Forget the mistake, remember the lesson

Blog 29
Date:February 28, 2022
Time : 12:03pm

We make decisions in our lives that ended up us regretting it after.

March Year 2016 when I met this man named Norman. I meet him through a dating site. This was the time when Nick left me hanging. If you might wonder who is Nick then click Meeehhh. Norman is a gentleman. He never asks for sexy photos or anything unusual unlike what other men on dating usually ask. After exchanging some convo on dating sites we decided to talk on Whatsapp and in Facebook messenger. He works in a call center company in Florida USA.

He courted me through chat and since I feel that he is a good man so I said yes. We used to talk every day even if I am working. Video calling all the time even he is going to work and he introduced me to his workmates. I really feel his sincerity.

One day he told that he wants to retire from his work. Yes, retire because he is already more than 60 that time. Sorry, I just forget his age lol. He wanted to move for good here in the Philippines. He wanted to start his new life here with us.Us because I am a mom of one when I met him. I was already working at the computer shop at that time and when I told my lady boss about the plan for Norman, She just agreed to It. Norman plans to stay here for 4 months so I don't want to just take a leave from my work for 4 months. I decided to quit my job without any second thought. We live at the boarding house near the public market where my workplace is located. But since I can't find a place in my hometown where Norman and I together with my daughter to stay for 4 months, I decided to find an apartment in the city. I ask my cousin Ellen to help me find an apartment. Luckily we find one near a private school and near the airport. It cost seven thousand five hundred a month. It's a two-story apartment not fully furnished. After paying the one-month advance and one deposit I have to buy some stuff for the apartment like a dining table and chairs. Of course, Norman sent a budget for it.

We finally move from the boarding house to the apartment. I also have to transfer my daughter to the public school just a distance from the apartment. My daughter was in Grade four at that time. Anyway, my mom was staying with us at the apartment because she ran away from our house because my dad is a drunkard and they always had a fight. I told my mom to stay with us.

After a week of waiting, I finally met Norman in person. I have to travel by boat to Cebu to meet up Norman at Mactan International Airport. He wanted us to have time for each other first before heading back to Bohol. We spent a couple of days exploring Cebu. My lady boss/cousin lives in Cebu at that time so she invited us to have a trip to Bantayan Island. On our way to Bantayan, I discovered something about Norman. I was using his phone that time when a girl sent a picture of her private part. I was honestly shocked. I was shaking and my heart beat faster. I didn't want to ruin our trip to Bantayan Island so I just decided to talk to Norman about it when the time we arrived at the place where we stayed in Bantayan Island. He then explained to me about that girl but honestly, I didn't trust him anymore. I don't know what to believe. He was so gentlemanly towards me and later did I know that he's been chatting with other girls and talking about naughty things. Our trip went well even if I discovered something about Norman. The place was so nice and peaceful. It's a very secluded place. Not a lot of tourists are there, especially foreigners.

We headed back to Cebu City before we travel back to Bohol. I think that was May 1st when we arrived at the apartment. When my mom finally meet Norman she told my daughter that here comes your other daddy. I honestly feel disappointed with what my mom said. She should not say that in front of Norman. Anyway, after we rest for a while we decided to find a place to buy an air conditioner and a fridge. Since Norman lives in a tropical place too he is used to hot weather but our weather here is different. It's more humid here in the Philippines. We bought an air conditioner and a fridge that day. Finally, it's cooler in our room and we can finally stock food on our new fridge.

We live in the apartment peacefully with the same cycle every day. Wake up early, send and pick up Ashley from school. On weekends we spent time at the resort near our apartment. Sometimes we invited the sister of my high school classmate who is also a single mom and living with her American boyfriend. We hang out at the resort for a day.

One day Norman told me about his health problems. Anyway, Norman is a health-conscious person. He never tried smoking not even once. He only drinks wine occasionally. He told that He had a hernia.

He wanted to do the operation here in the Philippines. So I take him to the private hospital here in Bohol and scheduled him for the said operation. It cost him more than 100k for the said operation and thanks to God the operation went well. He told me that it cost more if he did the operation in his place. After the operation, he rested for a couple of weeks before he decided to visit a physical therapist because he felt strange on his right shoulders. We have to visit the physical therapist twice a week.

In our free time, we spent it rooming around Bohol. There was one time he rented a scooter for a day so we can easily travel from one place to another place but we almost bump into a tricycle in the city because he is not used to riding a motorcycle. And we all know how it goes here bumper to bumper. At that time I still don't know how to drive a motorcycle so I just let him drive but honestly, I felt scared knowing that he was still 16 years old when the Last time he drive a motorcycle was. We travel to Alona Panglao and I was the one who guided him honestly I am not good at navigating Lol even if I am using Google Maps. I told him we better use public transportation it's safer to ride.

We spent days in Valencia, we also visited nearby towns like Dimiao and Garcia Hernandez. He is into an adventure even if he is already old Lol. We visited the twin falls in Dimiao Bohol.

We also tried to visit Dumaguete City. It's a city where lots of ex-pats are living there. It was my second time in that place since my Grandmother from my father's side came from Dumaguete and I got the chance to visit Dumaguete when I was 13 years old. We didn't enjoy our trip there because I was not feeling well. I had a cold at that time and we didn't get the chance to visit the tourist spots in Dumaguete. Anyway, Dumaguete is the place where Norman propose to me, we were walking at the bay walk that time when He suddenly kneel down. I was speechless that time but of course I said yes and that was the second time that I got engaged. Wanna know to who I was engaged first? Nah! That's another story to tell. So yeah we were engaged. We plan to get married in Florida. Why Florida? Because He decided to go back to his place and wait for his house to be sold before we can finally move and stay here in the Philippines for good.

However, there was one time I was scrolling on his phone, particularly in his Whatsapp account, I accidentally see his conversation with his Filipina friend who lives in his house and as a tenant. Because his house is big and he is living there alone so he let his other rooms be rented. I discovered that he had an affair with that Filipina. That Filipina has 2 kids and is married to a foreign man but his husband works as a truck driver who travels a lot. I saw in their conversation that they were talking about me and Norman even told the girl that she is more beautiful than me. Oh, F*ck. They even talk naughty stuff. Again he broke my trust in him. It's not really my intention to investigate him but I think that was a sign that I should not trust him. I ask Norman about what I discovered and he confesses to me everything. I can't believe that he can do that to me. He is been cheating on me since our relationship started. Honestly, when a relationship just started and trust is already gone I don't really know if I can trust him again. But my question is if I broke up with him how am I going to survive and support the needs of my daughter? I leave my job because of him. So I decided to forgive him and give him another chance. But to be honest I don't trust him anymore. Love is slowly fading.

The first week of August when my mom decided to go to Cebu where my eldest brother lives. Dad already knew where we live in the city and he was trying to harass my mom so I told my brother if mom can live with him.

Just a week after my mom leave Norman had to go back to his place because that was the end of his visa. I decided to go back to my parent's place. We can't continue living in the apartment anymore. If Norman stays here his pension is more than enough but if he goes back to his place it's just enough for his expenses.

When we were back in my parents I was living with my dad, my other elder brother, and my daughter. The first few months of staying there were fine and peaceful until one time when my dad was drunk and try to break some of my stuff. I think it was a wrong idea to live there. My dad will never change. I decided to find a place where we can stay luckily we found a big house just nearby Barrio from my parent's place. We live there for almost 3 months until the time Norman decided to break up with me. I don't really understand him. He wanted me to send him a video clip while I am trying to play my private parts (sorry about it but that's the truth). He told that as he is the one who supported us financially I should follow what he wants and honestly it's against my will. I don't like doing it. It's like he disrespected me as a woman.

He broke up with me in 1st week of December 2016. He blocked me on his Facebook account. I honestly don't know what to do after he broke up with me. I was left hanging. How I will start my life again? How we will survive.

I decided to live in my grandmother's house (dad's mom). Since I can't pay the monthly rent for the house and we can't go back to my parent's place. Glad my Lola(Grandma) is letting us stay in her house. She's living there alone. What I want is love in that place is, is just so near to the market and the church.

Honestly, I felt happy after Norman broke up with me. I lost so much weight because of the stress that I've been through. I was so skinny that time that a lot of people are wondering why I lost so much weight. Norman wants me to do things that are against my will make me feel stressed.

Since I live my Lola's house with all the stuff that I have like the dining table set, the air-conditioner, the fridge, the 3 electric fans, and other stuff. I decided to sell them since I don't really need them. My Lola has her own fridge and other stuff. I used all the money that I got from the stuff that I sold to provide our daily needs, especially the needs of my daughter. I was able to fix my teeth problems too. I spend $110(P5,500) just on my teeth. Of course, I can't afford to visit a dentist before. The dentist did a great job on my teeth as it doesn't hurt anymore. The dentist had to clean my damaged teeth and fill them in after.

I think that's all for that story. I am sorry If it's a bit long story. If you want to know how did I survive after I quit my job and after Norman dump me then just click Me

Final thoughts

All decisions should be thought hundred times so I didn't end up regretting after. It was a wrong decision to trust Norman and leave my job because of him. And talking about trust, it's really hard to trust again after someone breaks that trust you've given.

Anyway, Norman already passed away in the year 2020 around August I think. His daughter messages me on messenger telling me that her dad passed away because of Bladder cancer.

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