I am not that bad as you think

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Avatar for alicecalope
1 year ago
Blog:232-6th
Date :March 28,2023
Time :9:18am

I don't have anyone to talk to. I wanted to vent out the pain I am feeling right now. Anxiety attacks me again last night after we argued with my husband. It is just so hard for me to bear the pain that my husband causes me.

The situation was I found out from the call logs on his phone that he was talking to his girl co-workmate so I ask him politely what's their topic why they have to talk over the phone but my husband reacted so weirdly, he got mad and he told me I am accusing him, but I am not accusing him I ask him so he can explain his side but as usual or as I expected he always thought I wanted to fight. I have the right to ask coz I am his wife. I was just wondering why of all people or his co-workmates why that girl contact him. He can't answer me with a solid reason so I tried to call the girl, same with my husband she can't give me an exact or direct answer to my question, I even ask her why all her co-workers why he have to call my husband, does she have any contact with other co-workers?

Yesterday, the husband got the chance to talk with the girl and the husband told me that the girl and her husband broke up. It's like the husband was trying to say that I was the reason why that girl and her husband broke up. Like? why me? If that girl is loyal and doesn't do anything stupid why do they have to break up?

Last night I ask my husband why that girl has to call him over the phone. does that girl don't have any other contact with her other co-workmates? My husband started to get mad and even told me that I was the one who cause the trouble with the girl and her husband. Why me? He even felt pity for the girl coz the girl cried as he said that made me react hysterically and throw things all over the floor. I felt so much pain like he was on the side of the girl and what about me, I cried so many times for 3 years of being with him but I never felt that he felt pity for me. I cried so much and even shouted out of anger. I'm fed up I did everything just to make our marriage work. I did a lot of sacrifices just to make our family intact but why? why do I have to be in pain over and over again? I don't deserve to be treated this way.

My face after crying so hard last night and I only slept for 2 hours.

My husband never tried to make me calm down only my eldest daughter try to make me feel okay. I felt bad for my two kids that they have to witness such a terrible situation. I never wish to have this kind of relationship.

Then his mom arrive and was trying to tell me to calm down but no one can dictate to me what to do or what to feel. It's over with us with her son. I regret marrying her son. They already did that even before. Marrying his son is the biggest mistake I ever made.

His parents can't even give us a piece of good advice coz his parents is not a good example as well. His mom told me to just stay and sacrifice no matter what happen like even if we kept fighting but I told her I will never be like you and your husband. You both didn't know what the effect on your children is of having parents who keep fighting. I was from that kind of family. I grew up hearing my parents fighting over and over again. I never wish my kids to witness me and my husband fighting over and over again. So I decided to finally leave my husband. Leaving him for good. I don't care if we are married, marriage is just a piece of paper. Marriage is not a guarantee that you and your partner will stay forever. It takes courage, patience, love, and respect to make it work.

Ending thoughts

For now, I am still trying to find a house for rent, near my workplace. I choose to rent that going back to my parent's house coz I don't want to be in toxic surroundings. I need to have peace of mind and I can only get it if I will stay in a place where I only need to think about my two kids.

Anyway to those who are new to my account, I am sure you have to back-read all the articles related to my husband for a better understanding of why we ended up this way. If you will advise me to have a heart-to-heart talk, then that's useless, I've tried so many times before and I always end up hurt. It's useless talking to someone who thinks that every time I open up something he will think that I am accusing him or I am starting a fight.

Relationship with no respect and love is impossible to last.

Photos used in this article are all owned by yours truly unless it is stated.

Lead Image and thumbnail edited using Canva

To my ever-dearest readers, upvoters, and likers who still continue to support me up until this time, thank you for your precious time and for your efforts. I love you all.

Hivers let's connect

https://ecency.com/hive-109667/@bigeyes2012/let-me-introduce-myself

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$ 0.50 from @Coolmidwestguy
$ 0.16 from @TheRandomRewarder
$ 0.02 from @fantagira
+ 4
Avatar for alicecalope
1 year ago

Comments

Tinuod na jud ni sis? Krn pako nangbsa sa mga entries ni bob ba ky skit ako mga kamot ba mao di ko mgdugy sa cp nko. Bsta kung unsa imo decision didto pud ko pero kapoy na sd bya na inyo style pud✌️ sama ra sd na sa amoa nga graveh na ka toxic pero para sko mga anak nag antos tawon ko ani.

Relationship with no respect and love is impossible to last. True jud ni sis ba pero cge lng naa pa ta chance na mgmalipayun ta in our own ways.

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1 year ago

naokay nami sis naay next nga article nako..nag okay mi for the sake sa among anak ana nalang para di mi mabungkag

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1 year ago

That's a brave decision, but also the only right one in your situation. There are so many unhappy people in unhappy marriages and relationships. I'm happy you decided not be one of those. All the best finding the right place for yourself and your children 💙

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1 year ago

Thank you Fantagira

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1 year ago

Hi sis! It's just so hard basta in ana ang situation and you have all the right jud. I really hope na you'll stay at your post, ikaw ang wife, ang balay inyuha, feelings and emotions jud modaku kun triggered but ayaw lang sa padalos2 ug decision, mas maayo ug molie low ka but don't leave your house kay nawala ang chance for reconciliation sis... i'm praying for you sis!

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1 year ago

Thank you for the prayer sis..It helps alot

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1 year ago

Welcome sis

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1 year ago

I think you made the right decision sis. Why stay in a toxic relationship, wala ng martir ngayon. I wish you goodluck on your being single again. Kaya mo naman buhayin ang anak mo so why stay with him, di ba

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1 year ago

thank you sis.Indepedent akong babae kaya,kaya kong mabuhay kahit walang asawa.hehehe

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1 year ago

Dapat ganyan sis saka dapat din nasa iyo mga anak mo.

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1 year ago

Okay na kami sis.kakapagod din mag alsa balutan eh

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1 year ago

ah ok sis, i guess di ka pa punung puno, hehe

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1 year ago

Napagod na ako kakalayas sis hirap ng maraming gamit

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1 year ago

hahahaha, sabagay hirap nga nyan

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1 year ago

kung mapera lang ako easy to leave kaso wala eh hehehe

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1 year ago

Kung sa tingin mo sis yan ang best way go lng, sabi nga napapagod din naman ang puso at isip at cguro ngaun na nga ung time na pagod na pagod ka na din at susuko na sa laging pag-uunawa sa knya. Fight lng sis.

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1 year ago

salamat sis.I am trying to be strong for my kids

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1 year ago

Oo sis, sila na lang isipin, yaan mo na yang asawa mo, may karma din sya at sna hindi pa huli ang lahat sa knya

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1 year ago

yes sis...kahit lumuha pa siya ng dugo di na ako babalik sa kanya. Kagabi nga di man lang niya ako pinapakalma .iyak ako ng iyak sabay sabi ko wag siyang mag alala dahil huling beses na niyang makitang umiyak ako dahil sa kanya kung iiyak man ako ulit na siya ang rason siguro kung patay na siya

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1 year ago

Kaya dapat maging matatag ka sis bka iniisi nya makukuha ka nya uli sa sorry nya, wag mo ng isipin ang buong pamilya kung puro sakit lang din naman ng kalooban ang makukuha mo

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1 year ago

di ako madadala sa pasorry2x sis hehehe

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1 year ago

Sorry about ani sis. Grabe naman sad. Mas nag worry pa siya ato kaysa nimu na wife. May right gayud ka mangutana kay wife ka niya tas baye iyang ka estorya.

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1 year ago

para niya sis hugaw ra daw ko ug huna2x if wa pay laing meaning ilang pagtawag2x pwede ra man siya muexplain ug tarung di ky akoy himooong maot

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1 year ago

Mao gayud sis. Dapat di siya masuko. Dapat i-explain nimu niya ug tarung. Natural gayud muinato ka kay wife ka sis.

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1 year ago

gani sis. Explaination raman akong need..wa ko nag accuse nag ask ko to know the truth behind the calls mao ra

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1 year ago

Mao gayud sis. Maong dapat gi explain niya nimu sis.

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1 year ago

Don't worry Alice you're so strong and please don't cry for the person who never care about your feeling. You have a best daughter ever. Stay strong my dear friend More power comes to you 🥰

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1 year ago

Thank you Lesly

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1 year ago

You're welcome 🥰

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1 year ago

im so proud of you to finally have the courage to leave him sis, I hope your kids will be alright, but wil you be bringing them with you? What f you will ask your boss to have the place converted ot a sleeping place when you close? I mean that would save you money

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1 year ago

uban2x naman nako akong bunso sis 1 month na sukad naay work akong bana.about sleeping place not what I need ky majority sa butang sa among balay is akoa and I can't just leave it there ky dili to conjugal property

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1 year ago

I feel so sorry to hear your story. I can understamd how much pain do you have right now in your heart. It was really hurtful when your husband don't want to tell the truth.

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1 year ago

salamat sis..

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1 year ago

Dzai, paka single sa ka ha. Focus on yourself and your kids. Ipahuway sa ang heart. Amping dinha.

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1 year ago

yes dzai.mao ny reason nga mubiya ko arun makafocus kos akong mga anak

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1 year ago

I am sorry to hear about this sis. Cry until you can cry no more. Let's just hope na magiging tatay pa din sya sa anak mo. You're strong and keep going strong. 🤗🤗

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1 year ago

I am trying to be okay sis.Emotional lang ako this time .Umiiyak ako while typing this article na nakatulong na rin na maibsan yung sakit na nararamdaman ko.

Salamat sis.I have to be strong para sa mga anak ko

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1 year ago