest. Now I wonder, which stablecoins do you recommend among USDT, USDC, Dai and the many others? Any recommendations greatly appreciated. #CryptoInvestment
@bam94
Hmm, wondering whether we are going down again in quality at noise.cash. I get quite some hearts on my posts, which is of course nice, but am intrigued by several observations: when I post questions, I almost never get answers, whereas I would have expected that the ones hearting would at least have a comment to post even if they don't have the answer. Also, by looking up a few of the hearters I found clear spammers (must be having some bot sending short text bits to their…
@bam94
A police officer wants to determine the personal details. The driver has no papers with him. - The policeman asks: What is your name?? - Says the driver: Otschenzofski - The policeman asks: How do you spell that?. - Says the driver: T-H-A-T
@bam94
Really wondering whether I should give this chia coin “proof of space and time” a go. It sounds both refreshingly different and horrendously complex. Furthermore demanding on the hardware (and hard disks in particular). Anybody got experience with it? #CryptoMining
@bam94
A policeman stops a vehicle and tells the driver: driver's license please! - Driver: How dare you, I gave it to you two months ago and never got it back. You've probably lost it. did you?
@bam94
Market going up ever so sloowwly.. but the trend seems to stabilize. I like to look at the CoinGecko 7-day chart for my portfolio to visualize that. It is amazing how correlated many of the coins are!
@bam94
I swapped my diet 2 weeks ago... The gummy bears are now to the right of the laptop.
@bam94
Hey! 299 subscribers, that's amazing. Thank you all. This is such a nice community here (apart for the spammers of course). I will try to keep up with messages (and jokes).
@bam94
Mama Kangaroo jumps through the Australian bush. Suddenly a penguin looks out of her bag, vomits and says: "Oh damn student exchange!"
@bam94
Looking at the evolution of my own crypto-funds to judge how the market is doing is of course biased, but still, from that I would argue we are back to a normal growth regime and have just lost the unduly gained overheads of the previous months (the upward bulges from the red line). #Cryptocurrency
@bam94
The resident of an apartment on the 5th floor discovers a snail in the flower box on his balcony. He throws the snail from the balcony onto the street. After 2 years, the doorbell rings. He opens the door. There is the snail and says: "What was this action about??"
@bam94
Trying to do an experiment and write a python script to query my wallet balances. This seems trickier than I thought, despite the fact that the information actually "freely" exists on the blockchain and can be looked at with the various blockchain explorers. But for example, each coin seems to have it's own python api (if not several).. is there not one package that you can query many (let's say the top 100) coins with? #Cryptocurrency
@bam94
A little mean saying: What is the difference between free and for nothing? My school education was for free, yours for nothing.
@bam94
Why was little Tony so happy when he finished the puzzle after 7 months?? - Because the packaging said: 3 - 5 years.
@bam94
Any suggestion for the least painful way (I mean least costly, of course) to convert some Ethereum in a hardware wallet into bitcoin cash? I want to pay minimum fees, and have a reliable channel to do so. Right now I see the option to send Ethereum to an exchange and then convert to BCH there. That currently seems to have 2-3 USD costs for sending the Ethereum. Any better? #Cryptocurrency
@bam94
Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Mom: Why is there no coasters beneath the glass??
@bam94
Does anybody know whether there are mining pools where you can opt to be paid in stablecoins rather than in the crypto that you are mining? #CryptoMining
@bam94
Quite proud: today I cashed in my gains of trading with bonus cloud mining ⛏ gains on storm gain. Roughly 0.06 BTC, nice. It was a bit tricky because you need at least 0.11 BTC to be able to withdraw from storm gain. I used some of my etherreum for that, to transfer in to storm gain first, exchanges the eth to user, then to BCH to achieve the threshold amount and withdraw finally to Nexo. Not the easiest, but workable. #CryptoTrading
@bam94
Being mean disguised as a compliment.. let's hope your couple does not go there: Woman: "Honey? I don't really feel pretty. I have become so fat and urgently need a compliment!" The husband: "You have a great gift of observation."
@bam94
Famous last words from a postman: "Oh what a cute nice dog."
@bam94
This would be really very funny if I hadn't lived through a similar situation already 🚧👷♂️😜: I couldn't believe it. My neighbor actually rang our doorbell at 3 a.m. I almost let the drilling machine fall to the ground.
@bam94
Two grains of sand walk through the desert. One says to the other: “Gosh is it full here today!"
@bam94
Yesterday I opened a BlockFi account. For a start, I'll deposit some stablecoins to shield my crypto investments. I noticed that USDT gets slightly higher APY (9,3%) than other stablecoins (8,6 %). I have seen similar trends on other sites. Anyone knows why this is? Eg all other stable coins seem to get the same percentage, but Tether gets a little more?? #CryptoInvestment
@bam94
Health-related joke; don't read on if you don't like making fun of illness. Doctor: "You have cancer and you have Alzheimer's." Patient: "Well, thank God, at least it's not cancer."
@bam94
How do you track your activities? I have been using iSmartrain for a few years, and I do like it, even if it is not as user friendly as other solution. At least it is vendor independent and has a good support to patch in data from eg your heart rate monitor (I use Garmin). #Fitness
@bam94
Joke "ad absurdum": Two cows are sitting on a tree and knitting atomic bombs. A sheep comes flying by. Then one cow says to the other: "There are such weird things ..."
@bam94
Follow-up of previous joke (https://noise.cash/post/lx8nw3kp): A moment later: a huge bang, a scream, lots of smoke. One cow is completely charred. The sheep asks: "What's going on??" The other cow says to the sheep: "She dropped her stitch!" (by the way, I did not find a way to refer to the previous joke other than to add the link; I wanted to renoise with a comment, but seems I cannot do on my own posts, nor comment on it)
@bam94
This is the spirit (of being very protective of your money): “Dad, someone is collecting for the new swimming pool." "Well then, give him a bucket of water."
@bam94
Professor to student: “With all that you don't know, at least two other students could fail!"
@bam94
Very simple mantra that can surprisingly get you through much of this life: Smile, nod and hope it wasn't a question. You know that.
@bam94
A boy helps an old nun across the street. The nun: Thank you very much, my little one. The boy: No problem. Batman's friends are also my friends. 🦹🏻♂️🦇
@bam94
The wife asks her husband: "What do you like most about me, my beautiful body or my outstanding intelligence?" After a brief consideration the husband replies: "I think rather it is your sense of humor."
@bam94
Golf joke Four men approach the 15th. Hole. The first golfer hits the ball with a hook on the left over the fence. The ball flies onto the street, jumps up there and meets a passing bus, claps off it and jumps directly onto the green. Everyone is amazed. Then someone asks the golfer: "Tell me how you do it?" He answers without hesitation: "You have to have the bus schedule in your head."
@bam94
A man secretly wants to get rid of his wife's cat and decides to put her out in the wild. He takes her into the car, drives 20 houses, takes the cat out and drives home. The cat is back ten minutes later. "Well," thinks the man, "maybe the route was a little too short". Sit back in the car with the cat, drive 5 kilometers and drop the cat. The cat is back home twenty minutes later. "Now that's enough!"the man thinks, takes the cat in the car and drives 20 kilometers, then…