You should marry because you love the person
Blog 50
Date :March 30,2022
Time :9:15pmFinding the one is really hard or should I say choosing the one is harder.
It's all my fault. I knew from the beginning that this relationship won't work out because we are not the perfect match. We can't understand each other. You can hardly understand me. You don't have to exert any effort to know more about me. Married for more than years but till now you still don't know when I am not okay. If you do, you don't know why I am not okay. I honestly just get used to being ignored or taken for granted. This is not the kind of relationship that I want I am not honestly happy anymore. I tried, I really tried to find reasons to be happy with you but I can't find any reasons anymore. It seems that I am not enough or everything I do is not enough. You didn't see my worth. You didn't see all my sacrifices. No one appreciates what I have done. This feeling is killing me inside. This is not the life I wanted. I didn't wish to have everything. I only want to live a simple yet happy life. A life where someone knows my worth. A life where someone knows how to appreciate everything that I've done. I'm tired of being neglected and left unappreciated. I don't know until when I can handle this.
However, I was thinking I need to start loving myself again. I miss the old version of me. The person who smiles more often. The person that loves to make other people happy. Make them laugh. How I wish I could be happy the same way before. I kinda lost interest in doing things past days. I am not just physically tired but I am mentally tired. Tired of everything.
I shouldn't marry because I just got pregnant, now I am facing all the consequences of my decision. Where living together because we're married, but not because we love each other. No matter how I tried but I can't force myself to love you. I can't feel you anymore. Since you have already stopped showing your affection towards me. I don't want to force things that I know it is impossible to happen. Saying I love is not enough to show how much you love a person, it needs effort and love language to make someone feel loved. I am tired of doing part, I am always left unappreciated.
Ending thoughts
Life is unpredictable. Because of my impulsive decisions, I now regret why I choose to be married to someone I know I can't be happy with. My life was way better before but I tried looking for love and happiness, love that I just felt from the beginning. Happiness that slowly fades. You're a fan of making other people laugh but I don't know when was the last time you make me laugh.
To all my daily readers and commenters .Thank you for your precious time.
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Sis lisod gyud kaau ang kinabuhi kung feel nato wala natai kalipay sis noh? Pero laban lang gyud sis, kahibalo ko dli ka pasagdan ne God, naa rah gyud siya sis naghulat nga moduol kah, ampo lang tah sis, ma ok rah lage na ang tanan.